


Sticks and Stones and Bitty-Bones

by uog101



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: (kinda), Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Bittybones (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Angst and Fluff and Smut, Anxiety, Bad Puns, Depression, Drama, Edgy Sans (Undertale), Excessive Swearing, F/M, Female Reader, Hurt/Comfort, I'm so sorry I have no control over Sans, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Light Sadism, Macro/Micro, Masturbation, Mental Instability, Microphilia, Mouthplay, Multi, Porn With Plot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rating May Change, Reader Is Not Chara (Undertale), Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Sans is mostly still in-character, Sassy Reader, Self-Indulgent, Slow Burn, The Author Is Very Conflicted Here, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Violence, but a little more relaxed and genuine, but reader has a mouth too, drama will be coming out your ears by the time we're done here, enjoy this self-indulgence babes, everybody is a fuckin tsundere to varying degrees, excessive puns, extremely emotional reader, including reader herself, literally everyone in the story calls reader a dumbass lmao, maybe not so light sadism too, never thought I'd be writing anything like this but here we are, reader's got a ton of personality, rip guys lmao, so much fuckin drama, well duh it's underfell sans, what with not having to worry about a kid murdering everyone he loves, won't be porn yet but will get there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2019-09-06 15:54:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 39,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16835797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uog101/pseuds/uog101
Summary: You just wanted to get a Sansy bitty. He was funny and calm and low-maintenance. Perfect for you. But in the course of less than 24 hours, you went from no bitties to two. And the surprise one is angry. So, so angry.





	1. Day Goes Smoothly

**Author's Note:**

> Didn't expect to end up writing this sorta thing, but here we are. I know it's fashionably late for the Bittybones bandwagon, but what the hell, Deltarune is sparking an Undertale interest revival and Bittybones is hella fun. Well, here ya go. Enjoy my shameless reader-insert fanfiction with Bittybones and drama and porn and shit. Hallelujah.

The sun bore down on you, making you cringe and shield your eyes half-heartedly, too worn out by the heat to really give a damn. Christ, it was almost winter, why was it so damn **_hot_**? If you ever met the gods in control of the weather that were clearly attempting to spite you personally, they would not be leaving in one piece. _Fuck the sun, honestly._

Oh, whatever. You wouldn’t let even the bullshit heat dampen your mood too much. Not on today of all days.

Yes, today you were finally adopting the little guy you’d had your eyes on from the adoption center.

With a sigh, you gave up on shielding your eyes from the heat and dropped your hand to your side with a heavy _thud_ against your hip and made your way across the parking lot, settling for just squinting in displeasure before getting into your overheated car, turning it in the ignition, and letting the cold air slowly fix the hellish heat in the car. You reached out and pulled out your sunglasses and popped them on, relieved to finally give your eyes a break before glancing to the time on the car. Fuck, it was 10:57 already? Oh, well. Screw it, honestly—this was early for you, and really, they should appreciate the effort you put in just to be there before noon.

After the inside of the car finally reached a decent temperature, you wiped a bit of sweat off your forehead and began chuckling to yourself, the frustration staved away and only leaving the excitement bubbling in your chest. Then the low chuckles turned into a giddy laugh. “FINALLY!” you hollered, pumping your fist into the air, not caring that you were acting like a damn fool in the middle of the parking lot and cheering when no one was around—what was the point of caring what other people would hypothetically think, anyway? You were ecstatic and god DAMN if you weren’t gonna show it. You shifted the gears on the car, reversing till you were able to squeeze out of the parking space and safely away from the other cars, then shifting into drive and practically screeching out of the parking lot, chanting and cheering to yourself as you tore through the road towards your long-awaited destination.

Ohhh boy, today was gonna be great.

* * *

You practically threw yourself out of the car, then, staggering to a halt, you quickly backtracked, grabbing your bag and taking the keys out of the ignition before slamming the door behind you, not even bothering to lock it for once. You stopped in front of the door, taking a moment to reign yourself in and at least pretend to have composure for the time being so you could go through the proper procedure, then finally walked into the building.

“Welcome to the Central Adop—oh, it’s you.” The lady behind the counter’s expression went from typical customer service face to something resembling a smirk of amusement. “Wow, here early for the big day, I see? You’re here before noon!”

You huffed, feigning insult before your grin spread again and you made eye contact. “Yeah, yeah. He might not even be up yet at this point, huh? I just figured it was worth comin’ in earlier, ya know, no need to keep either of us waitin’.” 

The woman simply shrugged, smile not leaving face. “He’s actually been awake for about an hour now. He must’ve figured out that this was going to be the big day on his own.”

Releasing a short burst of air resembling a laugh, you shook your head. “He’s sure a smart one. Aight. So what’s left to do to get this whole thing over with?”

She bent over and pulled some papers out from under the counter, sliding them over to you. “Well, you’ve already filled out most of the paperwork and you’ve fulfilled the prerequisites. At this point, all you’ve got to do is finalize the adoption here, then, failing any unexpected mishaps, you two should be free to go home together!” Her smile was genuine and infectious.

“Oh, thank God,” you muttered, fixing your eyes on the papers in front of you and flipping through them. _Name, address, SSN, reason for adoption, signature… terms and conditions, signature… legal agreement, signature… Alternative addresses, relevant information, signature… Financial situation, signature… Christ, it’s like a never-ending babushka of confirming information._ You scowled half-heartedly to yourself but soon focused on filling out the information as quickly as you could, your pen sliding across the page in a rapid flurry.

You knew the popularity of bitties had gone down in recent years, after the initial blow-up of popularity, but here you were, adopting one of them. Initially, you hadn’t even come looking for a bitty—hell, you hadn’t even expected to adopt anything at all, only intending to spend time with the kittens and other small animals as a sort of makeshift self-care opportunity. But once you strayed from the small animals to the carefully-guarded back of the store, your curiosity took over and you asked to see the bitties.

Sure enough, even with the initial mystique and fascination worn off, they were still a sight to behold. There weren’t tons of them, but there were a few—some sweet Soft Boneses and excitable Baby Blues approached you, greeting you with interest and unadulterated joy that tugged at your heart. However, it quickly became clear to you that the Baby Blues had, erm, more energy than you could deal with long-term, and the Soft Bones, while endearing, were also so soft that you almost afraid to touch them for fear of them shattering. You met a handful of Cherries, who also tugged at your heart-strings, but after some time with them, you realized how their tendency to cry easily ended up just sending your own worry and anxiety through the roof.

You loved them all the same, but boy, your energy would certainly be sapped quickly if you were to try to take care of any of them long-term. They deserved somebody who could really take care of them, and that just wasn’t you.

Finally, you noticed a measly 3 Sansys—one who briefly made eye contact with you from where he lay before immediately rolling over and falling back asleep, one who gave a somewhat disinterested expression and simply turned back to something he was working on, and one, staring at you evenly but upon making eye contact, he arched his eyebrow (bonebrow?) a bit before standing up and giving a somewhat lazy wave, seeming friendly and laid-back. It seemed he’d been content to simply watch where he was, making no move to try to demand attention but simply sitting back and observing until you demonstrated interest in him yourself.

You headed over to him and plopped down on the ground a few feet in front of him.

“heya,” he greeted nonchalantly, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Heya,” you echoed, matching his casual attitude. Neither of you seemed to have any sort of desperate need to get the other’s attention; rather, simply being comfortable in each other’s presence as you calmly gauged each other.

A Baby Blue climbed on your lap and got your attention, and you smiled down at him, appreciating the bundle of pure joy for what he was. A couple Soft Boneses also climbed on top of you in various places, curling up and falling asleep, while the Baby Blue happily yammered on, clearly simply glad for company. You began softly stroking some of the sleeping bitties as you listened to the Baby Blue, nodding along and occasionally adding input, much to his satisfaction. The Sansy in front of you merely observed the way you interacted with them, leaning against the wall lazily. You occasionally glanced at him, hoping he didn’t think you were ignoring him, but he merely returned your gaze with a smile.

Ultimately, once the bitties had gotten used to your presence, they began dispersing one by one, until only the one in front of you was left.

“you’re sure the popular one.” The tiny skeleton’s permanent smile seemed to grow a bit. “i’m glad that you’re here to give them some attention. they’ve been pretty _bone_ ly.”

You gave a bit of a snort at the terrible pun before leaning back a bit and thinking for a moment. “Oh, come on. I thought Sansies were supposed to be funny. That wasn’t even… humerus.”

A beat passed, and the skeleton’s smirk only seemed to grow. “tibia honest, you’re right. i haven’t been able to practice my jokes when i’ve had no _body_ to listen to ‘em.”

You feigned a groan, the smile never leaving your face. “Sounds like… ah…” Shoot, you needed to think of a pun quickly! “…you’ve been… uh… you’re… uh…” Damn it. You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks in your embarrassment.

His smirk widened even more, and then the next moment he suddenly vanished from in front of you. “Wh—” And then you suddenly noticed a new weight on top of your head.

You shrieked and lurched a little instinctively, only for the bitty standing on your head to expertly balance himself on your head, hardly even slipping.

“heh. sorry about that. didn’t mean to make you jump out of your _skin_.” The mirth was clear in his voice and you didn’t have to see him to know he had a shit-eating grin on his tiny face. Dumb skeleton.

“Oh, I _seeee_.” Your adrenaline had kicked in from the sudden scare, and you began to retort with nervous energy, “W-well, th-that was pretty brainless of you then!” Another beat passed and you hoped that your dumb spur-of-the-moment joke had its intended effect.

The tiny skeleton on your head snorted, and then next thing you knew, the weight was gone from your head and the skeleton was on your lap, one hand extended. “call me sansy. or sans. or whatever floats your boat. just don’t call me spineless.” The shit-eating grin had eased up, instead donning a more casual smirk.

While initially caught off guard, the pun at the end made you fume silently and look away from him, huffing a little as the embarrassment wouldn’t leave your cheeks. Rather than return the handshake or give your name, you muttered under your breath, “Numbskull…”

After that, despite your embarrassment and inability to keep up with the tiny guy’s wit, you found yourself ceaselessly entertained by his dumb antics and dumb jokes. Sure they were terrible but _damn_ if he wasn’t fast. You ended up coming back the next day, then later that week, then a couple times the next week, and over time, the conversations became less embarrassing as topics changed to just talking about your day, or the type of food he got today, or shockingly, theories and mental exercises and mathematical proofs that you never would’ve guessed would’ve come out of the puny guy. Christ, was he a cute, funny bitty, or a super-genius trapped in a few inches? He was the size of your palm!

And now, here you were. Eagerly finishing the adoption papers, excited to bring home the tiny skeleton who had become, over the course of a month or two, one of your best friends in the world. And the dumb guy was the size of your palm.

“Haaaaaa! FINALLY.” You slammed your hand down on the paper and slid it to the woman. “All filled out! Anything else?!” you practically demanded.

The woman arched a brow and smirked. “Oh, no, that should be good. I just need to file these away, and then I’ll bring your little bitty bones out for you. Now, just wait a second, I’ll be back soon.” She disappeared into the door behind the counter, leaving you tapping your pen impatiently on the counter for a few minutes. You checked the clock on the wall multiple times, the antsy feeling only building up.

Finally, the woman returned through the door, carrying a box that she sat on the table. Immediately you lifted the lid off, only for the tiny skeleton to teleport in front of you on the counter, leaning against you and turning to look up at you, practically beaming. Your heart softening at the change in demeanor from his usual attitude, you tenderly cupped your hands around him and brought him to the crook of your neck, cradling him with all the love you could convey to him.

“You’re coming home with me today, sweetheart,” you told him softly, a gentleness in your tone that made the little guy stir a bit.

“known that for days. you’re awful at keeping secrets. you could never tell a _fibia_.” Despite his retort, you could _feel_ his elated smile as he rubbed his tiny head against you from within your palm.

“Oh, shut up,” you admonished without any force behind it, still smiling, “Don’t ruin the moment.”

“heh. no _body_ can stop me from getting under your _skin_.”

“Shut UP!” you cried, then turned to the woman behind the counter.

“Take the box with you,” she said simply, pushing the vacated box towards you before you’d even opened your mouth. “I’m sure you won’t need it to keep that little guy with you, but it’s good to have just in case you’re driving and worried about him flying off and getting hurt or anything.”

Though you were going to protest, her reasoning made you reconsider, thinking about the padding within the box especially designed to accommodate the fragility of the tiny skeleton. “Alright,” you finally agreed, stuffing the box and lid under your free arm as you continued to cradle the cutie to your neck. “Well… I’ll be seeing you,” you said finally, unable to stop beaming as you turned to her. Your smile was infectious and she giggled and waved as you and your bitty stepped out of the door and headed back towards your car.

The moment you were outside the center, you began squealing, lifting the Sansy to your cheek and rubbing him against your face as you briskly approached your car. “Finallyyyyyyyyy!~ I’msohappySanswe’regoinghomeandyoudon’thavetobehereanymore!”

He squirmed a bit, grimacing a little as he attempted to push your face away, making a noise akin to a wheeze at your tight hold. “yeah, me too kid, e-easssy there…” You lightened your hold on him but held him in front of your face as you beamed down at him; Sans softened at the expression, unable to find a real desire to rebuke you for your rough handling. “let’s… go home.”

Your smile was so bright that the corners of your eyes almost seemed to well up with tears. “Yeah… home. We’re going home.”

* * *

“is the sun always this bright?” he sighed in askance, flopping in front of the car’s AC.

“Hey hey hey, that’s not a safe place to be Sansy, you’re seriously gonna fall.”

“no need to get so _heated_ with me.”

With a scowl, you nabbed the bitty from his precarious perch and dumbed him on your shoulder. “Not now, dummy, I’m DRIVING, let me FOCUS, we’re almost home…”

“’k.” He lazily made himself a pillow out of your shirt and held on in a haphazard manner that would almost certainly be a guarantee to go flying if it weren’t Sans, the dumb fuck with teleporting abilities and way more balance and skill than his bouts of laziness let on.

The next few minutes were relatively silent until you pulled into the parking lot and parked. “We’re here! Now let’s get inside before we boil to death.”

Lugging your bag, the box, and the tiny skeleton to your apartment door, you threw the door open, proudly displaying it to your new companion and housemate. “Ta-daaa!~ Welcome home, lil’ bitty-bones.”

Sans observed the layout of the apartment from his perch on your shoulder, then teleported to the couch where he immediately flopped down on the pillows.

“Sans, oh my god… I haven’t even shown you around yet!”

“heh. can’t help it. i’m a lazybones, you know.”

You just sighed in exasperation and plucked him off the pillow by his hoodie, dangling him in front of your face. He only continued grinning easily at your stern expression, lifting his hands in a nonchalant shrug. “Come on, lazybones, I’ve still gotta show you around, and then you can lay around all you want.”

“deal.”

What followed was a series of you holding your hand out with the lazy bitty draped over your fingers as you showed off the living room, then the kitchen, then the bathrooms, and finally your bedroom, where in each room the tiny skeleton would manage to find something to crack a dumb joke about. You showed off some of the bitty things you’d got for him, even earning you some earnest approval at various things instead of another wisecrack.

After all was said and done, the two of you settled down on the couch, Sans relaxing on your thigh as you watched cheesy movies together. On occasion you’d remark on some part of the show, and he’d drawl out an offhanded joke, leaving both of you in a back-and-forth joke fest. After the sun set, your eyes were heavy, and you tiredly scooped up the skeleton on your lap, holding him in front of you. “’m tired. I’m ready for bed… how about you? You can sleep in the bitty house, or with me, if you’d like…”

He gave you a peaceful smile. “with you is fine.” You returned the smile, secretly feeling a little touched, before tiredly heading to your room, changing into pajamas (as the tiny skeleton preoccupied himself with the corners of the room), then climbing into bed, setting him on the pillow beside yours.

“Night, Sansy…” you murmured, curling up and getting comfortable under the blankets with a smile on your face.

“night night, kiddo,” Sans responded, contentedly watching as you closed your eyes, then gradually following suit.

The air was peaceful, for a time. The only sounds were your breathing and the occasional shifting on the mattress. Even those sounds began to die down, sleep beginning to overtake you, when…

**_SHRIIIIEEEEEEKKK!_** An inhuman yowl echoed through the air, making you jump a bit in bed. Sans ended up bouncing in the air briefly from the weight of it. It was silent again for a moment, though you laid in bed with wide eyes, until another sound came—some sort of harsh clamoring coming from some distant, hard-to-place location.

“What the hellllllllll,” you hissed under your breath, draping an arm over your forehead and attempting to cover your head with the blankets, not that it’d actually muffle the sound much.

“does that happen often?” you heard the skeleton’s voice say, a couple inches from your ear.

“Nnnoooooo,” you managed to groan out, teetering on a whine. Further pounding and muffled shrieking reverberated through the air. The thudding was heavy enough that you were able to place its location as above you—the roof. “What in the helllllllll…”

The noises muffled slightly, though continuing in its persistency, as you lay in bed, squinting in frustration and exasperation at the ceiling in the dead of night. Then something began tugging at your mind, and you stiffened as your mind slowly reasoned through what was happening. “Wait a second…” Then like a textbook had been slammed over your head, your body jerked and you bolted upright with wild eyes, practically hurtling yourself out of bed. “ **THE CAT!!!** ” you nearly shrieked, scrambling clumsily in the dark in your dizzy, hyper-alert state for shoes and a jacket.

In moments as you vaulted upright and began sprinting towards the door, a soft weight appeared leaning against your head. “what’s going on?” Sans’s voice solemnly brushed against your ear.

“Th-there’s this cat!” you half-explained in a rush, hurtling open the front door and hastily whipping your head around. “A stray! He must—he must be in trouble!” Visions of the sweet orange cat being swooped down on by a hawk or a large owl and desperately fighting against it only to be ultimately dragged away to his demise flashed through your head as you jerked your head towards the staircase heading upwards and quickly vaulted towards it, racing up the stairs. You managed to have the wits about you to keep a hand around your skelly to keep him from falling, not that he necessarily _needed_ it—it was a nice gesture nonetheless. You bolted up the final stretch and immediately spotted the cat on the roof, fur spiked up on its back in a defensive position. No hawk or owl in sight, thankfully, but you didn’t feel too relieved, seeing a flash of something on the ground beside the cat, clearly attacking it.

“HEYHEYHEYHEYHEY!” you sprinted over, grabbing the cat from under its belly and lifting it to safety, the cat still hissing at the thing that was attacking it. You felt one of the cat’s claws digging into your thigh, and you gasped and winced in pain, but set that aside to focus on the chaos in front of you, knowing it was an accident on the cat’s part. Over the furry body of the cat beginning to surrender to your hold, you locked eyes with a clearly roughed-up, clearly aggressive, red-eyed bitty. The skeleton looked shocked briefly as he locked eyes with you, but his face quickly scrunched up in rage as he turned heel and began booking it away from you, clearly about to hurl himself over the side of the roof. “AAAHH! HEY, GET BACK HERE! S- **SANS!!!** ”

Practically before his name had left your mouth, he appeared on the ground in front of you, back to you, a hand extended and a bit of a blue light emanating from his skull; at the same time, the bitty that had begun to leap visibly arced in the air before landing heavily on the ground again. “sorry, pal,” he said, dragging his hand back and the skeleton sliding back in unison, “can’t let you get away with _roof_ ing things up.” It was a horrible stretch of a pun, but in the moment, the line still managed to have a shocking amount of weight behind it as the other bitty furiously struggled against his magic, managing to slow his sliding towards him.

You watched the impressive scene for a split second—feeling flattered on some level that Sans knew what you needed before you even asked—before quickly snapping back to attention, dashing to the side of the roof and setting the cat down on a high enough ledge that he couldn’t be easily reached. You processed the cat leaving your arms and standing up on the ledge before quickly returning your attention to Sans and the other bitty. It was apparent that the other bitty was about to try turning the tables on your bitty as he reeled back, only to be forcibly yanked away by your hand gripping him. He still struggled furiously, but the brief moment of catching him off guard again was enough to stretch the already magically-restrained bitty in your hand as you kneeled on the ground, forcibly pinning his hands over his head with your free hand and pinning his legs with your thumb. He resisted, attempting to lash out and bite at your hands, but was clearly no match against the combined strength of both Sans’s magic and your much-larger hands, and he instead settled for shuddering furiously and glaring viciously up at you, teeth bared. You managed to notice now in this brief moment the crack running across the side of his skull and his raggedy, partially shredded clothes.

Sans returned his hand to his pocket, blue eye dimming as he saw you were in control of the situation, before strolling up beside your legs, then suddenly reappearing on your shoulder, gripping the back of your neck lightly for balance. You watched in your periphery, not ready to risk looking away from the tiny, enraged skeleton.

The seconds crept by, and you released a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding, before finally daring to glance at the skeleton on your shoulder. He returned your gaze, staring up at you before giving a shrug. Finally, the two of you returned your gazes to the enraged bitty, practically snarling in your hands.

Oh, no.

So much for your day going smoothly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good god, the fact that not only is this the first thing I'm posting on my AO3 account, but ALSO it's basically the best thing I've written in literal /years/, is depressing as hell. Oh well. I knew I'd be writing Macro/Micro shit on here at some point, just didn't expect it to be this. 
> 
> Well, I hope you enjoyed this first chapter. I've got ideas for the first few chapters so uh no worries in that regard, but /later/ (not now) I'll probably run low, at which point I'll add questions. 
> 
> Feel free to leave kudos or comments or subscribe or whatever. Or don't. But I mean, it'd be cool to see if somebody actually gives a damn about my silly wish-fulfillment baby here. 
> 
> Also, I'll probably briefly sorta explain the flavor-text writing in future chapters. 
> 
> Expect the next chapter soon, as this is hardly half of what I've got on my mind for this shit. 
> 
> GG out.


	2. Longest Night of Your Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You bring the angry bitty home. He does not like it one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shiiiiitttt lmaooooo! It's hardly been 24 hours and y'all have already reached over 300 hits and 60 kudos??? I was thrilled just to see it reach 6 lmao... 20 made me ecstatic... Y'all. This is way more of an audience than I ever expected. Thanks???? 
> 
> Also... although I've been desperately trying to avoid using it, I used (y/n) for the first time here. If you'd like to be spared that, then if you're on Chrome, there's this lovely extension called InteractiveFics you might wanna look into. Idk if the link will work but here? https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/interactivefics/pcpjpdomcbnlkbghmchnjgeejpdlonli 
> 
> Enjoy the new chapter, y'all. Hope it doesn't disappoint you eager guys.
> 
> Edit: God DAMN it lmao I didn't think about MY having InteractiveFics on would mess with the (y/n) I'd had written while uploading... asdfhakdj... fixed, y'all

Thank god that after a long day full of emotions, you were able to lay down and get a good night’s sleep.

Ha. Good one.

You ignored the stinging in your leg where the cat had gotten you and focused your unforgiving glare on the bitty in your hand.

“What are you doing here.” The words that left your mouth were more of a statement than a question as you loomed over him with what can best be described as a dead-pan expression—irritation carefully reigning itself in, prioritizing getting shit done over taking out your anger.

The red-themed bitty made an inhuman growl-like noise through his pointed teeth, then pointedly turned his head away.

“Hey. Come on. You gotta work with me here. I didn’t get woken up in the middle of the god-damned night just to deal with this shit.”

He remained silent.

“You’re way too aggressive to be a Cherry. You look like one, though. Eegh… wait. Are you…? God, it’s on the tip of my tongue…”

“an edgy?” Sans offered nonchalantly, pretending to admire his nonexistent nails.

“An _Edgy_! Thaaat sounds right. Didn’t those, uh… practically… disappear…?” You didn’t voice this, but you recalled the brief popularity of Edgies dying off as their more vicious tendencies spooked off the majority of the population. You hardly even remembered what they looked like at this point, but you supposed this bitty looked similar enough. You felt yourself soften a bit, sympathy beginning to gnaw at you. _Jeez, if this guy’s really an Edgy, he’s gotta have been through some **shit** to get to this point… Has he been on his own for this long…? And that crack in his skull there… _You gazed down at him, genuine concern beginning to creep into the edges of your expression.

Then the skeleton reeled back in your hand and spat magical red spittle onto your cheek.

 _Neeeeever mind_. Your left eye twitched as you felt the sensation of the gross-ass substance resting on your cheek, resisting the urge to release the stupid skeleton in favor of furiously wiping off your cheek. Instead, your fingers tightened _ever-so-slightly_ over his appendages, though you remained somewhat controlled, feeling marginally gratified as he seemed to wince a little. You leaned over the skeleton in your hands a bit, a fire in your eyes. “Watch it, you piece of shit, and answer me. English, fucker. _Do you speak it_?” You heard a sigh from your side, and felt Sans’s weight leaning closer to your cheek, then the feather-light sensation of his phalanges wiping the spit off your cheek. A harsh sigh escaped you and you squeezed your eyes shut. You felt yourself calm down slightly. “…Thank you, Sans,” you said finally, relaxing somewhat. You slowly opened your eyes and side-eyed him as he wiped the red fluid off on his coat. _Gross._ You’d have to make it up to him later.

“heh. no problem.” He then began strolling down your arm from your shoulder, causing you to stiffen and anxiously pray you were holding still enough for him. Shockingly enough, he managed to reach your wrist as you struggled to maintain balance. Sans then leaned over the other skeleton, teeth bared almost condescendingly. “what’s the problem here, pal? not often one of you stays quiet for so long. something wrong, buddy? _cat got your tongue_?”

“you blue-ass bastard, if you don’t shut up within the next ten seconds i will **rip out your spine and feed it to you. Your dust will coat the ground like the filth you are.** ” The jarring transition mid-sentence from a lazy drawl resembling Sans’s, albeit gruffer, to the snapping, deliberately punctuated rage caught you wildly off-guard.

“wow, okay.” Sans blinked out of existence on your hand and reappeared on your shoulder.

You could feel a headache starting to form, but at least this was progress. Kind of.

“Allllllrighty then.” You moved to stand up, freezing when your thigh throbbed in protest. Thankfully you managed to keep the outward expression of your pain to a minimum, the corner of your mouth twitching to a grimace for a split second, but otherwise, your face remained stoic as you straightened up completely. “Right. Right, right. Let’s go,” you muttered, fixing your eyes on the (presumably) Edgy as you turned and began heading in the direction you came. You dared to glance to the side, making eye contact with the cat’s lovely green eyes in the dark as he stared at you. You smiled at him a bit, then returned your attention to the red bitty in your hands. _I’ll have to see if I get a chance to break away from this mess without this guy destroying anything and give the poor kitty a treat or something_ , you mused to yourself.

“hey hey hey HEY. where the FUCK do you think you’re taking me?” the skeleton hissed, struggling beginning anew.

“My apartment, hon.” You smirked.

“ _EXCUSE_ ME? WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! FUCKING **_PUT ME DOWN!_** ”

“How about… no.”

As Red violently thrashed and hissed in your hands like a wet cat, you noted in your peripheral vision how Sansy merely watched from your shoulder, not questioning your actions out loud. You appreciated it. Maybe it was just him not wanting to bother getting involved… but you’d like to think it was because he trusted you.

You reached the bottom of the stairs and stood in front of the door of your apartment. Thankfully, you hadn’t locked it when you ran out, so it wouldn’t be difficult to get back in, if your hands were free anyway. Completely ignoring the furious bitty in your hands, you turned to your shoulder. “Sans, do you think you could help open the door? It’s unlocked. It’s okay if it’s too big for you, though.”

“nah, i’ve got it.”

He popped into existence on the end of the handle, gripping it for support as it began to fall before dangling from the end of it.

“Oh my god thank you so much,” you said in a breathless rush, pushing the door open with a leg before walking in as he reappeared on your shoulder. The door closed with a click behind you.

“ ** _WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLLL!_** ” You finally returned your attention to the red one.

“God, can you shut up for two minutes? You realize people need to sleep, right? You wouldn’t even _be_ in this situation if you weren’t so horrifically loud.”

It seemed the Edgy had nothing to say to that, so he just looked away and grumbled to himself.

You stepped into your bedroom, finally released him, then flipped on the lights. Immediately, he blipped out of existence, reappearing on your bed. Red-tinted sweat was accumulating on his slightly-cracked skull, and his eye-lights had vanished as he backed away from you. “why did you bring me here.”

A sigh escaped your lips, and Sansy shifted on your shoulder. “First of all… because I didn’t want you making any more noise outside and waking up my neighbors. Second of all… because it’s very, very odd to see a bitty out alone.” You pulled a chair out from under your desk, moving some junk you’d thrown on it to your desk before turning it towards the bed and sitting down. You lifted your hand to your shoulder, letting Sansy step onto it before lowering him to the desk beside you as you spoke. “Listen. Are you lost? Do you have a home? Are you with somebody?”

The sweat on his forehead only seemed to increase. His eye-sockets remained lightless. “look. if you let me go right now, we’ll pretend none of this ever happened. you’ll never see me again, and you’ll never get woken up by me again either. _and_ , you won’t have to worry about the _consequences_ of **_bringing me here_** ,” he added at the end, voice dipping into a growl… and yet, you got the feeling that the threat wasn’t really something he planned to act on. Perhaps the way the sweat was seeming to freely drip from his head now gave you that feeling, or maybe it was the fact that even his growl sounded shakier than before.

Ultimately, it just sounded like he was putting on a tough act in hopes of you freeing him.

…You were full of sympathy.

You rubbed at your cheek a bit where he spat, hoping to get rid of any remaining traces. “Seriously, man, I’m not gonna hurt you. Hell, I don’t even intend to keep you here. I just wanna know what you’re doing here. Surely you’ve got _someone_.” You watched his face carefully. The only response was slightly more gritted teeth and looking down ever-so-slightly. No human, then… “Another Bitty? …A Papyrus? … _Anyone_?”

No response.

“…” You swallowed, trying to stave off the dry feeling in your throat. “…Would… you… _like_ anything? Food? I’ve got some magical bitty-sized food if you want any…”

“just let me go.” His tone was still hard, but his voice was much softer now.

“…I… can’t do that.” He looked up at you again, eye-lights beginning to reappear as he glared.

“and why not.”

“You know why.”

“…”

He looked away. It was silent for a few moments. Then you sighed.

“Work with me here. How long have you been alone? …Where are you from?”

It was silent for a bit longer. Then, still looking away, he answered softly, but solemnly, “Nunya Dam.”

You distantly processed Sans’s soft huff of a laugh/sigh, but you didn’t fully consider the implications. Instead, your eyebrows rose. “Nunya Dam?” you repeated. You glanced aside, trying to run through what that could possibly mean. Did you know of any dams called Nunya? How far away would it have to be from here? How’d he get here then, anyway? Also, why was he at a dam? Was there maybe a Nunya Dam Adoption Center of some sort, maybe close to the titular aquifer—

The red bitty merely bared his teeth in a sneer. “nunya **_damn business,_** you **_motherfucking piece of shit_** , now **_let me go!!!_** ”

God DAMN it you walked right into that one. God damn it. Fuck.

Though, your frustration and embarrassment aside… you mused it was good to know that this Sans-type variant still had the affinity for puns that your Sansy did. _Progress. Yeah. Think on the positive side._

You sighed _heavily_ , hearing your Sans snicker ever-so-softly behind you at your expense. “Shuuuuush, shush. No need to rub it in.” Despite that, a smile tugged at your face.

Somehow the red bitty seemed caught off-guard by both of your underwhelming reactions. Almost… embarrassed? Wait, was were his cheeks tinted red? Oh my god, that was adorable. Was he embarrassed at your guys’ amusement? Flustered, even? Oh my god!

You chuckled a bit under your breath, startling him. You leaned forward, much more relaxed now, and he took another step back, seeming marginally unnerved in a different light now. “Aight, aight. I won’t bug ya any further. Keep your secrets, sweetheart. That said… I’ll be keeping you here at least for the time being. Now, I’m gonna go make a call real quick and see if we can end this little altercation as soon as possible, for _both_ our sakes. Uhhh, Sans? Can you make sure _nothing happens_ while I’m gone?” you hinted heavily.

“yeah, yeah, whatever.” He lazily draped himself over a book you’d moved to your desk.

You glared. “ _SANS_!”

“i said i’m _on_ it. just go.” His hand waved you away as he sluggishly turned his head towards you with a smirk.

You squinted at him in faux distrust. “You’re going to be the death of me, I swear.” Then you sighed and shook your head, strolling to the door and snagging your phone off the desk as you carefully closed the door behind you.

You waited for a moment by the door, carefully listening for any suspicious sounds. When several seconds crept by in complete and utter silence, you released a bit of air almost inaudibly, then crept to the kitchen. You flicked your phone on, then winced as the light burned your eyes in the relative darkness. You shielded your eyes before feeling up and down the wall for the light switch, still hissing when you flipped it and the light hit you. You held your head for a moment as your eyes adjusted, then returned your gaze to the phone.

Central Adoption Center was saved as a contact on your phone, since, well, you _had_ gone there so often, and it did make it easier to let them know you were coming or asking a question on days when you couldn’t drop by. Your thumb tapped the contact, then their phone number. You lifted the phone to your ear, then after a couple rings, you heard a click. You took a deep breath.

“Hi—”

“Hello, this is the Central Adoption Center, our business hours are 9 AM to 10:30 PM on weekdays and 11 AM to 9:30 PM on weekends. If you have any questions or wish to adopt, please contact us within these hours. If this is a bitty-related emergency, you can contact the Bitty Services Agency or Mama Cry directly. If you would like us to get back to you when we are within working hours, please leave a message after the tone. Thank you for calling Central Adoption Center, and we hope you have a wonderful day!”

Your headache was turning into a full-blown migraine as you pinched the bridge of your nose, listening to the message. You strained to listen down the hall as the message prattled on, hearing nothing from your room despite your efforts. _God damn it, I’ve never tried to contact them so late so I didn’t know…_ Hearing the word “emergency”, you paused, pondering it as you glanced down the hall. _Well… Nothing too bad has happened so far. Sure, he’s been irritable, but it seems like he’s calmed down, and I’m not hearing anything at the moment… I guess this isn’t really anything worth contacting them for, not yet anyway._ Sure, it was less than ideal that this guy was on his own, but that could be resolved in the morning.

As the recorded woman’s voice reached the end of her message, you nodded to yourself and rubbed at your head with your free hand. A long beep resounded from the phone. “Hi, it’s (y/n)… This isn’t an emergency or anything, but uh… something came up. Oh, and I’m not returning Sans so don’t worry about that!” you rushed to add, hoping they wouldn’t get the wrong idea. “Uhhh… Basically… a bitty showed up at my apartment… I think he’s an Edgy, but I’m not sure… He won’t tell me if he’s with anyone or if anyone’s looking for him. Anyways… nothing _horrible_ has happened yet… but uh… I mean, he’s certainly not happy. I guess I’ll hold onto him for now, but uhh, if you could call me back in the morning, I’d appreciate it… k, thanks, bye.”

You hung up and leaned against the counter, gripping your head and willing the headache to go away. Finally, you exhaled and stood up again, eying the clock on the microwave as you began your trek back to your room. _12:36… god damn it, we were supposed to be asleep forever ago… Oh, well… hopefully we’ll get to sleep quickly so we can resolve this mess and get it over with…_

Your thoughts came to a screeching halt as you opened the door and froze in your tracks. Sans lay on your bed, looking serene, in the spot the red bitty had been. One of your pillows and some of your junk was tossed haphazardly to the floor. And the red bitty was nowhere in sight.

“…Sans.”

Sans cracked an eye open, then gave a lazy wave. “hey.”

“Don’t you ‘hey’ me. Where’d he go!”

He idly lifted his hand and pointed to the far side of your dresser. You quickly walked around the dresser, seeing the box from the adoption center neatly tucked beside it. Your face dropped. “…Why is he in the box.”

“everything i said to him went _right through_ his _head_. nothing i did got through his _skull_. he wouldn’t stop tryin’ to get out. so i figured the box was the right place for him.”

God, you trusted Sans, but this was _not_ doing wonders for your mental stability. And your headache persisted. “Oh, for fuck’s sake…” _Deep breaths. Deep breaths._ You exhaled. Again. “…Alright. Thank you, Sans. I appreciate it.”

“no prob.” He gave you a lazy wink from his perch and finger-gunned.

You nodded and sighed, then crouched on the ground beside the box. “Llllisten. I know you can hear me. It turns out that we can’t do anything till morning. So. I have to keep you here until morning. Alright? I don’t wanna keep you captive here, but I don’t really have any other choice right now.” You paused. Silence. “If I can trust that you’ll be good, I’m perfectly willing to take you out of the box. But if you’re difficult or try to escape, then I’ll have to put you back in. Do you understand?” Silence. “ _…Do you understand?_ ”

More silence. You sighed and stood up, wincing a bit as you remembered the pain in your thigh. Damn, you forgot about that. “Well, fine then,” you said nonchalantly, turning and beginning to slowly walk back towards the bed, holding out your hand which Sans wordlessly teleported onto. “You can stay in that box all night, if you want. No skin off my back.” Your face morphed into a shark-like grin as both you and Sans started quietly cracking up. _Perfect set-up. Perfect delivery._ You tried to compose yourself and keep a straight face. “See you in the mornin’, bitty.”

“w-wait.” You paused as you heard the Sans-like, gruff voice from behind you. “i… won’t try to escape.” He sounded surprisingly genuine.

“…You won’t?” A pleased smile crossed your face. “Well… if you’re sure!” Cheerfully, you lifted the lid off the box.

Immediately, he disappeared from the box and reappeared with his full body laying against on the hand that was lifting the lid, biting down on your middle finger _hard_ , and instantly teleporting away, all in the course of a second. “ **AUGH!** ” you howled, gritting your teeth and instinctively shoving the finger in your mouth. You tasted blood. You glared, looking around the room for the sorry son of a bitch, only to catch glimpse of him walking into the bitty-sized house without glancing your way and slamming the door behind him. “ **FUCKER!!!** ”

You stormed closer to the house, stopping a few feet away from it before stopping, seething with fury, and clenching your eyes shut. You inhaled deeply, feeling Sans disappear from your hand and reappear on your shoulder, gently stroking your cheek. “there, there… take it easy.”

You forcefully exhaled, your muscles loosening all at once. You reopened your eyes, expression settling into a mere stern expression rather than frothing rage directed at the bitty house. “I _mean_ it,” you said coldly, crossing your arms over each other even though he in all likelihood couldn’t see it. “Cause any trouble tonight and you WILL be going back in the box.” You huffed a little before spinning around and muttering incoherently under your breath, heading towards your bathroom (as opposed to the “guest” one in the hall).

Kneeling, you pulled open a cabinet door, pulling out a box of band-aids. Then you paused and turned to Sansy. “You don’t think that he’s got rabies or something, do you?”

Sans’s expression morphed from surprise to chuckling wildly in a split second. “monsters, _don’t get rabies_.”

You huffed a little defensively. “Okay, but what about like, other diseases, though? Who knows how long he’s been on the streets for, he could’ve picked up all sorts of things! Bacteria and shit!”

Still chuckling, he shook his head in amusement. “kid, as far as i know, the only illnesses that monsters carry are soul-based ones. and not transmittable by a bite.”

“Hmph… it’s a fair question, damn it…” Grumbling, you decided against the Neosporin and just wrapped the band-aid around your finger. Then you paused, glancing at your thigh. Without getting up, you carefully gripped Sans around the waist and set him on the counter, and ignoring his questioning look, you turned away and began slowly dragging off your pajama pants.

“uhhh, k-kid, what’re you—” His voice hitched mid-sentence as you pulled it down far enough to reveal the damage to your thigh. “…oh.”

Wincing, you struggled to pull them off the rest of the way before draping out once you finally freed yourself from them. You slumped on the floor, staring at the bulging, inch-sized, blue-and-purple tinted mark on your mid-thigh. Yikes, no _wonder_ it’d hurt so much.

“now, i may not be too familiar with human physiology, but i’d venture a guess that that’s not normal.”

“Yyyyyup.” You didn’t pull your eyes away from the incision, softly trailing your finger on it and wincing when it did indeed hurt a fair deal. Sensitive. _Still, despite it being a bubble like that, it’s just a tiny cut,_ you mused, tracing your finger further around it to figure out where the pain ended. _It was just a straight cut in… no long gash on the outside or anything. Still, it’s pretty painful… maybe it cut deep? Straight in a good ways, huh…_

“how did _that_ happen?” The concern was legitimately audible in his voice, which you appreciated, but you shook your head, waving him off.

“Just happened when I was picked up the cat,” you muttered dismissively. Eyes not straying from the cut, you reached into the drawer and pulled out the Neosporin, gently squeezing the tube and letting it cover at least the hole the claw had made. You then dug through the box for a larger band-aid and pulled out a large circular one, which you promptly tore the covering from and carefully smoothed it out on the mark. You stood, heaving another sigh and hearing every joint in your damn body crack as you did so. Even without looking at him, you knew he was staring at you wide-eyed with apprehension. You avoided looking his way and simply held your hand out, which he slowly climbed onto, and then headed out of the bathroom, abandoning your pajama pants—you didn’t want to try putting them on again over the cut and anyway it was probably best to have as little weight on it while you slept as possible—and you flicked the lights of the bathroom off before tiredly returning to bed, slumping on the surface as Sans teleported onto the other pillow. You crawled under the blankets, being mindful of your leg as you slid it under the sheets, then rubbing at your head before draping out across the bed. “Well… take two, I guess,” you muttered wearily. You turned your head and met Sans’s gaze. “Goodnight, Sansy…”

“right… ’night…”

You glanced towards the bitty-house warily one more time before shutting your eyes, willing sleep to come quickly.

_If any sort of higher being exists in this hellhole of a universe, then for the love of all that is holy, let me SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT._

* * *

Sans watched as you drifted off to sleep, carefully glancing at the clock on the dresser. It took you about 20 minutes to fall asleep, and a little over a half hour for your breathing to relax to a point where he felt you wouldn’t wake up at the slightest disturbance. Thankfully, not a peep came from the bitty-sized house on your desk; though he squinted in suspicion at it, he figured that if the other bitty hadn’t made a move in almost 45 minutes, he probably wasn’t going to. Then again, that might be what he _wanted_ him to think. Still, he figured there was only so much the red one could do in such a meager amount of time.

Sansy stood up silently; then, after brushing himself off, he took a shortcut that ended up placing him under the blankets down by your knees. _Right… this should do._ Moving carefully, he strolled between your legs, trying to ignore the somewhat questionable place he was in, before pausing between your thighs at about the place he remembered the injury being. _Now… be careful._

Channeling every ounce of control within him, he leaped up to on top of your leg, then before landing hard on your flesh, his magic flowed from his eye and he managed to suspend himself a mere inch above your thigh. He may not know what the odd gooey substance you put on your leg was, but it _definitely_ couldn’t heal you as fast as he could. Well, assuming his magic cooperated anyway. _It’s been a while since I’ve used healing magic…_ Sweat was already starting to accumulate on his head from the exertion of the shortcut and most importantly, suspending himself for so long. He had to act quickly.

Carefully, he reached out to touch the outer rim of the bandage you’d placed over the injury. When you didn’t react, he slowly inched his hand towards the middle. You shifted in your sleep, making a grunt of displeasure. Once you settled again, he focused his magic on healing you through the fabric.

He felt the bulge die down under the bandage. He nodded to himself silently. Once it seemed like the inflammation was almost nonexistent, he moved himself to the space between your thighs again and dropped down. He panted from the exertion.

Thankfully, it seemed like it’d been worth the effort—your breathing became more relaxed in your sleep.

Finally, he looked up again, then took yet another shortcut, this time closer to the edge of the blankets. He was going to simply crawl out when your hand, splayed out not too far away, caught his eye. He hesitated, then figured he’d already done this much—might as well finish the job. Honestly, Edgies pissed him off to no end. It was only right that he clean up the other bitty’s mess.

Carefully, he approached your hand. He shut his eyes, realizing his supply of magic was running low—then, reluctantly, spread his jaw, exposing his blue tongue. He didn’t want to resort to this, but…

Sans leaned close and snaked his tongue up the tip of your finger. In your sleep, you shivered a little, but other than that, remained still. Hesitantly, his tongue crept further, before finding the gashes in your middle finger. He paused for a moment longer, then softly, ever-so-carefully, began running his tongue around your finger.

You stirred in your sleep, a contented noise passing your lips. It was Sans’s turn to shiver.

Finally, he felt only the slightest traces of cut under his tongue, and he pulled away hastily, tongue snapping back into his mouth as he began panting for an entirely different reason. He held a hand to his face, willing the blue to leave his cheeks, not that his magic was as cooperative as he’d like.

He crawled back up the bed, returning to his spot on the pillow, then inching a bit closer to your sleeping form. He relaxed into the pillow, then closed his eyes… but only for a moment.

He sat up again and eyed the bitty-house carefully. Still nothing, but… soft noises of some sort could be heard from it.

Sans would have to remain vigilant tonight. Unfortunately.

With a sigh, he accepted his role as sentry and rested his head on his hand.

He was not going to get a wink of sleep tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok ok ok. Look I wasn't PLANNING on going there yet but... you know what... Edgy really writes himself, and Sans is the perfect reaction. 
> 
> Anyways... It was actually very hard to get past the first few lines for this chapter at first. I kept getting stuck on this part and couldn't bring myself to delete it. So... here's a gift for you, an alternate beginning to this chapter:
> 
> Thank god that after a long day full of emotions, you were able to lay down and get a good night’s sleep. 
> 
> Ha. Good one. 
> 
> “What are you doing here.” The words that left your mouth were more of a statement than a question as you loomed over him with what can best be described as a dead-pan expression—irritation carefully reigning itself in, prioritizing getting shit done over taking out your anger. 
> 
> “ **fucking your mom, shit lips!** ” he hissed. 
> 
> Your face dropped.
> 
> You felt yourself lose a decade off your lifespan. 
> 
> (reference to this: https://mrlinzotehcat.tumblr.com/post/179657300467/polyglotplatypus-obligatory-meme-in-response source was deleted so I had to use somebody who'd reblogged it) 
> 
> Ok. Heh. Glad you all got to experience that. 
> 
> Anyways... I'm curious why y'all appeared so quickly. If ya don't wanna leave a comment, that fine, but if you do, I'm curious: what drew you to check this story out? The title? Summary? Tags? Bittybones???
> 
> Additionally: I'm trying to think of suitable nicknames for the two of them that won't make it confusing who I'm referring to, but also not annoyingly on-the-nose (ex.: "Blue"). Any ideas? 
> 
> Anyways... Think they'll make it through the night without further incident?


	3. Bonding... Kinda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get the red guy to talk to you. He... doesn't seem pleased with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY FUCK GUYS, I COMPLETED 2 CHAPTERS WITHIN THE SAME DAY. Errr... or technically I posted the last chapter at 2 AM after writing all night, and this is before the end of the day... anyways.
> 
> Uhhh, just so you know, if you read the last chapter before the fix, I switched the name to (y/n). I neglected to realize that the extension would mess with the posting itself... heh... heheh. 
> 
> I do still suggest you get the extension, though. I dunno about y'all, but seeing "y/n" in a story kinda breaks immersion. 
> 
> Uh... shit gets serious, here. All you who were talking about how cute this was... heh... heheheh... uh... please don't run away I promise it'll get better again soon ahahahahahhahahhahaa 
> 
> Also for the record, I did not expect this chapter to go the way it did. I was not exaggerating when I said Edgy wrote himself. I expected to be in the adoption center by the end of the chapter. Shit happened before I even knew it was coming. Shit. 
> 
> Enjoy the drama, guys.

Light streamed in through the sides of the window behind your bed, though mostly obscured by the thick curtain—that was the reason you’d bought it in the first place, after all. You yawned and stretched a bit, jostling the bed slightly as your back cracked a bit before you settled again, serene. “Mmm…” You rubbed sleepily at your face. _That was the best sleep I’ve gotten in a while… Why’d I sleep so well…?_

You glanced to your side and caught a glimpse of a familiar skeleton, facing away from you, completely prone and apparently sleeping. _Heh… lazybones._ That explains it, huh—you were feeling so good because someone you loved dearly was here, close to you.

…Not that you’d say that out loud.

You yawned again widely as you slowly sat up, then began creeping over to Sans’s body. “Heeey, sleepyhead,” you whispered over his tiny body. “It’s morning. Time to get up.”

He didn’t seem to respond. You sighed a bit, shaking your head as a content smile crossed your face. “Come on, sweetheart. I know you’re a skeleton, but that’s no excuse to sleep like the dead.” Still not seeing a reaction, you huffed a bit in amusement and leaned further over his body as you reached to nudge him awake.

…And froze in place.

Now that you could see his face better, you realized his eye-sockets were open, light missing. Additionally, his head seemed to be propped up on his arm in a quite uncomfortable position.

That… was new.

Sure, sometimes his eye-lights went out when he got particularly upset, you saw that once in a while when he was still at the Center, but he didn’t seem to have any expression on his face at all—just a tight, grimace-like smile and completely void expression.

Yeah… that was unnerving. Deeply so.

You knew he wasn’t _dead_ , but you got a bad feeling nudging in your chest. A feeling like… _someone_ … was having a bad time…

You swallowed thickly. You leaned further over him, moving slowly. Your hair began to slip and hang besides the side of your face in front of him. “Sansy…?”

Almost instantaneously as your hair entered his field of vision, his eye-lights popped into existence and his gaze snapped up, seeing you hovering over him and staring down at him. Both of you froze for a moment. Then Sansy’s expression settled into his signature lazy, partially smug grin, eye sockets half-open. “heya. mornin’.”

“…Hhhey, yourself. You doin’ alright?”

Sans chuckled and stood, taking a few steps back as you straightened up again for easier conversation, lifting his hands into a shrug. “yup. just woke up early and since you were still sleepin’, i started spacing out.” He then yawned dramatically, dropping an arm and lifting the other to cover his mouth, expression still conveying his smug smirk. “that said… i’m still feelin’ bone-tired. i’m goin’ back to sleep. ’night.”

“What do you mean, _‘night’_?! It’s broad daylight! It’s like, the middle of the day!” Or at least you assumed so by the light coming in through the window.

“’night,” he repeated, lazy grin on his face as his eye-sockets shut, flopping back onto the mattress face-down.

You huffed. “ _Sans!_ ” you complained, “We’ve got things to _do_ today! Like—” You paused, scrunching your face as the feeling of urgency began tugging at your brain. You knew you had important things to do, but you didn’t currently have a job, you’d already adopted Sans, you had your bitty supplies…

Bitty supplies…

The bitty-house…

Your heart lurched to your throat as you practically hurled yourself off the bed for the second time in 24 hours and sprinted towards the bitty-house. _FUCKING **SHIT** I HAVEN’T HEARD FROM HIM ALL MORNING OH GOD OH FUCK I’M SO FUCKED I WASN’T THINKING CLEARLY I WAS JUST SO TIRED WHY DID I GO TO SLEEP—_

Your train of thought abruptly came to a screeching halt when you crouched next to the bitty-house and saw the telltale glimpse of the torn red jacket and slow movement through one of the tiny windows.

…Oh.

…

Huh.

You continued to stare through the window, hardly believing your own eyes.

… _Huh_.

You exhaled slowly, shaking your head. _Wow, okay._

You… weren’t expecting him to be honest and not try to get out. You’d hoped he would, though… still, it almost seemed to be too good to be true.

Maybe you just didn’t give the guy enough credit.

Seeing as everything surprisingly seemed to be in order, you figured it was alright for you to step out and reward that poor cat with some treats, sliding on some slippers. Yes, you had slippers, and anybody who was going to sass you about them could shove their aching feet up their ass. Carefully closing the bedroom door behind you, you crept into the kitchen, popped open a cupboard, and pulled out the cat kibble and a can. You remembered to grab your keys and simply twirled it around your fingers before locking the door behind you.

You began climbing the stairs to the roof again, brushing the hair out of your face a bit as you felt the breeze rush through you. At least the weather seemed cooler today. Upon reaching the roof, you began cooing, calling out, “Kittyyy~ KitKat~ C’mere, kittyyy! Come here!”

It took a moment, but soon you caught eyes with the cat as it appeared from somewhere behind you, making soft “murp” sounds. You pulled the bag out from under your arm and reached inside, pulling out the bowl as the cat quickly rubbed itself back and forth against your leg. You chuckled. “I know, kitty, I know, here you go.” You set out the dry kibble and promptly popped open the can of wet food. Smiling to yourself, you watched as the cat eagerly dug into the food, crouching beside him and stroking him softly. _If only I could bring you inside…_ you thought mournfully. _But no furry pets allowed…_

You began to stand up, then felt a tugging on your thigh. Blinking, you remembered the band-aid on your leg. _Wait, I didn’t put on pants… goddamn it. Ahhh, oh well. I’m on the roof. Hardly anyone could see me, anyway…_ You crouched down again and sat on the ground, sprawling your leg out on the ground as you eyed the round bandage on your leg. Tentatively, you reached out and gently brushed a finger over it. Much to your surprise, it only stung a little. Huh. You supposed it only made sense the swelling would go down overnight. Still, with how bad it hurt last night, it was shocking that the pain was down so much. Curiosity getting the better of you, you tentatively began peeling off the band-aid.

The Neosporin was still covering your skin a fair amount, but… Wow. The swelling had gone down almost completely, and though it was still spotted with some light purple and blue splotches, there were significantly _fewer_ now, and it seemed a more yellowish than you’d expect from a less-than-a-day-old injury. _…Huh._ That was certainly something.

That Neosporin was _way_ better than you gave it credit for.

You flattened the bandage again and smoothed it out, picked up the kibble bag and the empty can, then gave the cat a goodbye pat and you started for the staircase. Noticing you leaving, the cat quickly abandoned his food and trotted after you, eyes looking up at you pleadingly. “Gahhhhh…” That gaze absolutely tore at your heart-strings. “I’m sorry, KitKat, I can’t bring you inside… Bye-bye, kitty…”

You continued down the stairs, and the cat brushed up against your leg again, nearly tripping you. “Aaaaaagh…! Nooo… I can’t, I’m sorry… Goodbye…” You gave him another pet and attempted to leave again. This time, he simply sat on the staircase, watching you with a swaying tail as you descended. You met his gaze, then tore away, the guilt gnawing at you again. You’d come back and get the bowl later, but…

Sticking your keys into the door, you opened the door before carefully closing it behind you. You jogged quickly to the kitchen, shut the supplies back where the belonged, tossed the can, and turned to head back into the room.

Only to practically jump out of your skin seeing the red-themed bitty leaning against the wall on the counter. “Holyshitwhatthe _fuck_ —”

“hey there, sweet cheeks.” His devilish smirk glinted in the light. Wait, holy shit, were one of his teeth _golden?_ Why the _fuck_ did he have a gold tooth? It’d make sense for a monster who’d been on the streets a while to be missing a tooth, but why the _fuck_ would he have a gold replacement—

“ _Excuse_ me?” you asked incredulously, your mind finally catching up to the words he’d said.

The monster tilted his head to the side, eye-sockets narrowing, smile seeming to grow more dangerous. Damn it—the guy was at _most_ 6 inches tall, probably less—he was puny—pathetic—god damn it between his sharp teeth, red eyes, and cracked skull, even at just a few fucking inches tall he managed to be intimidating as _hell_.

“oh, sorry, _darlin’_ ,” he crooned, his gruff voice only making it all the more sardonic and condescending. “i guess it’s only natural that a girl like you’d be intimidated by a tough guy like me.”

You flinched slightly. “Oh, fuck off,” you snapped derisively, turning away, your pulse pounding in your ears. “You’re less than a pound and your teeth aren’t even half as sharp as some of the knives I’ve got. The fucking _cat_ looked scarier than you.”

In an instant, the bitty appeared on your clavicle, teeth bared. Acting purely on instinct, you jerked and snagged him off your chest in a fist, just barely stopping him from sinking his teeth into your shoulder. Heart racing, you stared him down in your fist, panting heavily.

“…heh. quick girl. i’m impressed.” Despite his jeering tone, you noticed a thin layer of slick red on his forehead. Sweat.

You didn’t dare look away from the bitty, but you silently hoped that Sansy would appear and help you out here.

But nobody came.

You resisted the urge to crush him in your hand and simply brought him to your face, careful not to get close enough that he could sink his teeth into your nose. “What the hell is your problem?”

“me? _my_ problem? heh. kiddo. you have **_no idea who you’re dealing with_**. besides, it’s only fair. you kept me locked up in your shitty home all damn night long. i figured i’d repay the favor.”

Practically shaking with rage, you almost bared your teeth at him. Almost. But… you couldn’t deny he had a point.

“ooo, look at you. big ol’ human’s got tiny lil’ me in her hands. whatcha gonna do? break me? crush me to dust? watch as my body disintegrates right in front of your eyes?”

Still shaking, you squeezed your eyes shut, clenching your jaw so hard you almost feared your teeth would shatter. Then, you twisted your hand and forcibly, purposefully, opened it.

He cocked his head at you, propping himself up with his hands. Then he seemed to smirk again. He vanished from your palm, and your eyes scanned the surroundings for several seconds until you found him sitting nonchalantly on the back of the couch in the living room connected to the kitchen. His legs dangled off the edge, resting his elbow on his knee and hoisting up his cheek. He grinned at you lazily, eyes half-lidded as you approached.

“sorry, darlin’,” he spoke in a lazy drawl, casually kicking his legs back and forth, “that got outta hand.” He stood up on top of the couch’s back, leaning back against the wall, shoving the hand that’d been holding up his head in his pocket and pulling the other one out, extending it towards you. Red grinned at you, turning his face away ever-so-slightly as he kept his eye-lights on you. “why don’t we call a truce, huh? why don’t we shake on it.”

You stopped in front of the couch, staring at the bitty. He wouldn’t stop grinning. The corners of his mouth were pulled a bit too high, he wasn’t meeting your gaze right in the face, and he seemed to be leering at you. The tiny skeleton reeked of insincerity.

And yet…

His bone-brow arched. As if egging you on. Daring you to reject or accept his hand.

He knew he looked insincere.

You suspected you knew what was going on here.

Slowly, you reached out your hand, eyes never straying from the bitty in front of you.

He never broke eye contact either, grin only widening.

You stopped about half a foot away from the bitty and held out your pointer finger, noticing out of the corner of your eye the telltale bandage from yesterday on your middle finger, adjacent to the very finger you were holding out.

You hesitated.

He cocked his bone-brow again, smile not breaking in the slightest as he tilted his head once more.

Finally, you connected the tip of your finger to his phalanges. His grin widened, and he gripped your fingertip, shaking it firmly, then releasing it.

“see? that wasn’t so hard, now, was it?” He shoved his hand back into his pocket, eyes half-lidded again as he grinned lazily at you.

“…Riiiiight.” You dropped your hand and crossed your arms, secretly relieved at your undamaged hand. You huffed. “So… are you gonna be cooperative now?”

He shrugged. “it depends,” he responded, still grinning lazily.

“Depends on what?”

“on what you’re askin’.”

You shut your eyes and sighed heavily, then carefully moved to sit on the couch, draping your legs across it and gazing up at the red bitty. He arched a bone-brow again, smile waning a bit but otherwise looking indifferent. You threw an arm over the back cushion closest to you, and he stared at you from about a foot away from your hand.

“Right, then.”

You picked at a string on a couch cushion, glancing over your shoulder from the couch to the hall for a moment. _It’s no surprise that Sans probably fell back asleep, but… surely, he shouldn’t be asleep for SO long. Through all this commotion?_ You sighed through your nose. _Maybe he’s lazier than I thought…_ you mused, a frown tugging at your lips. _Though… I suppose it’s good he’s not here right now. Seems like we’re getting somewhere._ You returned your attention to the skeleton.

“So…” you drawled, mimicking his nonchalant attitude, “Are you an Edgy, or not?”

He chuckled. “i sure am,” he responded, smirk widening. “but you already figured that one out on your own, didn’t ya?”

Yes, but it was nice to get some confirmation. “Right. K. So… where did you come from?”

“the street.”

“Right. But before then?”

“a dumpster.”

“…Before then?”

“the sidewalk.”

You felt irritation start to crawl up your throat, and you bit your lip, exhaling heavily. _No, no. Don’t let him get to you_. “Fine, but before all that. Going way, waaay back.”

“hmmm. well, i was but a baby-bones when i first saw sunlight—”

“AFTER THEN, DAMN IT.”

“hmmmmm.” He shrugged. “can’t say.”

“What do you mean you ‘can’t say’?”

“can’t say.”

“What do you _mean_ , ‘can’t say’?”

“i mean i can’t say.”

“You can’t say where you’re from, or you can’t say why you can’t say?”

“yeah.”

“ _Yeah_?”

“yup.” 

This would be hilarious if you weren’t getting a massive headache.

You exhaled heavily, again. “Okay, then. How about… are you with anyone? Or were you before you showed up?”

“maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“maybe.”

“…Ooookay. Have you been on your own for long? _How_ long?”

“mmmm…”

“Mmmm?”

“yeah, nah.”

“ _Hooooooo_.” You blew air out of your lips, dropping your hands onto your face. God, you were gonna have a fucking stroke at this rate. This was it. This was the day that you _fucking **died**_ because you got so pissed off your body gave out on you.

“well, if you’re done asking sans edgy here 20 questions, i think it’s only fair that i ask _you_ somethin’.”

You spread your fingers and looked at the Edgy again wearily. You were marginally uncomfortable with the way he called himself “Sans”—you knew that was _technically_ correct, in that he was a Sans variant, but aside from some superficial similarities like their interest in puns and overall attitude, him and your Sansy were really _astronomically different—_ but you brushed that aside. You debated telling him to fuck off, he only answered one question and it was one he knew you already knew the answer to. But you reasoned you really had nothing to hide, and if he crossed a line you could fuck with him right back the way he fucked with you.

“Fine. Shoot.”

“right. thanks, toots.” Edgy leaned forward. You swear you saw his face darken, and one of his red eye-lights flare up brightly—but you couldn’t be sure. “so… _what’re your plans with me?_ or, more precisely… **_what’re you planning to do with me?_** ”

You felt the blood run out of your face at the sudden change in tone and atmosphere. You hastily suppressed the sensation, but you suddenly remembered how fucking _terrifying_ this bitch was. You felt pain in your chest. What the **_hell_** was that? Why did it hurt so bad? Why did it feel like you were being torn apart from the inside?

Damn it, he was calm for all of five **_fucking_** minutes and he managed to get you to stop seeing him as the threat he was.

He was good. _Too_ good.

…You were full of **_fear_**.

Then, unexpectedly, you heard a loud **_SLAM_** and next thing you knew, the Edgy was soaring diagonally towards the floor, landing roughly on the carpet. “ **(y/n)!** ” a familiar voice called, and all the sudden Sansy was standing on your chest, sweating bullets, eye glowing a wild blue. “ ** _Are you alright?!_** ”

His voice was different than usual. More serious. So, _so_ much more serious.

“Sans…” you whispered, relief coming off you in waves. You suddenly felt the full weight of the shock you’d been through, the air rushing out of you. Suddenly, you saw everything in _perfect clarity_.

And on top of that, _Sans was here for you._

Tears started to prick in your eyes in relief.

Seeing this, his face turned into a glower, misinterpreting your expression. He promptly vanished, and you gasped, scrambling to sit up and spotting him on the floor, eye glowing, standing in front of the kneeling skeleton.

“ **pal… give me _one_ good reason not to dust you _right now_.**” Sans’s voice was more threatening than you’d ever heard it in your life. You jumped upright.

“S-Sans, wait!”

He turned back towards you, eye still glowing furiously as he met your gaze silently.

“Wait, Sans, he… he didn’t _actually_ hurt me. I mean, he lost his temper earlier and nearly did, but he calmed down… J-just now, I think—I think he was just trying to scare me out of… I don’t know… I think—I think he was scared… too.”

You were shaking a little despite yourself. Damn it, you were supposed to be appearing _confident_ right now—Well, Edgy was staring up at you with wide eyes anyway, sweat dripping down his face, so you guessed it had the intended effect.

Sans eyed you critically, eye still glowing, before he shut his eyes and sighed. “kid… you really are too good for your own damn good.” He appeared on your shoulder, then sat down.

You swallowed at that, then straightened, looking down at the Edgy at your feet. You felt emboldened, now. You crossed your arms and stared him down.

“So, Edgy… you asked me what I planned to do with you. Is that right?”

He didn’t respond.

He didn’t need to.

“I’m not going to try to hurt you, Edgy. But I _am_ going to make sure that _you_ don’t try to hurt _me_. That said, we’re going to the adoption center… as soon as I’ve gotten changed.”

You still felt bare. Damn it, you still didn’t have pants on.

You set that aside and continued, “They’re going to sort out where you came from, how long you’ve been on your own if long at all, and then we’re going to figure out what’s best to do with you. _That’s_ what my plans are for you.”

The room was deathly silent now. Then, after several seconds of utter stillness, the Edgy cracked a smile. It wasn’t a gleeful smile, or a hateful smile. It was a bitter, almost _deranged_ even… _broken_ smile. “Ohohoho.” His laugh was _piercingly_ hollow. “You really don’t have a _god_ -damned clue, do you? You have **_no fucking clue_** what’s going on.” His face dropped. “Fine, then. Let’s go to the adoption center, then. _Hell_ , I’ll even get in the box **_on my own_**. You’ll see soon enough. _You’ll_ understand. And when you do… heh. Heheheh. _Heheheheheheheh._ ”

And, suddenly, he vanished.

You could’ve popped the tension with a needle, the air was so still.

You dared to release the breath you’d been holding, then squeezed your eyes shut.

“Sans?”

“…yeah?” His voice was soft again, now.

“…I need you to get my phone for me.”

You felt his nod, then he disappeared. He reappeared after a few seconds on your shoulder, phone resting under his arm.

“…Thank you, Sans,” you murmured, gently taking the phone and resting it in your hands. You paused. “…Sans…? Did he really…?”

“he’s in the box, yes.” Sans sounded none too pleased.

“…I see.” You ducked your head and sighed heavily. Then you lifted it again and checked your phone.

You then proceeded to have multiple realizations, immediately after each other:

Shit. It was fucking _one_ already. They’d been open for _hours_.

 _Shit_. You had 3 missed calls and 2 voicemails, all from the Adoption Center. _Shit._

And lastly, you had a very, very short text from one of the employees:

_This is Nicole. You need to come down to the center NOW. Bring the bitty. Get him in the box and do NOT let him out._

_… **Shit.**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Wowie! That was, uh... sure a trip, huh guys? Hahaha... 
> 
> Well... Wonder what Edgy's secret is? Or, rather, secrets plural? Why don't you guess in the comments? ;P 
> 
> Also... how did Sans know you were in trouble? Did he just happen to wake up at the right time and panic? Did he sense Edgy using magic? Did he sense your soul in danger? Hmmmm... the world may never know. 
> 
> And, do you guys really think the night went without incident while you slept? Hmmmmm... 
> 
> See y'all soon... ;P


	4. Rewind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansy is tired, but adorable. You learn more about the red bitty than you ever wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sassy Reader is BACK, guys!
> 
> Ahahaha... this is the peak of "shit gets real". If you haven't already, I strongly suggest you download extension "InteractiveFics", which I linked to in chapter 2. 
> 
> Like... strongly? I mean you don't have to but uh... (y/n) is kinda dumb to look at over and over again, don't you think?
> 
> Anyways... 
> 
> Don't worry, guys, despite all the drama, I also got some cuteness in there, too~ It'll help tide you over, right? 
> 
> Now you get to see what happened last night.
> 
> A longer one today. Enjoy.

**_2:37 AM_ **

* * *

Red eyes peered out of the window of the bitty-sized house— _God, it’s so fucking frilly in here, how can **anyone** stand this shit—_nodding at the clock. Right. Good.

He quickly took a shortcut to the window on the other side of the top “floor” of the bitty-house, then peeked through the glass. Yep. The blue bastard was still there, staring in his direction. Luckily, it seemed he wasn’t looking at _this_ window in particular, so he still had the element of surprise, to an extent anyway. _Those_ ones wouldn’t act unless acted upon, so to speak—he wouldn’t come barging into the “house”, but he would most certainly retaliate the moment he made a move, which meant he had to move _quickly_.

Not that it mattered, but guys like himself were… a bit more _proactive_ than that. Meaning that at least if he acted quickly, he might make it. Maybe.

It was a long shot, but although he was at a disadvantage here in multiple ways, he had the upper hand in a few… others.

He just hoped it wouldn’t come to _that_ one. He didn’t know if he had it in him to do that again…

No… that was a lie. He knew he did. He just… really hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

Not that he _cared_ about the other one. Just… he really… really…

The red-themed skeleton cut his own thoughts short when he felt perspiration forming on his forehead. He hastily wiped it away with the back of his hand then tried to smear it onto his jacket, willing the sickly feeling to go away. This was **_not_** a good time for that. Actually, _no_ time was a _good_ time for that, but this time was certainly worse than others.

_Damn it all…_

He attempted to rub away the ache in his eye socket. It didn’t really help, but at least it distracted him from it as he carefully inched away from the window, being careful to step out of sight. Just because the other one wasn’t looking _yet_ doesn’t mean he wouldn’t. That fucker was _vigilant_ when he really wanted to be…

Quickly, he teleported downstairs, then to the bottom floor, grateful there were no doors or anything in the way. Sure, his limitations were frustrating, but he could make this work. He’d scoped out every shortcut. All going to plan. All going to plan…

He dropped to his knees and carefully crawled on the ground towards the window. Despite his complaining about the frilly shit everywhere in here, he at least admitted he was glad for the pink curtains as he extinguished his eye-lights and carefully stepped behind them, smoothing it out ever-so-slightly, just enough to see through the fabric…

Yup. Despite looking at the bottom floor, the other bitty gave absolutely no reaction. Good. This was good. Everything was going according to plan. Just wait… a little bit more… any second now…

 ** _YES!_** The fucker was observing the uppermost floor now. This was his cue.

He took a shortcut behind the door and tossed it open, stepping out. The other’s eye-lights snapped towards him as his sockets widened, but that was all the other one had time for as the bitty gave a sneer of a wink.

Then he took a shortcut to the base of the slightly-cracked door, nudged it open just an inch, then teleported another 15 feet into the living room. His eye-lights frantically scanned around him before he found a shortcut under the couch, and he promptly took it. He swiftly stepped a few more inches, behind the leg of the couch, just in time for the blue bastard to blip into existence, blue eye glowing, as his head swiveled around the living room. Red hid his head behind the leg of the couch just in time.

“ **come on out, pal…** ” he heard the other’s voice rumble. “we can still play nice, but if you keep this up, well **… there’ll be trouble. no _bones_ about it.**”

The Edgy clutched at his filthy shirt, phalanges digging through the fabric and anxiously tugging at his ribcage. He kept his magic just barely brimming under the surface, eyes scanning the room critically before he zeroed in on the location of another shortcut. He grinned a bit more to himself, feeling the sweat dripping down the sides of his skull. The moment the other bitty stepped into his view, face turned in the opposite direction, he seized upon the shortcut. Upon his reappearance beside the television, he saw the other’s eyes snap to the location he’d just been. “c’mon, buddy… **_you can’t hide forever._** ”

It was equal parts a threat and an assurance, and they both knew it. Sooner or later, the other _would_ catch up with him. Just because he could only tell where he’d taken a shortcut _from_ , not _to_ , didn’t mean he wouldn’t find out if this dragged on long enough. He’d catch onto his patterns of movement, even if he actively tried to be as unpredictable as possible, and then next shortcut he took, it’d be _over_.

He just had to make it before that catching-on happened.

Then he’d be _free_.

Edgy stepped fully behind the television before the other one could look his way. He ran his red tongue over his teeth in concentration, tongue darting between his razor-sharp teeth with practiced ease, not once getting punctured. He glanced towards the front door. It was _technically_ within range, but he knew if he went for it now, he’d be caught right away.

“there’s only two possible ways out,” he heard the other skeleton remind him as he teleported to the ceiling, gripping the sides of the light socket and dangling from the ridges. He ignored the shut-off lightbulb only millimeters away from his phalanges, grateful for once for his diminutive state. The other skeleton was strolling casually directly underneath him, but thankfully, it didn’t seem like the other bitty had thought of _looking up_.

 _Only two ways out._ Yeah. He glanced to the opposite side of the room to the front door where the sliding glass door was, silently observing it. Yes, technically, that was an option. If he had a death sentence, anyway. The sliding glass door, on top of being more difficult to open what with not having proper turn-able handles, led only out to the clearly visible balcony, meaning taking that exit was a sure-fire way to get caught. No, if he didn’t want to have a bad time, his only truly viable option was the front door.

He just hoped that Blue thought he was enough of a dumbass to not realize that.

Knowing this was the only chance he’d get to have such a good vantage point of all the shortcuts in the room, he quickly scanned the room below him for each and every shortcut he could find, absorbing as much of the information as he _possibly_ could in such a short time. Damn it, expending this much energy was getting to him. He really _was_ sweating bullets. He quickly latched his gaze on the shortcut directly above the sliding glass door, intending to throw off the other bitty when he teleported away and indicated the spot he’d been, then took the shortcut, settling on the doorframe.

Blue Bastard looked visibly surprised and glanced upwards, then chuckled. “the ceiling, huh…? awfully creative of you. guess your skull isn’t as empty as i thought. guess there are some lights in your head after all.”

The Edgy moved to take the next shortcut he saw, only to freeze up.

As the other one began lowering his skull to continue his search, he’d locked eyes _directly with him_.

**FUCK.**

Edgy snagged onto the shortcut he’d been planning on, then immediately took the one at the front door. He grasped the handle and it began to drop as he used his magic to pull ba—

The moment he felt a grip on his SOUL was the moment he knew it was all over.

**_Shit._ **

He plummeted down, dropping onto the welcome mat and wincing, struggling to stand. The door, which had hardly been pulled half an inch anyway, easily clicked back into place.

“ ** _H e y t h e r e , p a l ._** ”

Edgy’s gaze shot up from where he was kneeling, one leg up, making eye contact once again with the “Original” Sans.

Ha. “Original”. Don’t make him _gag_.

The “Original” Sans was nowhere near here.

The other monster hardly seemed phased, probably due to the fact that he’d hardly used more than a couple shortcuts while Edgy had been bouncing around the room like a goddamn bouncy-ball.

The red one snarled. “why won’t you just fuckin’ **_let me leave_** ,” he practically spat out.

He only chuckled humorlessly back. “i really, really hoped it wouldn’t come to this, but… see, normally, i’d be more than happy to see one of **_you_** leave and never come back. but, see, unlike _you_ … i have a little something called ‘ _loyalty_ ’.”

The Edgy bristled violently. _What the hell does **he** know about **loyalty** —_“oh, is that right?” he sneered. “well, _you’ve_ never known what it’s like to live in _fear_ of the ones you _love_. ever think of that, **_asshole_**? oh, and by the way… think your human knows the meaning of _kidnapping_?”

Blue’s eye sockets narrowed at that. “‘the ones you love’, huh? interesting. say… surely you at least have a papyrus with you. so… where is he?”

“oh, so i’m dragged into your human’s home against my will and you’re suddenly entitled to my life’s story, huh? what about _you_? where’s _your_ brother?”

He’d hardly gotten the words out before he was slammed against the wall. A single blue eye glared up at him. “ ** _s h u t u p ._** ”

“ooo, sensitive subject, huh? maybe it’s the same for me, huh? did you ever think of that one?”

A darker glare. “i don’t buy that for a second. so why are you alone? and why hasn’t he come _looking for you_?”

“oh, wow, look at _you_ , blue. so knowledgeable, huh? you know eeeeeeeeverything about this hellhole world, don’t ya? why are you chasing me down like this, _buddy_? why are you treating me like some sorta _criminal_?”

“maybe i wouldn’t be treating you like one if you weren’t **_acting like one_**.” His expression morphed into a more dangerous one. “speakin’ of… your soul’s lookin’ a lil’ on the darker side. mind if i **_take a closer look_**?”

Edgy managed to channel his magic into gripping the other’s soul and flinging him to the side, allowing the other’s hold on him to vanish _just_ enough for him to teleport away, reappearing a fair distance away.

“haven’t you ever heard of _privacy_ , blue? we’re _both_ judges here, you know. maybe it’s just _none of your **damn** business_. i’ll share the state of my soul with whoever i damn well _feel like_ , and you sure as **_hell_** ain’t entitled to that information.”

The Sansy tilted his head to the side, getting up and levelling eye contact with Edgy. “heh… the first time you attack, and it’s not even a bone-based one. surely you realize i’m well and capable of _dodging_ , don’t you? interesting. could it be that you know something _i don’t_?”

In response, he conjured a bone attack an inch away from the other’s feet, which he effortlessly, albeit needlessly, dodged.

“not even tryin’ to aim. you’re sure an _odd_ little edgy, aren’t you? what’re you so _afraid_ of from a _guy like_ _me_?”

“oh, i sure as hell ain’t _afraid_ , **_bastard_**.”

“really? cuz you’re sure as hell _acting like it_. _what’re you **so**_ **_afraid of_**?”

Finally, he threw a bone directly under Sansy’s feet, which he smoothly avoided. In response, Sansy conjured a handful of bones floating in the air beside him, which Edgy too dodged.

Soon, they were going back and forth, changing each other’s souls and redirecting them to another lateral direction, bones flying in all directions and both dodging, gradually growing more spent—although admittedly, Edgy was looking more worn out of the two of them.

Sansy’s attacks then began to die down, and in response, Edgy’s dropped off too. They both flopped down on the ground, panting, red and blue sweat dripping down their skulls.

“…right.” Sansy was the first to recover. “well, buddy… i think it’s no question who of the two of us is stronger, here.”

Edgy glared. “oh, stronger? like _hell._ you _only_ got the upper hand because unlike you living your comfy-cozy human-protected lifestyle, **_i’ve_** been trying my damnedest **_all day long_**.”

He merely chuckled in response. “well, be that as it may… as it stands, i do still have the upper hand, here. no point in dusting a fellow sans, right?” Sansy gave a lazy wink and shoved his hands in his pocket. “ _sans_ any further disruptions, of course.”

“…” Edgy only grimaced in response.

“so, uh… let me be more explicit for ya.” Sansy stepped closer to the red bitty. “why don’t you just go back to bed nice and easy so you don’t disturb (y/n) any further. oh, and one last thing…” His eye-lights darkened. “ **You won’t have to worry about what happens with you in the morning if you so much as lay a finger on her.** …Capiche?”

Edgy gritted his teeth wordlessly, but he got the message loud and clear. Silently, he strolled back down the hall and slipped around the cracked door. He didn’t need to look back to know the other Sans was following behind. He took a shortcut up to the bitty-house, then shut it behind him.

“…” He slumped against the door.

_God damn it._

_God **FUCKING** damn it._

He was so close.

And yet, so far…

One fucking slip up. _One_. In all this time.

And here he was, in hot water, with no way out.

Eyes vacant, he stared at the floor of the deceptively cutesy bitty-house that was his prison.

_…God… **damn** it. _

He felt uncharacteristic tears form at the corner of his eye sockets. Hopelessly, he didn’t even bother to try to stop them. It’s not like the other bitty could see him, much less the human girl. (y/n), his counterpart said, right? Though, it didn’t matter what your name was, now did it. All that mattered was what you’d done to him.

What you were _going_ to do.

 _…Maybe, this is what you deserve,_ a voice whispered in the back of his head. _Maybe this is the universe’s way of inflicting its karma on you._

_Shut the hell up._

_Your sins have finally caught up with you, haven’t they? Poor, poor Sans._

_Shut UP._

_Oh, boohoo. Wallowing over your actions leading to your own undoing? Pathetic._

**_Shut UP!!!_ **

He growled audibly and stood. He angrily rubbed the tears on his face away on his filthy jacket sleeve, then made his way up to the top floor, flopping down on the bed.

…Maybe… just maybe… _you_ were his chance out of this. If you were a softie… maybe he could still slip away. The other Sans would be _bone_ tired in the morning, for sure, and he certainly wouldn’t sleep since he was still suspicious as hell of Edgy, so if he could take advantage of that…

But first… he needed to recharge his energy. He shut his eye-sockets and pled to whatever deity that he didn’t believe in to hear him and come get him out of this mess.

…But no one came.

* * *

**_Present Time_ **

* * *

You were still reeling over the message Nicole sent you as you began hurriedly stripping out of your night shirt and changing your underwear. Sansy wasn’t looking directly at you, thankfully, but he also was making no attempt whatsoever to distance himself from you. He sat on the bed just a foot away from you, staring perpendicular to you rather than away from you.

…You figured that this was alright, as he was in fact a skeleton and probably wasn’t physically attracted to something all fleshy like you… And even if, purely _hypothetically_ , he _was_ , you figured after the way he’d been so protective of you, you’d let this slide.

He was… far more caring than you deserved.

Your head hurt and you shut your eyes, willing away the dizzy spell rushing over you; after a few seconds it passed, and you finished replacing your panties and went to grab a bra.

“hey… (y/n)…” Sans’s voice was even softer than before, startling you.

“…Yeah? What’s up?”

“i’m… really tired… can i… puh, please…”

Your eyebrows shot up. _Please_? Oh no. What the hell was getting him like _this_?

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” You slid on the bra, shooting him a distressed look.

Sans shifted a little, almost glancing towards you but not fully. “nnn… i just… it’s hard to… stay a…”

You clipped the bra together. “What? Are you okay? What do you—”

Then next thing you knew he’d teleported to your chest and was clinging just above your breasts.

Oh **_HELL_** no.

Sure you were grateful enough to let him see you naked without much of a fuss, but _playing in your goddamn **cleavage**_? … _Much less **without fucking asking?**_ Yeah, that crosses the damn line.

“SANS, WHAT THE **_FUCK?!_** ” You snatched him off your chest by the hoodie, baffled and affronted all in one as you stared at him dangling from your fingers.

“w-wait… no… that’s not what i… mean…”

“What…?”

“not… _that_ …” he managed out, at least having the decency to look embarrassed. “i mean… that…” He gestured vaguely towards your chest above your breasts.

Yeah, like that really cleared things up for you.

“Sans… are you in _heat_? It’s been a _fucking_ **_day_** —”

“goddamnitnoi’mnotinheati’mjustextremelywornoutand ** _pleasefortheloveofgodletmebeclosetoyoursoul_**.”

…Huh?

“My… soul.” You squinted at the tiny skeleton in disbelief. Now that you were looking so hard, you noticed how _sweaty_ Sansy’s head was, and how he was visibly struggling to keep his eye sockets open.

“it’ll… help. i used up a lot of magic. soul… there…” His voice trailed off and his hand he’d barely managed to raise in a vague pointing gesture towards the center of your chest dropped, and he hung limp in your hands, eye sockets half-closed and eye-lights fading away.

“…Oh. I… see.” Hesitantly, you dropped him into your other hand, carefully helping him so he splayed out more comfortably. He managed to crack one eye open a bit and an eye-light reappeared, though his other eye closed.

Your face flushed a bit as you glanced away and chewed on your lip— _Why did you assume **that** was what he wanted in the first place? Fucking pervert_—then carefully, balancing the exhausted bitty in your hand, you returned to your closet and your eyes scanned over the clothes. You found the shirt you were looking for and tugged it off the bar, holding it by the hanger and dangling it in front of you so Sansy could see. “Would… This help?”

He seemed to slowly process it and his eye-lights grew a little brighter as he managed to crack the other eye open. “y-yeah, that would be perfect, c-can i—”

“Yes, Sansy, just let me put it on first, alright?”

“o…kay…” His voice faded into a tired mumble again.

You carefully set him back down on the bed before you looked at the shirt—it had a pocket starting at the upper half of your left breast and continuing a good few inches up your chest. Sighing and nodding to yourself, you slipped it on, then reached out and scooped him into your hands. Cautiously, you pressed him against your chest, then softly slid him into the pocket. Almost immediately, Sansy visibly crumpled and curled up, clinging to approximately where your heart should be.

Instantly, you felt guilty for your prior resistance. He looked… _exhausted_. You swore you’d never seen him like this before. Did just expending what seemed like just a bit magic do all _this_ to him?

…What in the hell _happened_ to him?

“…You okay, sweetheart?” you whispered down at him, softly stroking him through the outside of the pocket with a few fingers.

“mmm…mhm…” He let out an exhausted sound and simply continued pressing against you.

You felt marginally relieved, but still felt a little bad. Still, you managed to crack a bit of a smile. “Hey… I thought I adopted a Sansy, not a Soft Bones…”

You heard a soft huff of amusement from your pocket, and you relaxed more. At least he was still capable of appreciating a joke. “Well… try not to fall out, I guess. I’m gonna get ready the rest of the way, now…”

He didn’t respond, but you knew he heard. With an affectionate sigh, you shook your head and _fucking **finally**_ found some pants and slid them on. God damn it, it felt somehow like it’d been _two days_ without pants. Even though you knew that was ridiculous. That was just last night, after all. You were probably just feeling tired and disoriented from how late you were up.

Yeah.

Shaking that _really_ _odd_ train of thought off, you went to your bathroom and started working on brushing your teeth and hair, respectively.

You made eye contact with yourself in the mirror and noted the bags under your eyes. Great. Your toothbrush hit the water in a weird way at this point, spraying water up to your wrist, much to your distress. Before you’d finished voicing your expletive, you noted your band-aid beginning to slide off your finger from the moisture. You moved to slide it back up, but… on second thought, you slid it the rest of the way off.

 _…Huh… huh. Huh._ You evaluated the tip of your finger with narrowed eyes, examining it with some disbelief. Sure, there were still marks there, but they were _much_ smaller than you remembered. Just little teeny scabs that didn’t seem to go too deep.

That was… _very_ odd.

It hurt a lot, didn’t it? _Well… maybe it just seemed worse than it really was at the time,_ you reasoned. _I mean… he **was** being pretty aggressive, no wonder you would’ve interpreted his actions as more violent than they were… _

Remembering the bitty, you uneasily shifted your gaze to the door of your bathroom. You still hadn’t heard a single sound from the box. If you didn’t know any better, you’d almost think he’d died in there.

… _Did_ he?

No, that was ridiculous. You needed your mind to stop wandering into dark places.

You finally finished getting ready, not bothering with any sort of makeup or anything before throwing your shoes on and grabbing your bag and the box. You managed not to wince.

You began making your way to the front door, then paused. You redirected to the kitchen, walking through the archway and setting the box down carefully on the counter before you headed to your specially-designated cabinet and opening it. You nodded to yourself and pulled out a piece of monster candy. You unwrapped it and held it above your pocket.

“Hey, Sansy.”

“mmm…?”

“Would you like a monster candy? That could help…”

“…mmm… yeah… thanks,” he mumbled out, managing to roll so he was facing the opening of the pocket and wearily lifting his arms as you set the candy in them. He dropped his hands and cracked his jaw, revealing his blue tongue, before slowly licking at the comparatively massive spherical candy that was almost a third of the size of his body, sleepily lapping at it like the world’s biggest jawbreaker candy.

…

That was…

 _He’s fucking **adorable**_.

You could feel the heat rising in your face as you hastily turned away from the **_extremely unfairly endearing_** sight, swallowing thickly before grabbing the box again and quickly heading towards the door. You leaned down on the handle with your elbow and made your way outside, trying to dispel the flushed feeling rushing over you by concentrating on the much more _serious_ issue at hand.

Namely, the aggressive red bitty in the box who was still perfectly and utterly silent. You could feel him in the box at least, his soft weight teetering every once in a while when you jostled it by accident, but other than that, there was almost no indication that the previously loud and aggressive bitty was even in there.

It made you almost more uneasy about the cryptic message the Adoption Center employee sent you.

_This is Nicole. You need to come down to the center NOW. Bring the bitty. Get him in the box and do NOT let him out._

The text repeated in your head over and over.

What the hell did _that_ mean?

Did it have something to do with why the Edgy seemed so utterly opposed to going to the Adoption Center with you?

…Was something going to happen to him?

You tried to dispel the anxiety starting to gnaw at you. The Center was full of _very_ nice people. Nicole, for instance, was a woman you’d spoken to relatively often. She was a caring soul that almost seemed to tear up with joy as you bonded with your Sansy. She showed you various things you could buy in preparation for adopting him, pointing out all the things he typically liked that you still had questions about, seeming overjoyed at your affection for him. She only ever showed complete and utter _love_ towards the bitties in her care, and you had absolutely _no_ reason to believe that it wasn’t genuine. You knew this for fact.

…But…

…The _fear_ in his eyes.

You set the box down in the passenger seat, grabbing the passenger seatbelt and securing it. Hey, the box might be safety-secured, but that didn’t mean that you should make the trip any more awful and jerky for him than it needed to be, right?

You started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, absorbed in your thoughts as you headed onto the road.

 _Well…_ you reasoned, _If the_ Center _is innocent… Then why would he be so panicked? Did…_ he _do something…?_

It made too much sense. He was aggressive as hell. He threatened you for basically no reason—okay, so you _did_ lowkey kidnap him, but he surely knew as well as you did that you had no foul intention with it.

 _…Even if_ he _did something… why would he be so scared…? What does he think the Center is going to do to him…? Adoption Centers are full of kind-hearted people…_

…This was one hell of a mystery.

Well… you’d get your answers soon enough, wouldn’t you?

* * *

You parked in front of the very-familiar building, then slumped back in your seat. You glanced down at Sansy in your pocket.

…He seemed to have fallen asleep, still holding the much-too-large monster candy.

You snorted at the adorable sight. Okay. You felt a _little_ better now. Not much… but a little. You committed the picture to memory before unbuckling yourself and your “passenger”, then holding the box under your arm. You slung your bag over your other arm and popped open the door, got out, and shut it behind you. You shifted the box so you could hold it in front of you. Then you took a deep breath, opened the door, and walked in the building.

“Welc— _OH MY GOD, IT’S **YOU**!_”

Nicole practically lunged at you, gripping you in a bear-hug over the box. You felt the very smushed Sans struggle and growl a bit against your chest, but both him and you were quickly relieved of the pressure when she jerked back and practically ripped the box from you. She quickly made her way behind the counter, ducked down, then pulled something out from under— _Is that fucking **duct tape???**_ You watched, eyes practically bulging out of your head as she began frantically wrapping the box with the tape, sealing it shut.

…You didn’t even _know_ how to react to that one.

…Overkill, much?

Before you could manage to pull yourself together enough to voice a response, Nicole picked up the box and booked it into the back room. You were left awkwardly standing there, waiting.

This whole situation was surreal.

You glanced down at the bitty in your pocket again, and… it seemed despite the momentary disruption via death-crush, he’d dozed off again. You couldn’t help but snort to yourself. _Lazybones…_

Softly, you stroked the back of his head through the pocket. He stirred and leaned closer into your chest. The monster candy just rolled closer to his feet, and you smiled at the silly sight.

Then, Nicole returned through the door, making you jolt upright in surprise.

“Alright! Well, I’m glad that’s taken care of.” She clapped her hands together in forced cheer.

“What… do you mean? What’s—what’s going to happen to him?”

Nicole’s smile seemed a bit more strained. “Ahh, (y/n)… Well, everything’s under control now. You and Sansy can head on home now. No more surprises!” She laughed unconvincingly.

“Nicole… Tell me. What the _hell_ is going on here?”

She paused and shut her eyes as though bracing herself. Then she heaved a sigh. “(y/n)… I’m so sorry. You’re… young. You don’t deserve to have this thrust upon you. This shouldn’t have happened. I just… I wish that this could have been prevented…” Nicole seemed frustrated with herself… and… ashamed?

You felt a sort of tingling on the back of your neck.

“Well… it’s too late for that. It’s unavoidable.” Nicole visibly slumped. “I… really am sorry I have to be the one to break the news to you. I’m so sorry.” She gestured into the employee’s room behind her. “Well… come with me, then.”

Cautiously, you stepped around the service counter and followed her as she pushed through the doors.

It seemed like just normal things, for the most part. No doom-and-gloom ominous items on the shelves—just pet toys, bitty food, boxes upon boxes of junk… normal stuff.

Finally, you reached the end of the strip of supplies, where the familiar duct-taped box sat on a desk next to some sort of machinery.

The sensation on the back of your neck persisted—an ache that wouldn’t go away. You scratched at it.

“Sit down, (y/n),” Nicole offered kindly, gesturing to a comfortable-looking, squishy chair. You dropped down on it without protest, and she sat down in one of her own.

“So, (y/n)…” she began. “You know how… Bitties can’t survive on their own for long?”

 _Of course_ you did.

Adoption Centers were a way to allow bitties to find people to connect with. Other bitties were a _fair_ substitute, which was why the bitties were all kept together in the same space, even ones that weren’t particularly fond of each other. They relied on each other’s SOULS for support. But a human’s soul was verifiably, indisputably, better for a bitty to be around, than any singular bitty’s. The one notable almost-exception were Sanses and Papyruses, in that they _almost_ reached the same level of support as a human’s soul; it was fascinating to those who studied it. The most popular explanation was that it was because they were apparently brothers. Still… even a Sans and Papyrus paired couldn’t _quite_ match the strength of a human soul to pair with, though it could be extremely close.

Perhaps it was just because human souls were, well, larger.

But you really didn’t know for sure why. You just knew the “what”, not the “why”.

You shook your head and dispelled that tangent from your mind. “Of course?” Why was she asking such a stupid question?

“Right… well.” Nicole leaned forward in her seat. “Edgies were… ‘pulled off the shelves’, so to speak, a while ago. Now, not _every_ Edgy—and it’s not like we took back the ones who’d already been adopted or anything. We just kinda… kept track of them. For the _most_ part, the ones who’d already been adopted seemed to be acceptably tame, but…”

You felt sweat dripping down your spine in anticipation.

“Well… some of them, and some who weren’t adopted… were, well, unstable. At least by bitty standards. Them and some Bosses, too…”

You swallowed.

“Basically… we’ve been keeping track of _every_ Edgy. We know where the remaining ‘tame’ adopted Edgies are. We knew where the rest of them were, too. We know that not all of them have survived.”

Your heart was pounding. Why was it pounding so hard? Why was it hard to breathe?

“The rest were either brought into custody, or they escaped. This was a while ago, though, so by now, of course… of the ones we couldn’t find, it’s very likely that they’ve since died, short of intervention.”

You were getting lost in the story. The itch on your spine was spreading.

“Look… I’ll make this as direct as possible. I won’t patronize you.” Nicole leaned back and moved the box under the machine. She typed something on the keyboard. A light shone over the box. The screen began booting up.

“This Edgy _has_ to be one of the ones not accounted for—adopted, but disappeared. And he seemed to be alone, no? No attempts to tell you to return him to anybody… No Papyrus popping up looking for him.”

The screen popped up with information sprawled across it. You didn’t look.

“(y/n)… Bitties are a bit _different_ from humans. Their soul can be strengthened… to the point they won’t die from being alone for a while. Potentially forever, if they were aggressive enough about it…”

Nicole leaned forward and grabbed your hand in hers. “(y/n)… **that Edgy has _murdered_** **someone**.”

…

You felt someone’s sins crawling up your back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oopsies.
> 
> Some of you got close-ish, but not quite on the mark. I guess none of you suspected that I'd go there... Whoops. 
> 
> Hehe... sorry, guys.
> 
> Maybe Edgy has a reason he's killed before? How valid is that reason...? Hmm.
> 
> Well, you guys'll get to sit on that question for a bit, since it'll probably be till at least tomorrow, if not Monday or later before I get to be able to write any more. Finals week's coming up and all. Consider this longer chapter a gift to tide you over... even if that is an unbearable cliffhanger.
> 
> Hehe. 
> 
> In any case... Comment if this chapter didn't totally spook you off, I guess! Throw any and all guesses you'd like. I'm curious what you guys think. 
> 
> Have a wonderful weekend, guys!~


	5. Level of Violence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You take some time to process the information.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaayyyyy! Sup y'all... I'm back. 
> 
> Just a bit of exposition/monologue this chapter because it was long enough as is and I didn't wanna trim the drama. So... hopefully new chapter soon? We'll see. 
> 
> God, I'm tired. 
> 
> Well... let me know what y'all think, I guess. Peace out.

You were still reeling from the revelation as Nicole slid back in her chair, allowing you a direct view of the screen on the desk.

**_LV 4_ **

**_EXP 237_ **

What… did that mean? It looked like some shit out of a video game. What the hell?

Nicole made a choked sound of surprise. “Christ, that’s even worse than I thought. Fucking _237_? That’s _nuts_. Honestly, it’s baffling that he’s _only_ at level 4…”

This whole situation was surreal. You wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all, but… the sinking feeling in your chest wouldn’t let you. For some reason, you couldn’t bring yourself to ask what the EXP meant. “What… do you mean by _level_?” you managed to ask. You felt off-kilter. You really wanted this to be a joke. You really, _really_ hoped this was a joke.

Somehow, you knew it wasn’t.

Nicole looked at you from the corner of her eye. “LV stands for Level of Violence,” she responded simply. You swore you felt like a giant-ass spider was spreading its fuzzy horrifying legs across your spine and shoulders, making you shudder, but you slapped a hand at your shoulder and there was nothing there but your own tension and unease. “It measures your ability to hurt others.”

“Oh…”

Despite you not having asked, Nicole continued. “EXP represents Execution Points. If you kill someone, it goes up. Different individuals have different values it’ll go up by. Typically, if it’s a strong person, then if you kill them, then the EXP goes up by a lot.”

Why the hell were you reacting like this? People killed all the time. So what if bitties killed, too? It only made sense, after all, they were sentient… Maybe it was just so sickening because it wasn’t just a story in the news—it was the facts of someone you’d _met_.

“…so… at the very least, to get _that_ high of a number, he’s killed strong people twice. At the most… he’s a serial killer.”

Cool! This was great! This was fine! No problems here!

“Honestly, you’re probably lucky you had Sansy with you last night. Who _knows_ what would’ve happened had he not been there…?”

Your mind flashed back to the time he teleported and was going to bite you right next to your neck.

“I’m so sorry… I know this is a lot to take in. I really wish I didn’t have to be the one to tell you this. I’m so sorry…”

And the time he glowered down at you and your chest clenched up like nothing you’d ever felt.

…

YEAH. THIS WAS FINE. TOTALLY. EVERYTHING WAS GREAT.

 _Fucking **hell** I could have **DIED**_.

The thought was suffocating, but, suddenly… you felt yourself lose any further color that’d been left in your face. Bile rose to your throat.

 _…_ **SANS** _… could have… died…_

…No…

You…

…you…

…you were a terrible person.

God damn it.

God fucking damn it.

**_God fucking damn it._ **

**_God FUCKING DAMN IT!!!_ **

Fine. Maybe it was _one_ thing to jeopardize your **_own_** life. Sure, you’d been living alone in your apartment before Sans. If you wanted to pick up a hitchhiker on the road or some shit, risk the consequences of that— ** _fine_**. The only person who’d have been at risk was yourself.

But you dragged a monster whose type you _knew_ was infamous for being overly aggressive into your home, even after he’d been _explicitly_ aggressive to the cat and to you and Sans, even threatening him viciously…

You put him at risk.

You put Sans at risk.

That… was unforgivable.

You felt the guilt blocking of your throat. Oh, god, were you going to cry?

But your mind was racing.

_Oh God he could have killed us in our sleep. Oh **God.** What if he **tried**? _

You stole a glance down at your pocket. The top of it had slipped almost-shut, but you could see the outline of your bitty laying in the bottom of your pocket from the outside, gently moving as though breathing. Even though he didn’t have lungs.

You clenched your eyes shut and forced yourself to exhale. _Slowly_.

_No… if… if he’d tried to hurt us in our sleep… then surely… Sans would’ve woken me up. Or if not… he’d **definitely** tell me in the morning. _

You inhaled shakily, marginally calmer now as your reason crept in.

There’s no way both of you would’ve slept through anything happening. Sans slept a lot, yeah, but surely, he would’ve woken up if he felt something was off.

You opened your eyes and made eye contact with Nicole. Judging her expression, she’d been watching your face go through the rush of emotions. Her knowing look seemed to be content with your figuring this out. Yeah. You needed to realize the gravity of your mistakes. She probably wanted you to understand just how serious this whole mess was. And yeah. You were figuring that out.

You…

You put Sans at risk.

You…

You couldn’t say “monster”. No…

Demon wasn’t quite right either, was it? That word was too… huh. Strong, maybe.

You… insensitive, immoral, inconsiderate, self-absorbed piece of shit who’d put others’ lives in jeopardy on a fucking whim.

Yeah. That would work.

A weary sigh escaped you as you looked down at your lap, where you meekly rested your hands.

You were… an idiot.

A fucking idiot.

You made a big fucking mistake.

A mistake that could have cost **_lives_**.

But at the same time…

_Should I not have brought him in?_

_Was it not the right thing to do?_

Your eyes clenched shut again, and this time, you really did feel tears starting to form. You weren’t going to bawl or anything, but… just single tears beginning to form. Small.

Small _especially_ in comparison to the despair building in your chest.

_No. **I did the right thing.** _

You clutched at your chest, the center of your shirt balling up in your fist.

According to what you thought was right… you did the right thing.

You _did_.

But…

You could’ve killed not just you, but _Sans_.

And the key words…

You did what you _thought_ was right. **_Thought_**.

If it came down to it… even if in _this_ case, the bitty ended up being… a _murderer_ …

…You’d do it again, wouldn’t you?

Why?

Why?

Why why why why why _why why why **why why why why WHY WHY WHY WHY**_

You’d just _hope_ that this time it wouldn’t be the case, wouldn’t you?

Sure, maybe you’d call a little quicker. Maybe you’d take some extra precautions, like calling the emergency line, or trying to get him into the box at the first sign of trouble…

But you’d still do it again.

Like the trusting, hopeful, **_fucking DUMBASS_** you were.

You weren’t _naïve_. No. You were worse than that.

You were _gullible_.

You **_knew_** the risks. You **_knew_** the potential dangers.

But you’d just…

…set it aside and do it again?

What the **_hell_** was **_WRONG WITH YOU_**?!

So **_what_** if you were **_trying_** to be a **_good fucking person_**?

What the hell did it matter if you were putting _other people in danger_?

Could you _really_ call yourself a good person if you were so… so fucking _willing_ to cast aside the safety of those you **_cared about_** … for what? Fucking **_principle_**?

You wanted to “do the right thing”… by **_risking Sans’s life???_**

Do it on _fucking_ principle.

And you’d do it again, wouldn’t you?

On _principle_.

Because it was the “right thing to do”.

…Even at the risk of others.

…You…

…Your morality system _had_ to be fucked up.

Something was **_wrong_** here. Something was **_wrong_** with you. Something was **_wrong_** with you and your “morals”.

Or…

…worse…

…what if it **_wasn’t_**?

What if, objectively…

Assuming that others needed help… even at the risk of people you cared about…

Even at the cost of their fucking **_lives_** …

…Was the **_right thing_** …?

…

You wanted to vomit.

Your hand cupped around the pocket where Sans was, with a barely-restrained urge to constrict your hand around your aching heart, and you could feel your heartbeat beneath him pounding at a rate that was through the _roof_.

You could also feel that he was no longer laying down. Yeah, it made sense that he’d wake up feeling your heart like a fucking sledgehammer right next to his skull.

Cupping your hand around the pocket just in case it jostled to the point he fell out, you shot upright, fast enough that your head spun a bit, but it didn’t matter. You could see Nicole jerking upright and her mouth opening from the corner of your eye, but you kept your eyes trained on the floor. “ _I need a minute_ ,” you muttered, with surprising clarity for how quickly it rushed out, then promptly spun around and darted down the hall. You shoved yourself through the employee’s door and walked out.

Your eyes glanced over the seats in front of the reception desk, but you shook your head and walked past them without so much as slowing down. Out here, it was too loud—between the parakeets chirping and the cats yowling and the parrots shouting random squawks and occasional words—you couldn’t bear to sit out here. Instead, you sped through the center, ignoring the section where the bitties were, and threw open the door to the bathroom.

It was unusual for a pet store to have a mother’s lounge, but you supposed you should count your blessings as you threw yourself down on it, slumping on the cushion and resting your head back. You shut your eyes and tried to ignore the prickling feeling behind them.

“…you seem pretty, uh… shaken up.” You vaguely processed that the weight from your pocket disappeared, and you felt something on the seat next to your thigh. You realized that he was making a pun on you trembling.

“…Heh.” It was obviously a broken sound. Your voice shook as you spoke.

It was silent for a moment.

“kid… i’d assume that you were just uh… reeling from shock. but i don’t think that’s all there is to it.”

Blink. That was the only outward expression of surprise you gave but… boy, he was perceptive.

 _For someone without a brain… you’re pretty observant,_ your mind supplied, but, well… now wasn’t the time for jokes. Just thinking about trying to open your mouth and force out the line made your chest ache more. Instead, you sighed.

You just didn’t know if you had it in you to talk about it. Or to figure out how to word it in the first place.

The silence stretched out again. Then you heard him sigh, too.

He reappeared leaning on your chest, eye-lights meeting your own gaze. With the way you were leaning, he was easily able to stand on your chest without so much as struggling to balance—you were leaning so far back you might as well have just been a hill to him.

“c’mon, (y/n)…” His voice was even softer than usual—gentle—before he reached out and grazed at your cheek with the tips of his phalanges, softly… carefully. “talk to me.” He was so small already, but… he was bothering to be gentle with you. Even though you were so big, there was no way he could hurt you just with his teeny hand. Even though you could just as easily crush him to pieces…

…

Sans’s face blurred as the tears formed fully in your eyes, unable to hold back anymore.

You tried not to sob—for one, you didn’t want to be noisy, and for another, he was on your chest and you desperately didn’t want to jostle him—but it was beyond your control at this point, and you couldn’t help the way your chest shuddered painfully. Thankfully, Sans didn’t seem to stumble much, but just in case… Between sobs, despite the fact that your tears weren’t falling, you slowly reached your hands out towards him, giving him plenty of opportunity to nudge them away or step back. When he didn’t, you carefully wrapped your hands around him, cupping his back as you ever-so-softly laid him against your chest. Your chest shakily heaved again, but at least with your hands cupped around him, he wouldn’t fall. You tried to stifle the shaking of your chest, making sure your hands were loose enough for him to pull away if he wanted to, but under your hands, you felt no move to. Carefully, you looked down to where he lay on your sternum, only to see him resting his skull against your chest, slowly moving his arms so as to return your “embrace”.

The sight only made you choke up more, squeezing your eyes shut and shakily cupping him more to your chest, trying so very hard not to hurt him, feeling the tears finally leave your eyes and slide down your face.

“ _Ahh, haa, haa_ ,” you gasped out, struggling to get the words out over your heaving chest. “ _I’m s-s-so-or-ry-y-y… s-s-ssoorry-y. I’m ssso, s-ssso, sssor-ryyy._ ”

“h-hey, sssh, shh, it—it’s okay…” You got the feeling he really didn’t know how to comfort you, but just the fact that he was trying and that he was putting up with your big clumsy body and your big clumsy hands to try to help you made your chest burn a bit, mixing the misery and agony with something else. It wasn’t altogether pleasurable, but it was sure as hell better than the way your chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself before.

It took a couple minutes, but your breathing slowly grew less and less shaky and more spread out. Finally, you managed to give a wavering sigh, and you finally loosened your hold on the skeleton. “I’m sorry…” you said softly as you pulled your hands away, this time about the fact that you’d been holding him.

“it’s okay.” You weren’t sure if he knew you were apologizing for pinning him against your sternum, but you figured it wasn’t worth it.

The silence returned, but this time, it was a little more relaxed. You felt… tired.

“S-Sans…” you mumbled. You wondered if it felt weird to feel you talk and sob while he was laying on your chest. It probably did.

“hmm?” His eye-lights turned to look at you.

“I…” You paused, trying to figure out exactly what you were going to say. Your feelings were tempted to spout out every knee-jerk reaction—

_I’m disgusting_

_I hate myself_

_Please hate me_

_I’m sorry_

—but you managed to suppress those phrases pleading for you to voice them in your mind. Instead, you sighed shut your eyes, just for a moment to figure out what you should be saying.

You heaved another shaky sigh and reopened your eyes. “I… don’t know if I’m a good person or not.”

“hmm.” The tiny skeleton sat up on your chest, crisscross-applesauce, as his eye-lights met your own eyes, tilting his head slightly. “and why is that?”

“W-well…” You shakily sucked in another breath, trying to phrase the words without giving into the nagging phrases in your head. “It’s just… you… you saw his stats, didn’t you?” you managed to get out. He’d been standing up in your pocket when you went to grab him, so…

His slow nod was all the confirmation you needed.

“S-so… that means… he killed someone. Maybe even… lots of people. B-but…” Shaky breath. Now there were _two_ thoughts nagging at your brain… You tried to shove the second one away. “I just… I let him into our apartment w-without even thinking about it, you know? And he…he’s a _murderer_! So I should be scared, right? And I-I mean, don’t get me wrong, I _am_ , just…” You wrestled with the words. “But I… even so… I feel like… if… if I was confronted with the same situation again… I might… do the same thing…” The moment your words were out, you turned away, unable to meet his gaze.

“i… see.”

You swallowed, but still didn’t move. It was quiet a bit longer.

“so… what do you mean?”

“O-okay, so…” Inhale. “I feel like I, I s-still did the right thing, you know? B-but then I could’ve put us in danger. _You_ in danger! A-and it’s like, okay, fine, so I have no self-preservation instincts, b-but—” Unsteady inhale. “—but I mean, putting _you_ in danger, too? That’s—that’s _horrible_! I feel like—I feel like I’m a horrible person, b-but then I’d still feel horrible if I’d let somebody be out in the cold, o-or in danger, or alone—”

“kid…” You heard him chuckle a bit on your chest, and you noted you could feel the way he shook a bit from the action as you turned your gaze to him. “i know the odds of me winnin’ in a fight may seem pretty _small_ —” you’d groan if you weren’t so upset, “—i can handle myself better than you’d think. i ain’t a lazybones when i have to be.” He gave you a lazy wink.

“B-but that’s not the _point_!” you protested, shifting a little further upright, though not so much so that he’d fall off your chest. You sighed in frustration and with practiced caution, you scooped the skeleton off your chest and set him on the arm of the seat you were on, to which he cocked his head at you again. “Like… like _now_ ,” you suggested, gesturing to him, “you seem even more tired than usual!” He seemed a bit surprised, but you kept chugging on. “And you know what? If another suspicious bitty showed up on the roof tonight—which, _god_ , I hope it doesn’t—but if it _did_ , I mean… I’d hesitate but…” You heaved another sigh, imagining yourself deliberating. “…but I’d ultimately do it again,” you finished. Then before Sans could say anything, you added, “O-or! If you were like, sick or something—I mean yeah I know monsters really only get soul sicknesses but bear with me—I’d still do it! I mean like, I’d be more careful about not letting them be close to you, and I’d try to make sure you were somewhere safe at all times, b-but—”

“slow down, (y/n),” Sans interrupted, causing your breath to hitch. “i get it.” You didn’t really mind his interrupting you, as you were more curious what he cut off your rambling to say. He sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets. “you’re feelin’ torn and guilty. morally speaking.”

You slowly nodded, then looked away, a bit shamefully. He probably wouldn’t hate you, but…

“i get it. don’t worry.”

Hesitantly, you glanced back towards him. Did he really get it…?

“you’re tryin’ hard to be a good person. but you don’t wanna do something stupid, either. and you care about your pals, right?” He gave you another wink, pulling out a skeletal hand to finger-gun at you. Then he returned it to his pocket. “but you shouldn’t worry so much. bad, good… i know you’re trying your best. i ain’t a _total_ bonehead—i’m sticking with you for a reason. and you know what? that reason is you’ve got a good soul.”

You blinked at him, eyebrows raised. “My soul…?” you repeated hesitantly, but curiously. You knew they existed, but he’d never pulled yours out, so you wondered what he was going to say about it…

He shrugged, shutting his eye-sockets. “won’t go into details, but just trust me on this, alright? your soul’s really trying its hardest. like… REALLY. to the point that i worry about ya sometimes, kiddo.” He chuckled a bit, and you suddenly felt a bit embarrassed, though feeling somewhat left out of the loop. “point is… you might make some mistakes. and that’s okay. nobody’s askin’ you to be reachin’ godly levels of perfection, here. i certainly ain’t.” He returned his gaze to you. “but even if you make some mistakes… i know you’re not tryin’ to be bad. i won’t resent you for it. and i, for one, plan to stick with you till the end.”

You felt your throat getting a little choked up, and your face started feeling a little warm. God, you hoped you weren’t gonna start crying again. “Th-thank you…” you whispered quietly, gazing at your hands in your lap in hopes fending off tears by avoiding looking at him.

Though… after that supportive speech…

The other thing started nagging at you again.

You weren’t gonna mention it… but with everything he said…

You felt a little spike of bravery.

And something else, too. A decision being set.

…Ah. The word you were looking for was “determination”.

“W-well, then…” you began, and you noticed Sans’s interest being piqued out of the corner of your eye. “If we’re talkin’ about making mistakes… I’ve, uh… got something on my mind.” You swallowed, not tearing your gaze away from your lap.

“…alright…” you heard him say slowly, and you nodded to yourself, taking that as a sign to continue.

“S-see… something’s been bugging me here.” You chewed at your lip for a second. “For one… when he… when the Edgy saw us. He didn’t seem like he even wanted to confront us. Like—he _booked_ it the minute he saw us on the roof! Like he wasn’t lookin’ for a fight. B-but if he was super murderous or anything, then why would his first instinct be to _run_? Wouldn’t he just get mad and stand his ground, a-and try to fight us off? A-and another thing!” At this point you quickly stood up, and you began pacing in front of the seat, seeing Sans on its arm out of the corner of your eye. You felt your confidence solidifying in your chest, ebbing away at the pain that was slowly fading away. “Like—he _clearly_ hated the idea of going to the Center, b-but—even though he had ample chance to, he didn’t try to fuckin’—to _kill_ me to get out, ya know? Like, sure he got _mad_ and _aggressive_ , b-but—like, he had all **_night_** to try to go after me! You know?” You spun to face Sans, a hint of desperation on your face.

His expression was… odd. Unreadable, but odd. “maybe he just didn’t want me to have a _bone_ to pick with him,” he suggested, and you deflated a bit.

“Maybe…” you relented, before turning away again and returning to your pacing. “B-but still! Like—he got in the box _on his own!_ Isn’t that like— _weird_ , for a guy who murders people? He acted like—like he wanted to like… prove something to us. But he—he didn’t have to do that. Why would he do that if he was… like, vengeful, or whatever. Like, you know what I mean?! Like—you were asleep quite a while this morning—don’t get me wrong I totally understand and I’m not upset at all,” you rushed to add, seeing Sans’s face turn into a grimace, “—but like the point is, he had AMPLE opportunity to try to like… I dunno. Break something. He could’ve spent the whole time threatening me. But mostly he just got mad when like—when I said the cat was scarier than him—” You didn’t miss the surprised snort at that. “…A-and when he was asking me what I was going to do with him. Cuz he seems to be scared of the Center for some reason. I don’t know why.”

“you said the _cat_ was scarier than him?” Sans asked, looking like he was about to break down laughing.

“Oh, shush, I lost my temper, alright! He was being an asshole! But like—not like a _murderous_ asshole, just a _regular_ asshole! That’s what I’m trying to get at here!” Exasperated, you turned to him again. “It—it just seems like something’s _weird_ here. Like… why was he so… _adamant_ about not coming here? And then suddenly flipping the switch…? Like—I-I don’t know…” You looked away again, losing your confidence. It was silent for a moment longer.

“well, (y/n),” he spoke finally, and you glanced back towards him. “i… still stand by what i said earlier. whatever happens… whatever you decide… i’ll support you.”

You visibly relaxed. “Okay… Thank you, Sansy. It… means a lot to me.”

His face looked a little bit bluer. Aww, did his nickname embarrass him? “you’re welcome, kiddo. anytime.”

You straightened and nodded, shutting your eyes. “Right. Well… I won’t do anything brash yet. For now… let’s just… see if we can find out what’s goin’ on here. Alright? I don’t know what I’m gonna do, but… I think we should… pay attention. Figure things out. Y’know.”

Sans smirked. Then next thing you knew, he was on your shoulder. “right,” he drawled, splaying out on your shoulder. “lead the way then. i’ll see if i can find any skeletons in their closets.”

You snickered a bit, feeling lighter already. “Right. Sounds like a plan. _Let’s go_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys... cramps are... The Worst. 
> 
> Aaaaaaaaaaaugh...
> 
> Anywho... based this chapter on my constant moral internal struggle. Being kind is tough. 
> 
> Well... next chapter will hopefully be soon. Maybe. 
> 
> Just a couple questions for y'all. 
> 
> We're running out of time here... What do you think is a good nickname for Edgy? And Sans, if you've got any ideas, but especially Edgy?
> 
> Do you think that Reader should have a bad relationship with her family (what I'm leaning towards), or a good relationship (which might make her more relatable I guess)? Like... It'd be more interesting if it was the former... but if it were the latter, it might be easier or y'all to insert yourselves. What's your take? 
> 
> Aight. Till next time, y'all~


	6. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edgy thinks you're a dumbass. Frankly, you agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, y'all...! Ahahaha... 
> 
> Oh, boy. Finals week is over, now... I'm home from college for the break, now. That could mean that I update super fast, or it could mean that it slows to a crawl because I'm dealing with family shit and it takes a toll on me emotionally. Yeesh. 
> 
> Well... I'm sorry it took so long for me to get this out; I've been a little overwhelmed with everything and uh, okay, admittedly, a little worried about some of the comments I was getting on my last chapter. It's okay now though, I've got a plan. Not everybody'll be happy, but y'know, I'm pretty sure it'll turn out okay. I'm gonna do what feels right for the story. 
> 
> Also, I rewrote this chapter literally 3 times because I kept getting stuck. Ultimately I said "fuck it" to chronology and skipped the emotional exchange leading to you changing your mind and taking the boi home. Finally, I managed to get it out. Thank god, cuz if I wrote this same dramatic reveal one more damn time I was gonna tear my hair out. Ssssooooo! For now that exchange will be left to your imagination. Maybe I'll get to it one day. At some point. 
> 
> Maybe. >3O 
> 
> Finally, you get to bring the angry boi home again. Yay! Welcome home, murder baby~

_Dark…_

_Darker…_

_Yet… darker…_

He shuddered.

_The darkness… keeps growing…_

_Shadows… cutting… **deeper** …_

…

He… hated the darkness.

With every bit of magic in his soul, he hated it.

And especially this stifling, all-consuming kind.

Air-tight box. Not the slightest strip of light pouring in.

He hated it. He hated it with every speck of dust that made up his body.

Hate.

Hate.

_Hate…_

…

Fine. So he was terrified.

So fucking what?

It’s not like it mattered. Not anymore.

He’d been here a billion times before. He was used to the dreadful stillness of the air, stifling his magic. He was used to the apprehension for what would happen when the lid was lifted. He was used to the all-consuming darkness that seemed to seep into his very soul…

…

Okay, no he wasn’t. He could _never_ get used to that.

Still, it wasn’t foreign. He was more than familiar with it.

And, well… with the way this was going… hopefully, one way or another, even if it ended up being an extended period… it would be the last.

More and more, he regretted his moment of lashing out… snapping. His soul was unstable all the time, now. One minute he’d be perfectly fine—then the next he’d lash out at whatever was closest to him—then the next he’d claw desperately at his rib cage, fighting his soul to stay inside—then he’d desperately be seeking out ways to fill his soul with something, anything—then he’d be limp and lethargic—then rinse… repeat.

Not in that order.

His lashing out at the _stupid-ass_ **_cat_** had been one such moment of volatility—he just wanted some _damn food_ , but then the cat showed out of fuckin’ **_nowhere_** and—fuck, it didn’t matter. Who the hell cared at this point. What was done was done.

More than that, he recalled when the human had lifted the lid off the box—the desperation **_clawing_** at his **_soul_** —pleading for **_sustenance_** —clinging to the hand, sinking his teeth in… just momentary pleasure…

It was like…

…

…Cake…

Empty calories.

But at least for the moment, it’d stifle the hunger in his soul.

_Soft hands…_

_Warm skin…_

**_FrESh bLOod…_ **

_Ha…_

_haha…_

_aha **haaahahaHAHAHHHAAAHAHAHAhaha**_

_ahahahahahaha…_

_aha…haha…_

He sprawled out on the floor, listening listlessly to the noises from the outside of his personal void, wondering when and how he’d die.

* * *

…

…

…?

It sounded like you were asking the Center wench to go talk somewhere.

He cracked a single eye socket open, red light piercing through the darkness.

…

 _Whatever._ He grunted and rolled over.

…

…

You seemed like you were a high-grade fucking softie. You were probably a green, if he had to guess. A greenie. _Heh. A **greenie**. A greenie in the real world. How do you like **that** one, Blue? _He bore his teeth in vicious amusement in the darkness; then his expression fell again and he resumed his monotonous, vacant expression.

Yeah… a greenie. Fuckin’ green soul, right? He hadn’t seen your soul—would’ve had to pull it out for that, huh—but that was probably it. You were probably traumatized beyond _belief_ to learn about something outside of your protected little bubble of kindness and empathy and world where everything was fuckin’ flowers and daisies and skipping through fields. Must be shocking to learn about the real world. Must be shocking to learn about his sins.

…

…

Though, maybe it was yellow. You did have a mouth on you… a bit thicker skin. Maybe you wanted him to get his just desserts.

…Maybe you would be **_glad_** _to see him die_.

…

Yeah… he’d _really_ miscalculated.

 **He’d** **_really_ fucked up. **

Even if you _were_ a green, you’d probably be quivering in your fuckin’ boots so hard that you’d just run away with your precious “ _Sansy_ ” without ever wondering what would become of him, just relieved your precious skin had been spared.

Whatever. It’s not like it mattered to him.

_Whatever._

**_Whatever._ **

…

…

…

…

…

Wow, it was sure taking them a while. He would’ve thought at least the Adoption Center bitch would be back by now, even if you were gonna run away and never come back.

…

…

…

…Wait, were you _yelling_?

Despite himself, he sat up, baffled. You were too far away to really tell what you were saying—every word you said was muffled—but… huh. Yeah, you were definitely yelling.

…Were you blaming the Center for a monster like him being loose? Yeah, he could see that happening. Humans would probably be miffed to have a rabid dog off his leash.

…Or maybe you were panicking and returning the other Sans in your panic at the newfound knowledge that these _cute, harmless widdle bitty skewetons_ could actually be— _gasp_ — ** _dangerous_**. He gave a shark-like grin at the thought of that **_blue-ass fucker_** getting put in his place. Humiliated, disregarded by someone he _trusted_ and _loved_ … Oooo, now _that_ was a beautiful thought.

…

…Or…

…Maybe…

…If he dared to hope…

Maybe you were attempting to negotiate his freedom.

If you… really _were_ green… maybe if you weren’t spooked enough to run away immediately, you’d found the determination for you to try to find out what would happen to him, and your bleeding-heart tendencies kicked in enough to try to spare him of his fate.

…That…

…would be the best scenario a monster like him could ever dare to hope for.

…If only… If only he were able to get the luxury of deciding where to die.

…

He lay back down and shut his eye sockets again.

Yeah, he shouldn’t get his hopes up for that. It was better to be a pessimist, he figured; either he wouldn’t be disappointed when he got what he’d been expecting, or he’d be pleasantly surprised.

Instead, he let his mind wander to other… “possibilities”.

Such as if you were, for some goddamn _inexplicable_ reason, attempting to **_adopt him_**.

The thought was almost hilarious.

Surely, you weren’t _that_ stupid. Naïve, maybe, but not _stupid_. Now that you knew who he was— _what_ he was—even the greenest of greenies, if they had half a brain, would only spare him from being killed, not be so stupid as to bring a murderer into their house.

He didn’t peg you for **that** much of a dumbass.

…Yeah. There was no way even a human as naïve as you could be that much of a dumbass.

…

…

…

He let his mind wander, again, to imagining where he would die… _if_ he happened to have the luck to be freed. Hypothetically. A nice tree… A patch of flowers. Maybe even golden ones, if he could find ’em, for old time’s sake. And he’d lay down and let his bones dissolve into dust, laying under the tree, looking up at the sun and the beautiful daytime sky… maybe even get to see the sunset and appreciate it one last time in its full glory…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Jeez, it was _really_ taking forever. Why wasn’t she just coming back so he could bite the ~~bullet~~ —heh— _dust_ , already?

…

…

…

…

…

Okay, sounds like the doors were finally opening again. He couldn’t help but shudder, despite himself.

…

…

 ** _WHOA!_** He rolled a bit at the sudden movement of the box, then glared in the dark wordlessly. _Fuck, at least give the guy on death row some **warning** , would ya? Christ. _

“(y/n), _please_ , reconsider, I’m _begging_ you,” the Center wench’s voice came.

“I’m not changing my mind.” Your voice was firm, from a few feet away, he guessed.

 _Maybe she really **did** barter to release me, _he mused to himself.

“Please… I know you really care about the bitties but—but this is _different_ , (y/n)! This isn’t just some little Cherry who’ll curl up to you and cry and ask for forgiveness! This is a—an actual, honest-to-god, stereotypical, **_monster_**!”

“I—I understand.”

A heavy sigh from the Center woman from above him.

“…Think about Sansy, (y/n),” she pleaded softly. “You’re not even just putting _yourself_ in danger. You’re… you’re putting _him_ in danger too. Please. Surely you care about Sansy, too…”

The silence was heavy and suffocating, and even he could feel the pressure from inside his personal void-like hell. _Did—is she trying to get her to release me **right now?**_ he reasoned, eye sockets narrowing in the darkness. **_Bitch_** _, are you **crazy?**_

“…I do.” Your voice was soft and sounded pained. “I do care about him. I do. But… I’ve made my decision. And… Sans… is prepared for it… too.”

He felt sweat dripping down his skull. _No. This is—this is fuckin’ crazy. This almost sounds like—_

“…Fine.” The woman released another heavy, weary sigh. “We’ll… get you to sign the papers. And the release of liability, too.”

“…Thank you…”

_No._

_No._

_No._

_No._

**_No._ **

**_No fucking way._ **

_What the hell._

_What the **hell.**_

**_What._ **

**_The._ **

**_HELL._ **

…It seemed he’d underestimated how much of a dumbass you were.

* * *

Stiffly, you finished signing the papers, and you slid it across the counter back to Nicole. She stared down at the papers as though willing them to disappear. Slowly, she slid them into a stack, tapped them into a neat pile, and slid them under the counter.

“You… (y/n). You know I’m only concerned for you, right?” Her eyes met yours, gaze pleading.

Biting your lip and looking steadfastly away, you nodded curtly. You didn’t look up to see her expression, but you suspected it was one of pity.

“…Here,” she said, and handed you a small collar of some sort. “It… it’ll make him unable to use magic. You know. If it comes to that.”

“…Thank you, Nicole,” you said flatly, carefully wrapping up the box in your arms. “I’ll be careful.”

She looked at you guiltily, but said nothing as you turned and began to walk away.

You paused and opened your mouth to request some scissors or something to tear away the duct tape.

…You… couldn’t bring yourself to voice it.

Instead, you merely nodded again and walked out of the store.

The box was eerily silent the entire drive home no matter how many times you glanced at it.

* * *

You felt a sense of déjà vu as you walk through the door again with the box in your arms and the bitty on your shoulder. Carefully, you manage to open the door, then walk inside. “…We’re home, guys,” you announce with somewhat strained enthusiasm, then nudge the door closed behind you with the back of your heel.

“…hey.” You glance to your shoulder and lock eyes with Sans. “it’s going to be okay. …i promise.”

You nod slowly and sigh shakily. “…Yeah. Yeah, it will. Thank you, Sans.” You suck in a breath and head to your bedroom and close the door behind you before setting the box on the bed. You shut your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose wearily.

This… was not how you expected to be spending the day. But here you were.

You went over to your desk and shifted things around as you dug through it until you found the scissors. You gave an experimental _snip_ at the air before turning to your bed and sitting down next to the box.

Deep breaths.

“…Right. Well. Hi, there, little guy.” You paused for a moment before pushing on. “My name’s (y/n), though, uh, I guess you probably already knew that? I dunno. I don’t know if I ever properly introduced myself. Uh, Sans, did I ever properly introduce myself?”

He blipped off your shoulder and reappeared next to you on your bed, shrugging. “heh. i dunno. if you did… it was an awfully _bare-bones_ introduction.” Sans gave you a lazy wink.

“Oh, _goddamn_ it!” Snickers erupted from your chest before you could help it. “Damn it, Sans! This is SO not the time!”

“sorry, guess i forgot that you don’t want him to have a bone to pick with us for this mess.”

“ _Sans_!”

“what?”

“Shut up! You’re gonna—you’re gonna…” You took a deep breath to steel yourself for the punchline. “…You’re gonna send us _both_ to an early grave!”

Both of you ended up cackling on the bed, though you were pretty sure they were slightly hysterical laughs, at least on your part.

Oh, well. At least you felt a bit better now.

That was probably what Sans had wanted anyway.

…He was such a sweetheart.

You wiped away a tear from your eye as you struggled to catch your breath, then leaned over the box, anxiety officially dissipated. Mostly. You began snipping at the duct tape covering the box as you spoke. “H-heh, well, uh. So… I adopted you and stuff. Though, uh, I’m sure you already knew that?” Shaky laugh. “Yeah, um. Just, I… I couldn’t just like… let you get… uh, executed. That would be fucked up.” You then tilted your head back and forth thoughtfully. “Well, okay, so, it’s fucked up that you killed people. But, uh. I also don’t want you to die? And you maybe had a good reason for it. And even if you didn’t, I mean, okay. I can just sorta… be your jailkeeper I guess. But like! I don’t wanna like, keep you prisoner, exactly, I just, uh… don’t want you to be violent? If you’re not aggressive I’ll let you do like whatever you want, but uh, you gotta keep yourself… under control. Ya feel? …Damn it, there’s so much tape! This is fuckin’ _overkill_! What the _hell_!”

Well, at least your rambling might be a little disarming. Maybe.

You growled under your breath, trying to suppress the fear in your chest as you snipped away at the tape. This really was an exponentially _stupid_ decision. And for God’s sakes, you’d adopted Sans precisely _because_ you were already in a precarious mental state! And now you adopted a bitty murderer monster. _Cool. Great decision-making, (y/n). Truly, you are the fucking **pinnacle** of decision-making. You are a **paragon** of intellect. Good _fucking _job. Moron._

But… you really _couldn’t_ just let the guy die.

You couldn’t have that on your conscience. You really couldn’t.

Especially not with the way he’d obviously been trying to avoid going to the Center, before. You’d dragged him into your house _against his will_. Then you sent him off to be put down like some sort of rabid dog?

_Fucked. Up._

_Fifty Shades of Fucked Up._

But legally, the Center was obligated to make sure that he wasn’t running free. Couldn’t exactly have a murderer—whether it was of humans or bitties, you didn’t know—running free.

So… home with you he went.

Welp.

Maybe you’d die, but at least you’d die knowing you tried to do the right thing.

…You just really, _really_ hoped that Sans wouldn’t die, too, because of your soft-hearted-ness.

Damn your sense of empathy. Damn it straight to hell.

Finally, you managed to cut off the last strip of tape and tore a few chunks of it off. You sighed shakily, then rubbed your face with a hand, setting the scissors aside.

“…Listen. I don’t… I don’t wanna fuck with you, okay? I really don’t give a shit what you do, here. I won’t force anything on you, so long as we both mind our own business. Just keep your deal to yourself, and I’ll keep myself to mine. Maybe, uh… maybe I’ll be able to figure out a way to rehome you if you end up bein’ like. Pissed as hell at bein’ forced to live with me. I don’t blame you. But. Uh. For now? I’d, uh, like to at least be like… cordial. Okay? So I’m gonna lift the lid of the box ’n stuff. So you’re not just like… trapped in there indefinitely. Okay?”

He still hadn’t spoken. It was _really_ making this whole “adopt a murderer and hope he doesn’t kill you in the middle of the night” thing **_really_ **fucking difficult. You inched your hands over to the lid. “…Okay?” you repeated, trying not to freak out too much. The silence stretched on. _Please for the love of God don’t bite me again…_ you pled internally. Then, oh-so-carefully, you cracked open the box.

…

No teleporting onto your hand. No sudden pain in your chest.

You sighed in relief and lifted the box the rest of the way off and looked down at the Edgy.

He was frozen stiff. The Sans variant was utterly still, staring up at you with red eye-lights as pinpricks so tiny they were almost gone completely. The formerly-aggressive bitty had an expression that was closer to that of a deer-in-the-headlights than of a murderer.

…

…Once again…

…You were full of sympathy.

You considered scooping the tiny skeleton in your hand and cradling him to your chest, but thought better of it, visions of your hand torn to bleeding, fleshy shreds flitting through your mind. Instead, you felt a sincere, soft smile spread across your face.

“Don’t worry,” you said gently, voice more filled with warmth than you expected. “Like I said before. I’m not here to hurt you. So… so long as you behave, everything will be okay. I promise.”

His eye-lights dilated a little, and his expression changed from paralyzed with fear to something a little less terrified. You weren’t sure what to make of it. “…why?” you heard his voice, so soft it was almost inaudible. “you’re… you’re crazy. you’re nuts. y-you’re—”

“Maybe I am.” Your voice was more certain than you’d anticipated. Collected. Firm. Calm. “But, to be honest… It’s nothing personal, really. Just think of it as an apology for the… kidnapping and everything. At least this way… you’ll have a human nearby, so you’ll survive better. It’s better than the streets and the dumpster, right?”

Edgy stared up at you, dumbfounded. You couldn’t help but giggle at the sight a bit. Then you straightened, feeling far more relaxed than you had, and, frankly… no longer concerned about the potential threat the new bitty could pose. 

“Aaaallright!” You clapped your hands together and glanced at Sansy, then back to Edgy. “Well… I don’t know about you guys, but uh, I’m starving! I haven’t eaten all day, and it’s like… uh…” You glanced at your phone. “…Shit. It’s like… it’s almost three. Well then.” You shoved it back in your pocket. “I’ll grab some shit for y’all to eat and I’ll throw somethin’ together for myself.” You threw a lazy wink Sans’s way, then strolled to your bedroom door, opened it, and continued making your way to the kitchen.

Maybe… maybe the 24 hours since last night were turning out better than you’d thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hhhaaaaa! That was a bit of a doozy to write, but towards the end it started flowing again, so that's a good sign. 
> 
> Let me know what you guys think about this chapter and stuff! And also any things you might wanna see in the future. We're getting to the point where drama is dying down, so fluff is coming, and I gotta make the plot progress a bit here. 
> 
> I've decided what to do for the family stuff. I hope none of you are too upset with what ends up happening; but though I won't tell you what I'm going to do yet, I will clarify that this won't be one of those stories where you get a whole new damn family tree assigned to you. Oh nononono. That breaks immersion a TON for me, and I bet it'll be the same for lots of y'all. Whatever her relationship with the family is... it's not gonna have tons of impact on the story. I promise. 
> 
> Kay~ Anywho~
> 
> Couple of questions for this chapter: 
> 
> What are some guesses for what color you think Reader's soul is? Edgy threw out a couple guesses here. Think any of 'em were right? 
> 
> Does the Reader seem like she's being too easy here? I'm trying not to make her too chill with the idea of adopting a murderer and everything, but, I mean... the show must go on somehow. And I really, really needed to get through this chapter. If anyone wants to, heh, throw me a bone here... I'd be glad to hear what you think of the Reader's coping thus far.
> 
> If y'all are eager enough and comment lots ASAP in response to this update... Maybe I'll try extra hard to get the next few chapters in so we've got a good progression before Christmas. That way we can have special Christmas fluff. ;P 
> 
> 'Till next time~ Ciao~
> 
> EDIT: ALSO ALSO ALSO! Anybody got any good Bittybones fics to recommend? I'd love some inspiration sent my way! Thanks y'all!


	7. Don't Threaten Me With A Good (Christmas) Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You tease Sansy a little too much and go on a surprisingly easy shopping trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whistles* Wow, okay guys. I'm starting to feel like Papyrus over here. No wonder he's so giddy at the thought of being popular—as is, I'm ecstatic with how much attention my little writing baby is getting. As of when I'm posting this, the chapter 6 has 22 comments. And the story itself has 2295 hits and 267 kudos!!! Oh my god??? Thank you guys so much????? 
> 
> Well... okay. I would've had this chapter up before, but I've actually been having a real bad time the last few days, medically. I went to the hospital to get some heart tests done, the other day. Turns out it's really hard to concentrate on writing when your head's spinning all the time and you can't really remember anything beyond the last few minutes??? Yeah... uh, I've been having these issues for a while now but right now it's being /particularly/ bad. I hope this chapter came out well anyway, despite the fact I was writing with maybe half a brain! 
> 
> I ended up rewriting this bad boy at LEAST 4 times in 4 different directions before I decided where I wanted to go with it. I hope it turned out well! Enjoy!
> 
> Edit: Okay, sorry, guys. I posted the first version at 2 AM after writing all day with a cloudy head. I made it more soft and sorta dirty-silly like I intended, now, so hopefully, it's better. I'm sorry for you guys who were caught off guard by the first version. ^~^;;; This is the final version, unless uh, it's still... overly questionable. But I'm done fucking with it for now and I gotta move on, I feel sorta anxious and guilty about it ^~^;;;; I guess tell me if it still seems really sudden and out of place? I tried to make the playfulness a bit more clear, and I think it flows a bit more now. Let me know if anything seems "off" still. Enjoy the cuter version!

Day One, as you were now going to call it, had not, in fact, gone smoothly; much like Day Zero, or the night that you’d found him on your roof in the first place.

It certainly could have gone _worse_ , you figured; getting locked out of your apartment when you went to feed the cat was not the _worst_ thing that had ever happened to you, although it certainly _was_ annoying to wait for several minutes for Sansy to realize what had happened, and then you were very nearly sent into an anxiety attack as you heard sounds of a scuffle on the other side and things that sound like pieces of furniture being knocked over (holy **SHIT** they were literally less than 3 pounds each how the **fuck** were they knocking things over), but eventually, an eerily content Sans did, in fact, open the door, revealing an equally eerily pristine apartment and an eerily _missing_ Edgy.

It turned out that Sans had lured him into a cabinet and tied the handle shut so he couldn’t get out, as apparently, Edgy could not teleport through solid objects, while Sansy could. You made a mental note of this information before freeing the tiny asshole and, with the help of Sans, getting the anti-magic collar on him, which you followed up with a curse-filled lecture about his behavior. You were **_strongly_** tempted to return him to the Center then and there, but you channeled every ounce of self-control in your body into just settling for the collar as punishment.

After that, though, it had been okay for the most part, except for the point where you opened your underwear drawer and found him passed out, inside the cup of one of your bras, using one of your favorite panties as a blanket, red drool dripping out of the corner of his mouth onto the inside of your bra. Given that he was, in fact, still wearing the collar, you wondered how in the _hell_ he’d gotten in there—either the collar didn’t actually work, or the asshole had **_climbed_** to get to it. You honestly weren’t sure which explanation you preferred, and for the sake of your sanity, you dropped the issue after tearing him out of your drawer and throwing him into the bitty-house before he’d fully come to, then put the house in a closet and tied the knob. But yes, other than that, it went fine. Surprisingly, you slept equally well this night as you had the last, despite now knowing that you were sleeping in the same house as a murderer. Perhaps the fact that you woke up with Sansy curled up on your chest in a tiny ball had something to do with it, the soft weight feeling somewhat soothing once you woke up in the morning.

You’d untied the closet and opened the door, only to, shockingly, make eye contact with an already-awake Edgy. You briefly wondered how long he’d been awake for, then took the collar off of him, warning him firmly that if he pulled another stunt that he’d get the collar back on and possibly be thrown in the box. Surprisingly, he just grumbled a bit and looked away as you took the collar off, seeming significantly more tolerable than yesterday.

You hummed to yourself as you stared at the glass of apple juice you’d poured with bleak eyes, pulling out some very tiny hotdogs from the designated bitty food cupboard and setting them on equally tiny plates. Oh, god, the plates were small enough to both fit in the palm of your hand. Not fair. Too cute. Sure, you’d bought them, but every time you looked at them you felt like you were gonna cry from the cuteness…

 _NO! Snap out of it, (y/n)! Don’t get sucked into the cute!_ You smacked your cheek a bit before breathing deeply and forcing a smile on your face again.

Right. You had a goal to achieve. Concentrate.

“Sweeeetiiieees!” you called overly sweetly down the hall, “It’s mealtiiiime! Come on over, both of ya.”

“… _sweeties_?” you heard an incredulous voice repeat from down the hall, and you couldn’t help but cackle to yourself. It was hard to tell which of them said it, and you weren’t sure which one would be funnier.

…Hmmm. Maybe that was a good way to go about cooling things down.

You set the tiny plates down on the table, a good foot apart from each other, then took a sip of your juice, waiting patiently with a small smirk on your face. It took a few more seconds for a hard-to-read Sansy to appear, followed a few more seconds later by a visibly put-out Edgy bitty.

Hmm.

You half expected him not to come at all, given that last night (before the whole locking-out-of-apartment incident) he’d only blipped over to the kitchen and rifled through your pantries after you and Sans had already eaten.

Okay, yeah. This was good. This was _good_!

You clapped your hands together, trying to keep your smile from spreading into a smirk. “Well, here ya go, guys,” you announced, tapping the table with your empty hand. “Some magical tiny hot dogs for your eating pleasure. Sorry if you don’t like hot dogs, bud, but this is what you’re gonna be stuck with for now.” You directed the last part at the red newcomer.

He merely narrowed his eyes up at you suspiciously before blipping onto the table and walking over to the plate. “’s fine,” he grunted, then slowly, carefully, reaching out to grab a hot dog. Edgy’s eyes narrowed at it as though he didn’t know what to make of it.

Sans, on the other hand, just shrugged and gave his signature lazy smile and appeared on the table, not hesitating in the slightest as he plucked it off the plate and sunk his teeth into it. “it’s great, kiddo,” he drawled. “i’m lovin’ your cookin’.”

Snort. “Okay, Mr. Sassypants, I’ll try real hard to make somethin’ edible next time.”

“nah, don’t worry about it. the only human food i’d eat is ketchup. got any of that, by the way?”

“Oh my GOD I am not falling for that, I’m NOT washing your clothes when the ketchup gets everywhere!”

“darn. thought i could get away with that.”

“Sans, I’ll feed you monster ketchup, but no way in hell am I giving you straight-up human ketchup.”

“aww, c’mon, pal. don’tcha trust me?” He gave you a teasing wink.

“I don’t trust your work ethic to clean your own damn clothes when it goes straight through you! What kinda dumbass do you take me for?!”

“fine, fine. gimme some monster ketchup then.”

“…You’ve already eaten the whole hot dog.”

“yup.”

“Sans, I’m not just going to give you straight ketchup.”

“what’s wrong with just eating ketchup?”

“You know EXACTLY what’s wrong with just eating ketchup!”

“c’mon, pal, _throw me a_ _bone_ here.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, but you couldn’t hide the chuckles coming out of you. “Oh, fine, you _numbskull_ , I’ll just get you another hot dog to go with the ketchup.”

“’k. thanks, kiddo.”

“Whatever, dummy.” You reached into the bitty cupboard and pulled out the finger-sized bottle of ketchup (Christ, he was literally like 5 inches tall, why did they make them so big), then pulled out another hot dog, dropping it on his plate and setting the bottle beside him. He smirked up at you and winked before covering the whole damn thing in ketchup.

Ugh.

You resisted the urge to groan at him and instead shifted your attention to Edgy… and noticed he was… just… sitting there.

Staring at the two of you.

Hot dog back on his plate.

“…Hey, buddy.” You laughed a little, more anxiety-based than real humor. “Ya realize I’m not gonna fuckin’ poison you, right?”

He started, then his face morphed into a snarl. “of course i got **_that_** , ya _dumbass_!” he spat, then snagged the hot dog off the plate, shoved it between his razor-teeth and tore through it like a wood-shredder, then blipped out of existence.

A beat of silence.

“…Well, then,” you mutter into your cup. “I mean, the finger would have worked just as well, but that’s sure _one_ way to flip me off.” Sansy gave an unattractive snort, hands visibly dripping with ketchup. “Ew, okay, grosso, clean yourself up. And that plate, too, I ain’t touchin’ that.”

Wink. “you got it, kiddo, whatever you say. hey, check this out.” He touched his ketchup-covered hand to the equally ketchup-covered plate, and instantly, both the ketchup on his hand and the plate itself disappeared.

“…Wow, okay.” You whistled. “You’re officially exempt from me lecturing you about the laziness cuz that’s cool as hell. Where’d it go?”

He chuckled a little. “eh, it’s not that cool, really, it’s not like the plate’s clean or anything. it’s just in the sink now,” he responded, gesturing off-handedly behind him in the direction of the sink. You headed over and yup, sure enough, there was a tiny plate with a giant glob of ketchup covering it. You wrinkled your nose and debated on whether to pick it up and clean it or not, then just sat your juice down and grabbed the sink-head and sprayed it, getting as much of it off with as minimal effort as you could manage. Sighing after there was just a thin layer of ketchup soaking in the water, you decided to dismiss it and worry about it later. Sans smiled at you from the table, and you headed his way, carefully reaching out and scooping him up.

He gave you a questioning look but didn’t protest as you lifted him up and promptly pressed your face against his body.

“Damn it, even the smell of ketchup is gone. That’s some cool-ass magic, there. Good job.”

Sansy laughed a little breathlessly, squirming a bit and pushing his phalanges against your face. “heh, th-thanks, kiddo. u-uh, you’re, uh, pretty up in my bones right now, uh, c-can’t—”

You giggled a bit lowly and separated your little friend from your face. “Aww, don’t worry, Sansy, I’ll give ya some space,” you cooed, grin spreading wider when you noticed his blue-tinted cheeks. “D’aww. Are you blushing?”

“n-no! no. no i’m not.” Sans pulled his jacket up, scrunching his shoulders high enough that the clothes partially obscured his face.

Huh. Wasn’t often that he got visibly embarrassed like this.

…Yeah, you were gonna exploit the hell out of this.

“ _Awwwwww_ ~” you crooned, grin becoming almost giddy as you shifted him into your left hand and began nudging him with the pointer finger from your right. “Is widdle Sansy embaaawassed? Did the big scawy giantess make you squirm?~”

“h-hey hey hey hey, let’s—let’s not get carried away here kiddo—” he began, clearly trying to prevent the situation from snowballing any further into “tease the ever-living fuck out of Sans” territory, but you weren’t having it, stroking him some more.

He grimaced and squirmed away from your finger, attempting to crawl away, but you didn’t relent, instead wrapping your fingers of your left hand around his hands and yanking him down onto his back, to which he actually _squeaked_ — _oh my god he **fucking** **SQUEAKED**_ —before trying to cover it up by dropping his voice an octave into a slightly gruffer tone than his usual marginally-low one. “ ** _uhhh kid_** _you **’re b-bei** ng un **f-fAIR**_ —” Sans’s voice cut off with a yelp as you used a finger to scratch his ribs through his shirt. “ _oH **nonoO KID th-THIS ISN’T AHahAHAHA**_ —”

“ _Oooooooooo~_ ” you sang, and he promptly froze, eye-lights shrinking as he stared up at you. “I didn’t think a _skeleton_ could be **_ticklish_**.”

“oh _shit_ ,” he muttered, then redoubled his efforts to struggle out of your hands, but you weren’t having any of that.

Your fingers mercilessly scratched at the tiny skeleton as he squirmed and gasped for breath, noticing a weird tingling running up your hand from your fingertips. Magic? Probably. Ah well, it didn’t feel bad or anything, just a little unusual, and besides, the way Sansy was squirming in your palm was **_way_** more interesting at the moment.

“ _p-pleaseohmygodstopstopstop,_ ” Sansy gasped out, kicking and choking with laughter, face almost entirely blue, and frankly a blue deeper than you’d ever seen it.

A gleeful, almost predatory smile felt like it was gonna split your face in two. 

Wait, wait, restraint, (y/n), restraint. Damn it, you got carried away.

Poor guy. 

“Hehe, okay okay, sorry, sweetheart.” You pulled your hands away, then bumped him softly on the head with a finger. 

He grumbled a bit and turned away, sighing. “yeah, yeah,” he mumbled, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye before shuffling away again. “’s fine,” he admitted. “just, uh… didn't expect that.”

You giggled a little, easing up a bit. Okay, you felt a little bit better now. 

“Sorry, Sans. I uh… hope you forgive me?”

Sans sighed again. “yeah, yeah… i forgive ya, kiddo.” He gave you a bit of a smile over the blueness of his cheeks. “just, heh… a bit embarrassed, is all. i, uh… didn't want you to see me like that." 

You arched an eyebrow. “Didn't want me to see you like what? Squirming and adorable as hell?”

He flushed blue a bit more, throwing his hoodie over his face. “you're cruel, kiddo. you're so cruel.” 

“Awwww! Come on, I'm not _that_ mean, am I?" 

“you so are. mean. the—the meanest. _cruel_.”

You whined loudly and he laughed. “aw, fine, kiddo. you're nice. you've just got a bit of a, uh, twisted streak.”

You huffed, pouting. You tried ineffectively not to look as guilty as you were starting to feel. “Okay, yeah, yeah. I—I'll just put you down. Sorry. Sorry.” 

He rushed to ease your worries. “hey, hey, it's okay, kiddo. it's, uh, it's fine. you—you can even tease me more, if you want! it's okay! it's okay, really!”

You paused. A smirk tugged at your lips again. “…You're giving me the go-ahead?” 

He flushed a bit, then squirmed away. “m-maybe…” he admitted, a grumble. 

_Ohohohoho_ _._

Okay, then. 

Well… he could teleport away at any time…

“Welllll, then~” you practically purred. “If you're okay with that after all...”

Heh… “purred”, huh…? That gave you another idea… an even eviler one, but still…

“You know, _sweetheart_ ,” you continued, not even trying to suppress the devilish smirk anymore, “I still haven’t eaten anything… Maybe I need somethin’ in my mouth to hold me _over_.”

“wh-what,” Sans managed nervously, beads of sweat starting to collect on his skull. Hehe. You could tell he knew you weren’t going to actually _hurt_ him, but he was sure nervous about what you were planning.

_Good._

You draped your tongue out of your lips, smirking. “Ehehehe~ You’re perfectly mouth-sized~ Like a little blue sucker~ Like a little _lollipop!_ ~”

Oh, man, he looked like he was about to lose his mind with panic. He was **_very_** blue now, too…

Maybe it was wrong to tease him like this. And admittedly, you were feeling a little flushed in the face yourself… a little warm between your thighs… Jeez, you sure hoped he couldn’t see the warmth in your face and he just saw the teasing as teasing, and not as suggestive and lewd as you felt… 

Plus, the other bitty was most certainly around—no telling if he was in another room or if he was watching the whole event.

…

Nah, it’d be fine. If you were playing the teasing up well enough, then it’d probably just look like a childish game.

Yeah. Just a silly game between friends.

…A twisted game where one friend tormented the other one.

…

It was fine, you needed this distraction and you really weren’t thinking clearly anyway. It was fine so long as he didn’t realize how much you were enjoying it beyond just the teasing.

You licked your lips dramatically and winked teasingly. “You’re so small, sweetheart!~ Ehehe… you’re supposed to be the ‘monster’ here, but to you, I’m probably _much_ scarier, huh?” You grinned, knowing you were baring your teeth rather intimidatingly in doing so. “I’m like a big ol’ scary demon, huh? And you’re all small and fragile… Ehehe… it’s like a _cat_ and a _mouse_.” You lowered your face closer to him, to the point he could feel your warm breath rushing over him. He visibly shuddered.

“d-don’t call me that…” Sans muttered unconvincingly, looking like he was trying to disappear into the palm of your hand.

“What, a mouse?” You only grinned wider. “It’s apt, isn’t it? You’re small… seem to disappear through the walls… dart back and forth with your magic… Oh, and let’s not forget the other thing.”

You leaned just a centimeter above him, then darted your tongue out and licked his skull, causing him to give a breathless, embarrassed yelp.

“ ** _You squeak._** ”

“gaaaahhhh! (y/n) stoooooppp, this—this is—this is degrading,” Sansy practically begged… almost a whine? He covered his bright-blue face with his hands. Oh, wow, you’d _really_ never seen him this pitiful. It was so out-of-character from his usual collected, casual, joking self. 

A laugh erupted from your chest, and you couldn’t hold it together anymore, deciding to show the tiny guy mercy. “Fine, fine~” you cooed, straightening and giving him some space, allowing him to sit up. He grasped his chest, panting heavily, sweat dripping down the side of his head.

“ah...ahaha... i've gotta... uh. i'm fine, don't worry, i'm f-fine, just. just, uh... i gotta... i'mgonnagonowbye.” He blipped out of existence. 

Oh, dear.

_Jeez, I hope that wasn’t too much for him…_

“Saaaans! Sansyyyy! No, come baaaaack! I'm sorryyyy! Really, I'm sorryyyyyyy! Come baaaacckkk!” Despite the bit of worry settling in you, the giggles wouldn’t stop bubbling from your chest, and you ended up collapsing against the nearest counter, wheezing as you tried to collect yourself.

Aw, man. You’d have to give him something good later to make up for all the teasing. Something better than monster candy and hot dogs. Ugh, you might even buy him another thing of ketchup—the grosso did seem to like it a lot, even more than the Center had let on, so maybe it’d be worth getting another.

…

And perhaps a bitty-sized mouse costume.

…

…

…

Hold on…

…

Christmas was coming up… wasn’t it…?

…

…

…

…

* * *

“sweet-cheeks.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“i’ve got a question for ya.”

“Fine, go for it.”

“mind telling me why you’re dragging me to who-the-hell-knows-where, _without_ your blue bastard for that matter?”

“Easy. Couldn’t find him.”

“what the hell do you _mean_ you couldn’t find him?”

“I mean I lowkey bullied him to the point he can’t stand to look at me for at least an hour or two, so he wouldn’t come when I called. And I couldn’t just leave you there without making sure Sans knew what was going on, so I just wrote a note. He’ll find it eventually. I’m not worried.”

“not worried. _not_ _worried_. you’ve got a goddamn murderer in your pocket, and you’re **_not worried?_** ”

“Yup. You’ve got the collar on, and well, it’s certainly seeming like you can’t get it off yourself.”

The bitty grumbles bitterly, tugging at the aforementioned accessory around his neck from where he was draping out of your coat pocket. Thank god you had a coat that had a pocket higher up on your chest like the shirt you wore the other day, so you didn’t have to put him in some weird place where you’d need to crane your neck to find him. Or worse, just have him out in general.

It was certainly an odd feeling to have Edgy with you and not Sansy. You almost felt like you were doing something sneaky that you shouldn’t be—like breaking the rules—but you tried to shove the feeling aside. You weren’t some sort of capricious child, and Sans _certainly_ wasn’t a parent that you needed to consult every time you wanted to make a decision or go out somewhere.

Yeah, he probably wouldn’t approve of you just dicking off with a goddamn murderer, but, well, he didn’t come out when you told him you were going somewhere, so… tough, you guess.

Okay, maybe you were being a bit of an asshole right now, but you know what? Turns out when you end up living a life within the span of a day or two that you absolutely never would have anticipated beforehand, it makes you act a bit strange. Besides, you weren’t being a _total_ dick; you did leave the note on the bed explaining very clearly where you were going and that yes, the Edgy was coming with you and yes, you were taking precautions.

“fine, then,” Red grumbled in your pocket, sounding about as resigned as a constantly-angry skeleton could get. “so, where’re we goin’, then?”

“We’re going Christmas shopping. I was planning on doing that with Sansy, but I mean…” You paused and sighed, trying to phrase it gentler than _you’ll work too, I guess._ “Well… you’re here now, too. And, uh… I mean, it’s, uh, not exactly _ideal_ , for either of us, I imagine… I mean, you probs don’t like me much. But, well, this is how it is, now, so, uh… we’re gonna get used to it. So that means fun Christmas shopping bonding time. Which you are going to enjoy. _Whether you **like it or not**_.”

“…are you trying to… _threaten_ me… into having a _good time_?”

“Oh, **_hell_** yeah.”

He laughed. It sounded surprisingly genuine, and you almost lost focus on the road in front of you at the sound, you were so surprised. It sounded… nice?

Well. At least he was appreciating your absurdity, too.

You smiled a bit to yourself, feeling more at ease than you’d expected to on this trip. Yeah, okay. This was good. This was _very_ good.

You were starting to feel that maybe it wasn’t a wholly stupid decision you’d made and that things might turn out okay.

Still smiling, you carefully leaned forward to look through the window of the car, pulling into the mall parking lot with all the driver’s ed competency as you could manage. “Well… we’re here.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Edgy pop his head out of the pocket again; then he groaned. “great. a place festering with humans even more than a regular human store,” he drawled, slumping out of your pocket again and narrowing his eyes.

“Oh, shush. You’ve been adopted now, so you’d better get used to it: You’re gonna be dealing with humans a _lot_ from now on.”

“whatever…” He waved dismissively as he drooped back into the pocket. Yes, drooped—like he was made of goo and just slid down into a puddle. “let’s just get this over with.” 

Being careful to remember to lock the car, you strolled into the nearest store, taking in the bright decorations and the cheery atmosphere. You couldn’t help but sigh in relief—you hadn’t really bothered to decorate your own place yet, but… seeing all the Christmas-themed things made you feel a little more chipper.

“First, we’re gonna get some decorations, then food and candy or whatever, then we’ll go to the bitty section and get some stuff,” you rattled off quickly, not caring enough to be any more specific than that. Thankfully, Edgy didn’t seem to give a damn either and you got to work.

You stocked up on some cute ornaments that caught your eye, some cheap fake tree Christmas-y branch things whatever they were called, ribbons, and whatever you thought seemed within your budget and could think of a place for it in your apartment. Then you went to another store and began piling up on probably more candy than you should, but hey, that was the perk of being an adult: if you wanted to ruin your health, then by god, nobody could stop you but your own body giving out on you. Edgy made a grunt of surprise at all the crap you were stocking up on, but said nothing, half-disappointing you, as you were fully prepared for some witty banter. Oh, well.

Finally, you headed over to the bitty-themed accessory and foods store, and you lightly tugged at the rim of the pocket. “Hey, bud. Time for your input now.”

“nnngh?” Apparently having started to doze off, the Edgy sat up in your pocket and half-heartedly peered out of the top. “what th’ fuck do you need _me_ for?” he grumbled drowsily, eye sockets squinting tiredly as he gazed out over the store.

You snorted. “I’m getting you shit, dumbass. You have one pair of clothes and they _stink_. Besides, you can get more than just food I got for Sansy, if you have different tastes, and you probably do.”

The bitty stilled, then slowly looked up at you. “…you’re getting me shit,” he repeated, deadpan. “… _why_?”

You squinted down at him indifferently. “Uhhh… cuz your clothes are shredded and I didn’t just wanna make you share Sans’s? And, again, cuz food. This isn’t difficult, Edge, just tell me what foods you want and what clothes you’d like and try not to get too many things.”

“unngh…” The red bitty shifted a bit, seeming unsettled. “you’re… you’re not just gonna buy shit for your sansy?” he asked, red eye-lights peering up at you questioningly. Huh, you think that was the first time he’d ever said Sansy’s name, or nickname you supposed. Without a sneer or sarcastic edge, no less.

Huffing, you attempted to shift the many bags you were holding as you felt your arms getting sore. “I mean, _yeah_ , I’m gonna get him shit too, but like, uh, you’re living here too now. So I mean, if all you want is Sansy’s seconds, then by all means, be my guest, but uh, if you don’t pick anything, I’ll at least get you some other clothes cuz I’m sick of seeing that grungy jacket of yours.”

“ugh, fine, i get it, bitch,” he griped, shoving his hands in his pockets, but the insult sounded rather flat. “go ahead, then. i’ll point out what looks good to me while you do whatever shit you want.”

You ended up going through the store, the red bitty being surprisingly chill throughout the whole experience as you picked up some things that caught your eye, as well as stuff you’d already planned on, trying to be somewhat subtle about it but not worrying too much over it. From time to time, Edgy would pipe up and point out an outfit hanging that you’d passed that he liked. Naturally, most of the clothing items he pointed out were either red or black, but occasionally he’d ask for something gold or white. He also pointed out a bottle of magic mustard, which you raised an eyebrow at but obliged. “You skeletons and your condiments…” you murmured, and he just snorted at you somewhat derisively.

Once you’d grabbed everything and began to check things out, you winced a bit as the total began wracking up, but said nothing. _Damn it, I might have to get a job again soon…_ you mused before collecting everything and carrying your (somewhat ridiculous) collection of bags out of the mall.

The bitty was quiet for a bit as you sat down in the car and began preparing to leave. “…(y/n)?” he said softly, startling you immensely.

“Uh. Yeah, bud? What’s up?” you asked, trying to keep the utterly flummoxed expression off your face as you internally scrambled. _He just said **my name!** My actual **name** and not some condescending pet name! Gently?!?!???_

“…it’s nothing,” he said finally, then disappeared into your pocket. “what the fuck are you waiting for? let’s go home already. damn, and i though i was supposed to be the brainless one.”

Chuckling slightly in disbelief, you started up the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

_…Yeah._

_Things are looking up, aren’t they?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahahaha~ Wow I went a lot of places with this one. I was really struggling with the whole being light headed all the time thing while I was writing this, so I wasn't really sure where I wanted it to go?? Haha. But I think I'm WAY more happy with the end result than I expected to be. This came out really, really cute! I hope the fluff/borderline smut was satisfying!
> 
> I hope Edgy doesn't seem to be softening up too suddenly here. I still was trying to make him rough around the edges (hehehe). He'll soften up eventually, but it won't happen too quickly! (I hope.) 
> 
> About the comments on last chapter... 
> 
> Wowie, I read all the chapters of His Name Was Bob and I gotta say I'm gonna lose my mind. I'm slowly sifting through the fics y'all have recommended. You can keep sending any in if you find any, by the way! That question is still open! 
> 
> I also got answers ALL over the board about the Reader's SOUL. Hehehehe. I'm glad that I'm not being too on-the-nose, but I hope the deliberation about her soul is more about the sum of all her traits, and not that I'm writing her too inconsistently! 
> 
> Hopefully the next chapter will be up before, or on, Christmas. I'll work on it as much as I can! I don't wanna miss the Christmas cut-off, even though my head's making me dizzy all the time. I really really really enjoy the warm reception I get to this stuff! I don't wanna let anyone down here.
> 
> Well, feel free to leave any questions, comments, or concerns about this chapter or the story so far. You can also throw out ideas of stuff you'd like to see.
> 
> Till next time! Sayonara~


	8. Christmas.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AKA., "Sleep is for the weak." 
> 
> In which Sans hides his feelings and you all try to just have a nice Christmas experience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiiiiii guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuysssssssssssss
> 
> It's 4 AM here as I'm posting thissssssssssssssssss 
> 
> I knew I wouldn't be able to post it later if I didn't finish it now lmao 
> 
> I've got relatives and shit over lol
> 
> Anyways I hope this chapter's okay. It's mostly just lewd stuff in the beginning, then just... fluff. Not too much drama goin' on here. Domestic, Christmas fun.
> 
> Don't worry, we'll be back to our regularly-scheduled pain train soon enough. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy ;P

Sans leaned against the wall, gripping his ribcage and panting heavily, eye flickering.

_Kid… God. Kids like you… should be less of a dumbass._

He was _pretty_ sure you had no idea, or at least he _hoped_ you were oblivious; but there was also the off chance that you _did_ know and were deliberately toying with his feelings.

…No… no. You weren’t like that. You were a lot of things, for sure… obstinate… thoughtful… perceptive… headstrong… mischievous… But not deliberately **_cruel_**. _Teasingly_ so, maybe. But you weren’t the type to be manipulative and cruel in the spiteful sense.

Which meant you honestly had no idea.

Damn.

_Maybe I’ll tell you someday… but for now, heh, I just don’t have the **guts** , _he thought, smiling shakily to himself as he imagined delivering that line to you.

Yeah…

He did that a lot.

Practicing his puns and jokes and harmless pranks ahead of time, imagining your face when you reacted to it—either you’d pretend to be mad (which he knew was just embarrassment or thinly-disguised appreciation), return with a joke or dry remark of your own… or you’d allow your humor to shine through, chuckling under your breath, or a playful glare and light-hearted admonishment…

Initially, that was what drew him to you. Well, your laid-back, gentle attitude and your determination to do the right or compassionate thing, too. That was definitely a large part of it. And especially your willingness to go out of your way to do the right thing… your will to be a good person, to keep trying… and if the recent developments were anything to go by, your hopes that anybody could be a good person, if they just tried…

That, _and_ the light-hearted jokes and the faux anger and occasional playing along.

Both of those things.

They reminded him of ~~his b~~ … **someone he used to know.**

Someone he used to care about very dearly.

They were trying to be a good person, too. And they always saw the best in people—it was a trait that Sans admired, despite his personal reservations and his own failings. And putting up with Sans’s antics… pretending to get mad at his puns and jokes… smiling despite themselves…

…

Yeah… he… he missed… that person.

In any case, that was originally why he’d wanted to get to know you better. Sure, you were different, and visibly laxer and laid-back than ~~P~~ ~~his~~ them, but the similarities were almost enough to fill the void in his SOUL. If he remembered the person that he used to know, then he could find it in him to keep moving forward.

Obviously, in the beginning, it was purely platonic. Curiosity. Loneliness. Appreciation at having a pun-buddy.

But turns out when you stick around somebody long enough, you start recognizing the individuality of their SOUL.

You weren’t the same as the person he used to know. You shared some traits—the best ones, even—but at your core, the two of you were two different people. Such was the nature of a soul, after all. The culmination of your entire life, experiences, desires, and of course, defining traits. Even if you shared the same defining traits, or if the culmination of your being led to the same actions and end results, you still would never truly be the same.

The same. But also, different.

And ultimately… it was those differences that intrigued him even more, rather than simply a reflection of what he’d lost. Both physically and internally.

Of course, the internal part mattered a lot more to him, really. Monsters, after all, place more importance on the soul contents of someone than the physical.

Not… not that he wasn’t… entirely unaffected by the physical aspect. Well… not… not that he cared _before_ , you know. It’s not like he had any particular thing for human anatomy specifically, you know, before. But, uh. Things changed. After everything. Before things changed. Yeah.

Damn it, this was why he didn’t try to talk about this. He wasn’t good with words. Or at least, words of the non-joke-y, or at least non-science-y/direct kind. _These_ sorts of words were difficult. He was more of the… quiet type. Steady, easy-going presence, ready to step in whenever things started going south, but otherwise content to just observe. Watch from the sidelines. Interpret. Judge.

Which was why it was _SO UNSETTLING WHEN YOU FORCED HIM INTO THE SPOTLIGHT AND FOCUSED ON HIM AND MADE HIM **SQUIRM** AND **WHINE** AND MAKE A FOOL OF HIMSELF WITH SO MUCH DIRECT IN-YOUR-FACE INTERACTION **GODDAMN** IT!!!_

**_GOD!_ **

**_DAMN IT!!!!_ **

Sans buried his face under the fabric and yelled at the top of his non-existent lungs.

_WHY!_

_KID!!!_

_You’re making things **VERY** difficult to stay **under CONTROL, here!!!**_

Sans was _not_ the type to get caught off-guard easily. He went with the flow. Uncomfortable situations would come and go; he could roll with whatever unpleasant experiences came his way, the expert at the ol’ turn-around as he was, and again, he was _perfectly_ content just _sitting_ and **_watching_** when things were going well, or just being a _casual_ participant. If things were going particularly badly, then he’d slide into anger. Equally controlled anger. Everything was always deliberate. No room for mistakes.

But he wasn’t used to the opposite direction. He wasn’t used to… **_this_**. Not in the least.

…He wasn’t sure whether he hated the way you made him feel out of control or if he loved it.

He bit the fabric, trying to muffle the noise as much as he could as he yelled again, his face feeling positively flushed with magic.

His face, and everything else.

His face, and… and…

_Her warm breath…_

_Soft hands…_

_Devious smile…_

_… **Wet…** s-soft… **tongue…!**_

He panted heavily, biting the fabric harder, mentally pleading _oh god please don’t let me tear through the fabric_ as he practically whimpered, rubbing his skull against the pile harder.

_Kid…_ he squeezed his eyes shut, chest heaving as quietly as he possibly could make it as he rubbed his body against the clothes pile. _…You’re not playing fair, here._

Ah, yes, the pile of clothes on the top shelf in the back of the closet.

Judging by the thin layer of (non-monster) dust covering the very back of it, you didn’t often check way up here in the back of your closet, so this was a good place to hide. And he definitely did not want to risk being walked in on right now.

He gritted his teeth, trying not to whine, shoving his hands over his shorts and willing the bulge to die down. Unfortunately, as much as he tried to return the magic to his SOUL, he couldn’t will the erection away.

_Great,_ Sans thought wearily, scrubbing furiously, and ineffectively, at his pelvis. _Not even in heat and I got worked up so easily…_

He continued his fruitless attempts to force and torment it away, then, in a fit of desperate fury, yanked his pants off with a low growl and vigorously worked at his dick, torn between stroking it to relieve it and applying vicious pressure to kill it off. Unfortunately, he was aroused enough that even the pain was stimulation enough to maintain the excitement. Frantically, he squeezed his eyes shut and continued his alternating attempts to work out the arousal and fighting it off, going, _Damn it, damn it, oh god no no no—_

“Saaaans!” Sans heard you call, and instantly he froze, trying to remain as silent and still as possible. “Come on, come out!”

**_Nonononononononononononononononononono_ ** _oh god why did I take my shorts off oh god oh no oh **fuck** —_

_Please don’t look please pleasepleaseplease **please** —_

He heard you sigh. “Come on, Sansy,” you called out, almost in a whine, “I said I’m sorry… jeez, I didn’t mean to upset you that badly… Look, I’m gonna go Christmas shopping, okay? I’ll buy you something nice as an apology.”

Desperately horny and completely horrified with embarrassment, he twitched impatiently and buried himself further under the pile of clothes. _No no no it’s okay go ahead it’s fine I’m not upset just go it’s totally okay don’t worry_ he thought frantically, and he would’ve said as much if he weren’t both unsure he could maintain the control in his voice and terrified at the thought of giving away his location.

“…Come on, you’ve been hiding for like, half an hour… Please, come out…”

He clenched his jaw tightly as he heard your sigh and the sounds of things being pushed around, probably you looking for him.

_No it’s okay it’s okay just leave don’t worry about me I’m just—I’m just—uh, embarrassed I’ll be fine just go go go go—_

Almost as though you’d heard his thoughts, after a good five or so minutes of searching and calling his name, he heard you sigh again and your back popping as you straightened (he shuddered at the sound, flushing bluer and once again biting on the nearest piece of fabric). “Okay, okay. You’re probably just too embarrassed to look at me right now. I’ll just go without you, then, don’t worry. Uh, jeez, I don’t even know if you’re in here… maybe you can’t even hear me… Oh, he—no, there’s no way he just left the apartment entirely… right? Nnn… well… I guess… even if he did, he’s capable of getting back himself… he—he wouldn’t just leave forever without a word… Yeah. Uh, anyways! If you’re listening, I’m going to go to the mall and get some Christmas stuff… I’ll, uh, take Edgy with me… uh… Well… See you once I get back, sweetheart.”

Sans sighed in relief from where he was half-listening as the door shut behind you. Still clenching the fabric between his teeth, he continued his self-pleasure for a bit, hearing muffled sounds of talking and occasionally the door to the bedroom opening and you walking around, until after a few minutes, it fell quiet. He dared to release the fabric in his mouth, then heaved a soft groan, panting from the built-up frustration, finally allowing himself to… re…lax…

…

He shuddered as he took a breath and stood, blinking his blue eye into existence, allowing him to locate his discarded shorts in the dark. Sans shakily shuffled over, snatched them up, and yanked them back onto himself, sighing to himself. He hadn’t reached his peak, but, well, he’d more just needed to ease the throbbing building in his pelvis. It’d finally died down enough for him to think clearly, for the most part at least.

_Heh. The nice thing is I never have to worry about **getting blue balls** if I already **have them.**_

Sans chuckled lowly to himself.

But really, he didn’t want to risk having to clean out his mess out of your clothes.

…

Speaking of… now was as good of a time as any to look at them, he mused.

He refocused his blue eye, shining brighter in the dark until he could see _almost_ well enough to pass for night-vision. Sans returned to the area he’d been laying in, eye flicking over the surface until he found the tiniest wet spot from where he’d been biting.

Meh. It was so small you’d never notice. Besides, it wasn’t like his saliva would stain it. …Probably.

He lifted the fabric and studied it properly. Huh. It was some sort of… tacky holiday sock.

Oh, man. That was so very like you.

His “permanent” smile twitched even wider in amusement at the cheesy sock covered in festive lights and some sort of candles. Setting down the sock, he squinted, looking over the general pile he’d been hiding on, viewing all sorts of human holiday-themed clothing: some pajama pants bearing skeletons (much to his amusement), some shirts with—…souls…? “Hearts”…?—covering them, and a fair share of other, similar holiday-themed clothing. _Like… the human Gyftmas. Christmas…? Right! Right._ He smiled to himself proudly, then eyed the other items again. _Let’s see… so then the skeletons are for, heh, the monster-based holiday… Hallows Eve, I presume? Then the souls, they used to think represented their hearts, so—…_

…

He squinted at the pile of clothes in front of him, suddenly mentally rewinding.

_She said… she was going Christmas shopping. She was trying to invite me. But when she gave up, she said… she said…_

If Sans had any blood in his body, it would’ve all rushed out of his face instantly, but as it stood, his already pristine-white skull simply froze, blue eye disappearing and leaving his eye sockets vacant.

_She **took the damn EDGY?!?!??**_

Instantly, he took his shortcuts through the apartment as quickly as he could, blipping outside of the apartment and on top of the railing, eyes wildly scanning the streets. Frustrated, he took a couple more shortcuts to the parking lot below, eyes scanning your empty parking spot before he slumped against the concrete.

Damn. You hadn’t been gone for _too_ long, admittedly—maybe five minutes—but even so, there was no way he could _possibly_ catch up with you, even if he knew exactly where you were (he didn’t) and could teleport nonstop to reach you (he couldn’t).

**_Damn_ ** _it._

He hit his skull lightly against the curb with a dull _thunk._

…

He really did just _keep_ fucking up, didn’t he?

Oversleeping while you were getting attacked by the Edgy the first morning…

Nearly letting him get away that first night…

Or perhaps **_not_** letting him get away, both that night or when he first saw him on the roof…

Hell, he should’ve cornered him while you were still pinning him down to get a good look at his SOUL, so he could’ve warned you ahead of time…

…

And now this… his perversion getting in the way of protecting you… distracting him from the clear and present danger he’d promised himself he’d never let hurt you.

…

**_I should have dusted him when I had the chance._ **

…

He cracked his eye-sockets open, staring hollowly at the cement.

_…No… she… she never would’ve forgiven me. And I wouldn’t have blamed her, either._

He sighed again deeply, giving one last half-hearted glare as he visually scanned the parking lot before taking shortcuts back into your apartment and sitting solemnly behind 

If she didn’t come back… Well. He wouldn’t think about that. Not yet.

_On days like these, kids like you… should really stop being such a dumbass._

* * *

After finally getting home after your shopping trip, you’d been greeted with a near-frantic, almost murderous Sansy. It was quite stressful reassuring him you were alright and that _yes, I’m okay_ and _yes, I got the collar on him all by myself_ and _no, Edgy really didn’t do anything wrong whatsoever, I promise he kept himself under control_. After that period of 20 questions, Sansy seemed relieved, then an odd expression came across his face, and he disappeared for a while. 20 minutes later he was back, seeming utterly relaxed as though he hadn’t been about to obliterate the red bitty not even half an hour before, and completely serene. While his sudden flip in his behavior was jarring… admittedly, it was sort of… reassuring, as well. You’d secretly been paranoid that he’d avoid you like the plague, after the somewhat-cruel teasing on your part and then the subsequent stunt you’d pulled. Thankfully, he seemed not to be holding it against you in the slightest.

Days turned into a little more than a week, and the weather finally dropped, much to your relief… then dropped again, which left you feeling incredibly peeved. At least the snow somewhat compensated for the shitty weather.

Fuck the sun, and fuck the clouds, too, while you’re at it.

You’d finally gotten Edgy out of his grimy clothes and convinced him to bathe himself in your sink with the bitty soap, on the condition he could lock the door from the inside and toss his clothes outside the door so he “wouldn’t have to deal with gross-ass humans like you tryna get a looksie.” You smelled the shredded outfit that he’d been wearing and immediately recoiled at how disgusting it was. You were sorely tempted to just toss the whole thing out, but you figured you didn’t want to risk the small skeleton’s wrath, instead just opting to clean it in the clothes washer. Multiple times. The scent didn’t fully disappear, but at least it was less prominent than before. Since then, he’d at least looked better. He alternated between wearing a black jacket with a red t-shirt and black shorts with a red stripe down the side, (a new and thicker) red coat with a black t-shirt and white shorts, and occasionally mixing either of those with a gold jacket/coat or white shorts with a gold stripe on each side of his waist.

Something told you he really liked being able to wear clean white clothes again after living on the streets for… however long he’d been out there.

…And he liked wearing gold because of the ego-trip.

…

Although… as much as you appreciated the vast difference in his cleanliness…

It did seem to bring out that crack on the left side of his skull a bit more when he was otherwise clean and polished.

You decided not to mention it to him.

As time went on, you and Sansy ended up decorating together, with the sum of the things you’d bought from the store as well as the very few things you’d had in storage. Edgy… well, sometimes it _almost_ seemed like he was trying to be nice. Sometimes he’d move around an ornament or two. Once while you were putting up the (fake, store-bought, barely three-fourths-of-your-height) tree, he popped up out of nowhere and used a magic bone to push it straight before it could topple over on you, then immediately blipped away. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he was okay with the situation.

But then, sometimes…

“Edgy, for the love of god, don’t—” **_SHATTER._** “…Greeeaaat. For god’s sake, you couldn’t have waited to do that until _after_ Christmas? Save me the trouble of packing it up for next year just to forget about it and buy new ornaments only to find them again in June and realize that I literally couldn’t care less about them and throw them away _then_? No, you had to break them _early_ so I have to go back and get more that I’ll throw away in June.”

Your hands were on your hips as you glowered at the offending pint-sized skeleton. Sansy stood on a shelf close to your shoulder; you had to give him credit for not saying anything, even though you could feel his silent displeasure rolling off of him in waves.

“heh. sorry, sweet-cheeks,” he drawled, stepping through the shards of the ornament he’d very deliberately stolen and made a show of shattering on the ground. “i just hate the color. couldn’t stand to see it hangin’ on that stupid-ass tree.”

Admittedly, the odd faux-gold, off-shade yellowish ornament wasn’t particularly attractive to you, either, but like _hell_ you were gonna bring that up.

“Okay then, _fucker_ ,” you hissed, “then you could’ve mentioned that when we were **_buying_** it in the **_first place_**. But _nooooo_. Instead you had to break it _now_. AFTER I bought it. **_Right_** when I was about to **_put it on the tree!_** ”

He grinned lazily and leaned on an empty ornament box, pretending to admire his nails. You could’ve sworn that you’d seen Sansy do that before, but it was _infinitely_ more irritating coming from the half-pint murderer. “fine, then, if it bothers you so damn much… just get some glue and throw the damn thing back together. surely even a big ol’ clumsy-ass human like you can do that much.”

Your face dropped into a semi-disbelieving expression. _Are you fucking **kidding** me? _ You gave a short huff of irritation. “Okay. First of all, if **_anyone_** was gonna be gluing that damn thing back together, then that would be _you_ , buddy. Second of all, I _don’t_ own any fucking **_glue_**. Maybe a fuckin’ glue stick is buried somewhere, but sure as hell not anything that’d be useful for _that_.” 

Edgy’s face dropped into something distinctly unimpressed. “ya don’t even have fuckin’ _glue_?”

“No! No, I don’t! And guess what? That means **_you’re_** gonna be cleaning up that damn mess of an ornament you made!”

Sans finally chimed in. “you don’t have any glue, kiddo?” he asked. He… sounded concerned. You did not like that.

“Uhhh… No? I’m sorry? Okay, but really. Like. Is that a thing? Do people just like… _have_ glue? Normally? I mean, look at me! What the hell reason would I ever have to buy glue? Hell, it took me six months of living alone just to buy a stapler! SIX. MONTHS!” When Edgy scoffed at that, you fixed your glower on him again. “Oh, I’m sorry, do I **_look_** like a fuckin’ arts and crafts teacher to you? No? Then **_can_** it, fucker, and clean the damn mess you made before I put you in the damn freezer.”

Edgy gave you a sharp-toothed grin and you immediately regretted your threat when he responded with vicious glee, “don’t worry, darlin’, i don’t mind the cold. it _goes right through me._ ”

If it was Sansy delivering the punchline, it would’ve made you crack a smile despite yourself, even if you were mad. Coming from Edgy, though, the joke mostly just made you flare up with rage and made you want to punch a hole in the wall.

Preferably with the bitty between your fist and the wall.

You channeled every ounce of self-control in your body to merely level your scorching glare at the bitty who, disappointingly, did not burst into flames, nor begin begging for forgiveness. “Clean. It. Up,” you hissed simply.

“aww, you’re gonna make the poor little bitty clean up?” Edgy made the most obnoxiously droopy and pouty face he could possibly manage, looking like an incredibly upsetting combination between a Cherry and a Baby Blue. Naturally, it looked absurd and infuriating, which was probably exactly what he was going for. “b-but i’m just a widdle bitty! m-mama! you wouldn’t make w-w-widdle ol’ helpless _me_ clean up after such a _big mess_ , would you, _mama_?”

“Yeah, okay. Time to go to the box. The next time you call me ‘mama’ will be the last breath you take.”

“b-bu-but **_MAMAAaaaAAaaaAAAA!_** ” he squealed, in a gratingly whiny voice that somehow managed to feel as though it was physically tearing into your eardrums, that would have been _dangerously_ close to pushing you to reconsidering that punching-a-bitty-into-a-wall, if Sans had not popped into existence beside him, teleported, and returned, dusting off his hands.

“he’s in the box, kiddo.”

“Oh, thank god. Thank you, Sans.” You sighed heavily, giving a weary look to the shattered ornament.

“don’t worry ’bout it, kiddo. i can clean it up for ya. isn’t right to make you clean up a bitty’s mess.”

You pinched your nose and shook your head. “No, no, it’s okay, I’ll do it, you weren’t the one who did it, that bastard did it, don’t try to claim responsibility for him, besides, you already put him in the box…”

“he’s a fellow sans, and _sans_ his cooperation, it’s only right i step in. it’s the least i can do.”

“Sans, Sans, no, no, look. I’ll do it. Seriously. I’ll go get the broom and the dustpan. It’s too much of a mess for you to deal with and I adopted the both of you anyway. Let me handle it, it’s my responsibility.”

In the time it took you to find the broom and dustpan and come back, every single last shard had disappeared while a smug-looking Sansy pretended to look innocent.

You ended up going over it with the broom just in case (after all, glass shards in your foot is not the most pleasant surprise), but he seemed to have been very, very thorough.

Damn skeleton and his damn good-natured personality and jokes and his damn amazing magic.

The days came and went, and you ended up dragging the skeletons, separately (on Sans’s turn you’d left Edgy in the box), to go back to the mall to pick out what they wanted to gift each other.

Both of them were in disbelief and gave you equally unamused deadpan expressions.

“kid. kiddo. buddy. really. kid, i appreciate you tryin’ to be nice to him and all, i really do, but, uh. whatever good you think is gonna come out of tryin’ to get me to give him somethin’… it’s not gonna happen.”

“…sweet-cheeks. darlin’. lookie here. i ain’t no fuckin’ cuddle-buddy, and i ain’t ’bout to get chummy with your ‘widdle _saaaansy_ ’. you can forget about your fuckin’ cute-ass fantasy where we end up poppin’ daisies and holding hands and skippin’ into the sunset on your damn unicorn. i don’t get off on popping your damn fantasy bubble, but, uh, i’d like to get this through your skull: it’s not happening.”

To which you responded, respectively:

“Oh, c’mon, Sans! Look, it’s for me as much as it’s for him. I don’t know what an Edgy likes! …Don’t give me that look…—besides the whole, uh, edgy color scheme type shit. And mustard, apparently. You seem to know much more about Edgies than I do. C’mon. It’ll be a learning experience for me. I’d really appreciate it and I don’t wanna just repurpose what I already got. Come on, Sans. Please? For me?”

“Yeah, I thought you’d say that. Sans figured you were too weak to even try to pretend to play nice for 24 hours. He wanted to get you something just so he could rub in your face how childish and uh, ‘spineless’ you were, you know, by comparison. I just wanted to give you a fair shot at giving ’im the bird, but I mean. It’s your prerogative. I’ve got better things to do than try to even the playing field. See ya.”

…

Nobody said you couldn’t be manipulative when you wanted to be.

Finally, Christmas Eve came and went, and both of the skeletons seemed varying levels of cross and suspicious at their gifts under the tree (Edgy about both of yours’, Sans just in regard to Edgy’s present).

Christmas morning, you woke up feeling surprisingly light and airy. You got up and began to get ready for the day.

“Merry Christmas, you guys!~” you cooed.

Sans blipped into existence… wearing the Santa costume you’d gotten for him. You’d already started giggling before he’d even finished his sentence. “merry christmas, kiddo. hey, are you a present that fell out of my sleigh? cuz i’ve been lookin’ for _you_ everywhere.”

You just snorted even harder. “Oh my god! Are you flirting with me, now? Christmas flirting, no less? Is that what we’re doing?”

He winked. “aw, that’s an awfully _ice-cold_ rejection. and here i was prepared to _gift_ you with some _kisses_.” He pulled out a chocolate kiss that you’d put in his tiny “stocking”, and you nearly lost it.

“Christ, I’ve been up for five minutes, Sans, I’m not ready for this!”

“right, right. guess you’d better get going. i’ll _melt_ your heart someday.” He popped open the wrapper and gave a long, deliberate lick, dissolving the surface ever-so-slightly, before winking at you again.

You groaned through your giggles and promptly walked around him, huffing in fake anger. “Quiet, Sansta, I’ve got things to do. Hey, where’s Edgy?” 

He popped the rest of the kiss in his mouth (yes, the entire kiss, and yes, it was bigger than should have been able to disappear into his mouth like that; you knew better than to question it at this point for fear of another answer of _“maaaagic”_ ), then gestured behind him into the living room. “he hasn’t broken anything yet. so i guess that’s a good sign.”

You nodded and headed out into the living room, seeing Edgy fiddling with the stocking you’d got for him that was about half his height, watching with some amusement as he stared at the “candy coal” gum with eye-lights practically falling out of his head.

“Hey, it’s funny, right?” He jumped and swiveled his head around to look at you, then grumbled and turned away. “I love the coal gum. Got some for myself, too.” You walked over to your stocking and pulled out the aforementioned bag of candy coal, opening it and popping a small handful in your mouth.

“why did you get yourself presents and stuffed your own stocking and shit?” came Edgy’s inevitable question, and you shrugged and smirked, pushing the glob of gum into a cheek in the corner of your mouth.

“’Cuz it gives me an excuse to gorge on treats and shit,” you responded honestly, giving a cheeky grin.

The day seemed to go… surprisingly well, if you were being honest. Could’ve gone better, but still, surprisingly well. Sure, there was the general tension in the air, and every time you left the two of them alone, it seemed like the wrapping paper had been poked full of holes…? They never admitted to anything happening beyond the normal present-opening process, and you gave up asking, focusing on having fun instead.

Sans had gotten yet another thing of ketchup—expensive shit, no less—from you, as well as a couple new outfits, and some small tools for research and note-taking… and the mouse costume, which you pulled him aside to open, so that he wouldn’t be humiliated in front of Edgy.

You witnessed his face go through all the stages of grief before losing it on the spot, cackling wildly as his face turned many different shades of blue.

“Oh, god, I’m so sorry but oh my god that was so funny I can’t handle it,” you wheezed, trying not to break with the laughter.

“…heh.” His voice was small, even more so than usual, but still with a smile in his voice. “guess the cat’s out of the bag, now, then.”

“…Huh?” you questioned, still somewhat giggling, only for him to disappear and reappear, holding something wrapped in your gift-wrapping paper. “…Huh,” you repeated, eyes wide, laughter suddenly dying in your throat. “…Sans?”

“heh, yeah, i know.” he chuckled sheepishly and handed it to you. “i didn’t do anything too crazy. i just sorta dug through your supplies. you ain’t an arts and crafts teacher or anythin’, but you got a lotta junk. no offense.” You just laughed in slight disbelief and he continued. “so, uh… i pieced that together with what i could find. hope ya like it.”

You practically beamed at him, then carefully ripped through the wrapping paper, tracing the outline of the object until you finally managed to get it open. First fell out a marker… then you freed the headband with the felt ears attached to it.

“…Oh my god.” You lost yourself to the giggles again, laughing uncontrollably. “Th—the fuckin’ c- _cat_ thing! Oh my g- _goddd_!”

“merry christmas, kiddo.” He seemed very pleased. “wait, wait. hold still.”

“Whaaatt?” The marker began glowing with a faint blue light flowing around it, much to your surprise. “Oh my god what the fuck—”

“sshh, shhh, stay still,” he admonished, still smiling, as he carefully moved his hands; the lid of the marker popped off and was gently lowered to the counter, and then the marker slowly moved to your face.

“If you draw something weird on my face then you’re sleeping in the freezer,” you muttered.

Sans only laughed again, sounding almost delighted. “wouldn’t dream of it, kiddo.”

After he finished, you hurried to the bathroom to see the lines on your cheeks.

“Yup, I’m a cat alright,” you remarked to yourself, smirking despite yourself, the smile unable to be suppressed despite your best efforts as you placed the kitty headband on your head. By the time you headed out again, you ended up choking with laughter when you saw him casually reclining in the “draw me like one of your French girls” position on the divider, wearing the mouse costume.

“God. Sans, I’m gonna kill you.” Despite the empty threat, you grinned toothily, and he grinned back.

From Edge, he got… well, it wasn’t a bomb, at least. He got spicy ketchup. Judging by the look the two of them shared, there was a story behind that one.

As for Edgy himself… you figured you didn’t want to make him feel like you didn’t get him much, but you also didn’t want to overwhelm him. From you, he got a couple brands of mustard, some various monster foods, bitty hygiene products including a specialized tooth-cleaner for his knives-for-teeth, and some accessories—a _non_ -magic-cancelling collar that was purely for aesthetics with the whole spikey dog-collar thing, for one, and then a tiny gold-chain necklace. You weren’t sure if he would like them or not, but figured it was better than nothing. His expression was very hard to read when he opened them, and it’s not like he was gonna thank you, so, well, you still weren’t sure if he liked them.

From Sans, he got… some sort of… book. Bitty-sized. Maybe just a tad bigger than your fingernail and maybe four times as thick. Sans had gotten a simple bitty notebook at the store, but clearly had done further work with it since then, to the point even the outside cover was different.

An entirely different strange expression crossed Edgy’s face when he received this present, and with surprising care, he set it aside to look through the other gifts. Not long after that, Edgy disappeared, and you’d almost worry he’d somehow ran away if it weren’t for the bitty-house (now returned to your desk) occasionally flickering lights.

You yawned widely, draping your arm over the back of the couch and snuggling up under the blanket, empty hot chocolate mug in hand. Sans looked at you from his perch and smirked.

“tired, huh? can’t say i blame you. i’m feeling—”

“ _Don’t—_ ”

“— _bone tired_ myself.” You hissed lightly in disgust, and he only gave another laugh.

“You’ve used that one too many times already! Get some new material…!” You gave another yawn, eyeing the clock on the wall. Jeez, was it really only just past 6? Stupid winter changing the lengths of the day… it was already almost entirely dark out… aside from the Christmas lights you could see from your back balcony…

“heh, sorry. i guess i’ve picked my joke materials to the bone.”

You groaned, shutting your eyes, too worn out to even question if that joke made sense. “ _Anyway_ …” you said pointedly, cracking your eyes open to glare at the shit-eating smirk the skeleton was giving, “I’m not _that_ tired. It’s just been a bit busy today. You know. And lately. I’m just gonna rest my eyes for a minute, here, then I’ll…” Yawn. “Go to bed.”

Sans smirked a bit more and shrugged, then appeared on your chest, beginning to curl up. “sure, sure, sounds good,” he drawled. “just wake me up when we’re movin’.”

Yet another yawn escaped you. “Yeah, yeah, it won’t even be that long. I’m just gonna rest my eyes for a second. We’ll be in bed soon! Don’t get too comfy…”

“’k.”

You just sighed a bit more, then allowed your eyes to shut again.

Yeah, you just needed a little wink of sleep here. You weren’t gonna fall asleep, just rest your eyes a second.

Yeah.

You’d open your eyes any moment now.

Aaaany second now.

Aaanny second.

…

Just…

…

resting

…

…

your…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooowoooooo~
> 
> Tell me if ya think this chapter was too dull. I wanted it to be fluffy Christmas stuff, but I also wanted to mention Sans's uh, dilemma... 
> 
> At the very least, this chapter is L O N G . So it'll hopefully tide you over a bit. 
> 
> Merry Christmas, guys! Or whatever else you celebrate ;P
> 
> As for questions... 
> 
> I guess this time, just tell me your thoughts on the quality and pacing of this chapter and if it felt too filler-y... (or any other things you noticed you'd like to point out... that's always fair game) 
> 
> And tell me what you got for Christmas! :3 (If you celebrate it!)
> 
> Meeerrryyy Christmas~ And I'll just leave ya with a blip of my favorite Christmas song before I go to sleep. (Because god do I need it.)
> 
> Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...   
> Jack Frost nipping at your nose...  
> Yule tide carols, being sung by a choir,   
> And folks, dressed up like eskimos...  
> Everybody know,   
> Aaaa turkey, and some mistletoooee~  
> Help to maaake, the season briiight~   
> Tiny tots, with their eeeeyes all agloooow~   
> Will find it hard to sleep, tonight...  
> [...]  
> And so, I'm offering this simple phrase,  
> To kids... from one to ninety-two...  
> Although it's been said, many times, many ways--  
> Merry Christmas...~  
> Meeerry Christmaaas...  
> Meerry Christmaaasss...  
> To...  
> Youuuu...~


	9. Tick. Tock.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time passes unceasingly, whether a soul wants it or not.
> 
> Edgy is not truly content to be trapped in a home with a human and a Sansy. 
> 
> Also... you need a job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phhhhew! orz 
> 
> Hiiiii everyone! I'm baaaack! It only took like... 6 months... haha...
> 
> For those who saw my author's note that previously existed here, it took a bit longer than I expected to finish this chapter, but hey. A little over a week isn't bad...! 
> 
> (For anyone curious to what I said pre-deletion... I'll drop it in the end notes after the chapter lol.) 
> 
> This was a bit of a rough start (or re-continuation, in this case)... but hopefully, this chapter marks the beginning of another period of consistent updates and quality content. Even if this chapter isn't 100% satisfactory, it's a lovely start to a new beginning. 
> 
> For the record... this chapter takes place back in winter, even though irl it's... summertime now. Just so you don't get confused...~ ^~^;;; 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!

Another day come and gone. Another domestic… lax… _normal_ day. Come and gone, blink of the eye. Mundane. Relaxed.

~~Normal.~~

_Tick, tock._

_Tick, tock._

_Tick, tock._

When did it come to this?

It was like he was living on borrowed time.

Not only borrowed. No; it was like his world was a… manufactured one. The things he saw were only snippets of reality. Cute, domestic, plain—just like the house he currently resided in.

Manufactured home. Manufactured people. Manufactured world.

The sense of unease always lingered. The sense that he was running out of time.

_Playtime’s almost over,_ his soul seemed to remind him, day after day, week after week. _Soon you’ll kiss this little dream bubble goodbye. Soon you’ll have to face the music. Soon, your world will come crumbling down. You’d better prepare yourself for that._

_Tick, tock._

_Tick, tock._

_Tick, tock._

Maybe he was dying, after all. Maybe he’d never actually been adopted by some weird human bitch, and she was actually a human taking care of him or preparing his resting place in his final days at the… factory? Clinic? Oh, who the hell knew where he was going to be sent—or where he really was, theoretically, if he really _was_ living in a hallucination—if he’d been taken back. Whatever. Point being, she wasn’t really his— _puke_ —“owner”; she was his caretaker, or perhaps even his executioner.

So sweet. Soft. Kind.

Watching as his physical body, his soul, his _sanity_ , crumbled into dust in front of her.

_Bit_

_by_

_bit._

The fire in her eyes—the determination that humans were so known for—just a reflection of the face she made, in the world of reality, as she watched his degeneration, bit by bit.

As she waited for him to die.

_Tick, tock._

_Tick, tock._

_Tick, tock._

Hell, the Sansy would fit in there, too—another dying mutt, in a glass prison on a metal floor. A neighboring cellmate.

Or maybe he represented the specter of his own morality. Disrupting his fragile hallucinations with snippets of himself. Haunting him at every turn. Hollow sockets. Winking as he collapsed again. Watching silently as he came apart.

A reflection of the monster he could’ve been. _Should’ve_ been.

Or… or maybe…

Maybe he wasn’t even a bitty at all.

Maybe every _single_ memory he thought he had was fake! The conjured imaginations of a dying monster. Maybe he was still in that magical little dirt prison, fallen down and crumbling to dust amidst dreams of a world that he’d never been to and regrets of a person he’d never been. Never been _able_ to be.

Haha! Hahahaha! Ahahahahaahhahahaahahahaahahahahaahahahaa!

Hell! Maybe he’d never even killed anybody! Maybe he’d never **_murdered them_ in _CoLD BlOOd_**

**_ N O.  _ **

**_NnOo._ **

**_NnNNoOOooOOo_ **

**_No no no no no no no nono nononono noonononononono_ **

**No.**

No.

no.

…

How arrogant.

What _wishful_ thinking.

As though the memories—so **_vivid_** —that haunted him always were **_imagined_**.

If only, right?

If _only_!

How **arrogant**. How **cowardly**. How **disgusting**.

You can’t erase the past.

You can’t go back and undo lives taken.

You think that from a little bit of _wishful thinking_ , it can erase the **_filth_** from your SOUL?

Ha.

Hahahahahaha.

No amount of forgetting, or of wishful thinking, will _undo_ the fact that someone is dead. That _you_ took that life.

That darkness—that tainted soul—will _never_ fully disappear.

Never.

Never.

_never._

…

…

…

_Tick, tock._

_Tick, tock._

_Tick._

_Tick._

_Tick._

…

_Goddamn it. This is why you need to stop letting your thoughts wander in the middle of the night. Stupid, shitty bullshit of a non-existent brain._

With a grunt, the red-eyed skeleton pushed himself off the bed. He raised his skeletal hands to his face, then clenched and unclenched them experimentally. A shaky, rumbling sigh rushed out of his mouth in his signature low, guttural tone. Then he clenched them into tight fists again, quivering a little from the tightness of his grip.

_Yeah. I’m real. If nothing else… I’m real._

He stretched, his bones scratching and clacking against each other uncomfortably. Then he dropped his arms and slouched, slinging on a black-and-red hoodie and shoving his hands in the pockets.

Edgy gave a shark-like grin to himself in the dim light, gold tooth shimmering.

“time to make some mind magic, bitches.”

Skeletal feel pattered through the glorified dollhouse at a leisurely pace until he reached the “kitchen”, in which nothing was actually functional except the light switch. Red threw open the toy fridge, then scratched the back of his skull as he reached in.

“it’s a good thing magic powder don’t need to be refrigerated,” he remarked, then smirked devilishly, popping open the lid of the locket he’d ~~stolen~~ retrieved from under your bed. It’d been collecting a bit of dust, anyway, so you probably didn’t miss it.

Even if you did, well…

…

Oh, whatever. Why should he care? Stealing a piece of jewelry—and some magic powder, for that matter—should be the _least_ of your concerns about adopting a murderer.

_There’s no reason for me to care. So, I don’t._

With a scoff, he shook his head and grabbed a handful of magic powder, shoving it in his pocket in one swift movement.

_I don’t care. Not about the human bitch, not about the ‘widdle Sansy’, not about this shitty house-prison, and not about the goddamn hallucinations._

The Edgy gave another twisted smirk, but this time, it was closer to a sneer.

_I. Don’t. **Care**._

He took a shortcut, effectively reaching the front door of the “house” without a hitch, then threw the door open and blipped out of existence again. Thankfully for him, the human had never come to bed and closed the bedroom door, allowing him to totally bypass the would-be issue of the barrier as he jumped straight down the hall, reappearing in the living room. He looked around again.

Not much had changed since he’d ditched the pair in the middle of the day. There was still a pile of wrapping paper beside the couch, and the human-sized stocking was in the middle of the floor, contents spilling out over the edge. The only difference was that now, there was the unconscious human girl sprawled out on the couch and the Sansy similarly out of commission nestled on top of her chest, the faint light from the sliding glass door to the balcony illuminating their figures. Oh—and the makeup smeared on her face. Why she’d given herself whiskers he didn’t know, or care to know.

Interestingly, though, his bluer counterpart neither seemed to be on the alert/only lightly resting (as he sometimes did on nights where he was clearly watching him); nor was he fully relaxed, as he usually was when he apparently trusted Edgy not to try anything enough to curl up beside the girl (usually obviously attempting to rest somewhere close to her soul). Instead, his copy seemed… restless. His limbs kept twitching and his body kept rustling the clothes against her chest as he moved. A disconcerted expression remained on his face all the while.

_Guess the lucky bastard ain’t recognizin’ the prime real estate he’s gettin’ all nestled up in. Heh. What a shame._

He felt a sudden jerk on his soul, and he flinched silently. He placed a hand on his chest in the dark.

_Better stop dicking around and get back to business._

Not caring about alerting the sleeping monster, taking more shortcuts, he wound up in the kitchen. Red eyes scanned the area until his eyes caught the right cabinet and he smirked. Lifting a hand, concentrating, a faint red glow illuminated the handle and it swung open silently, revealing the bottles of wine and other alcohol.

_Niiiiiiiiiiiiice._

The red glow illuminated the neck of a bottle, and carefully, he removed it from its place amidst the others, then using his other hand to open it as silently as he could. Setting down the bottle on the floor, he popped open another cabinet, zeroed in on the shot glass (almost half his height, of course), and again grabbed it with his magic, placing it on the ground and beginning to pour.

Honestly, it was a little surprising when he’d originally discovered the stash of alcohol—he’d hardly taken the girl for a drinker, and he’d certainly never _seen_ her drink, not that he stayed with her most of the time. Still, while a surprise, he certainly wasn’t complaining.

Alcohol normally wouldn’t influence monsters like himself, of course. Even though he was _more_ than experienced in consuming straight human goods… well. It wouldn’t be very useful without the inebriating effects.

Thus, the magic powder.

Magic powder and sweet, sweet drunkenness.

As he pulled the wine away and began to stir in the magic powder, Edgy froze mid-movement as he suddenly felt the sharp spike in magic from the living room. He waited with bated breath for the other monster to appear; but to his surprise, despite detecting the other taking a shortcut, he never appeared. Semi-cautiously, he started up his magic again, sealing the bottle and putting it back where it came from. Picking up his drink, he hesitated only for a moment before taking a couple shortcuts back to the living room.

The scene was the same, with the girl apparently out cold; the only difference being, of course, a missing bitty. Cup in hand, Edgy scanned the area, only to catch a glimpse of the offending skeleton out through the glass door, on top of the railing of the balcony. He caught a glimpse of magic flickering off the other’s body.

Ah.

Edgy scowled.

_Of course he went outside. Just shortcut right on through, won’t you? Showoff. Asshole._

For a solid 30 seconds, he stood there, drink in hand, debating.

On the one hand, he didn’t want to be _around_ the asshole, not particularly. Besides, he’d have to take several extra steps just to get out there, unlike Blue; besides, there was always the risk of waking the human, and he was 90% sure he didn’t want to deal with _that_.

On the other hand… he could give Blue shit while he’s down.

…

…

…

_Siiiiigh._

After several shortcuts to put the shot glass in the house (like hell he was letting his counterpart know he’d stolen from the human—like _that’d_ go well), he returned to his spot and squinted, glaring up at the task before him.

_Click._

Lock turned successfully.

Deep breath.

Concentrate…

…

…

_Sssss…_

He only slid it open a couple of inches, but a couple inches was enough. As the door slid open, the other Sans stilled. He didn’t turn around, but if he was too preoccupied to notice him before, he sure knew now.

Soon, Edgy had blipped through, ended up several body lengths away from his counterpart, and neatly slid the door shut behind him, just enough to block the sound.

“heya, blue.”

“…”

With a smirk, tooth glimmering in the glow of the various dim lights outdoors.

“can’t sleep, huh? heh. hey, i know the feeling. i’m just surprised that lil’ miss sugar-tits ain’t enough to keep ya from feelin’ _blue_ no more.”

At “sugar-tits”, his counterpart visibly stiffened. His companion had put his hood up in the time it took Edgy to come outside, and he couldn’t see his face from his position, but he didn’t need to in order to know that his companion had his teeth bared. Well, more bared than normal, anyway.

Several beats passed. Still, the silence persisted.

Well, now that was unusual. Normally if he said anything insulting about the human, Blue would snap at him immediately.

Red made a _hmmmm_ sound. He sat down on the railing, draping his body across it casually.

“heheheh. i didn’t expect ya to break down like this. guess even blues get the blues, eh?” He rested his elbow on his leg and his chin in his palm. “so, what’s gotten under your skin— _hem, hem_ —eh, **_pal_**?” The hooded shadow shifted. “oh, wait, wait, don’t tell me. let's seeeeee… is it the food? did ya get indigestion? get shitty presents? hmm? oh, oh, _or,_ perhaps, is it the snow? the trees? ooo, maybe it’s the _christmas_ ligh—”

Abruptly, a bone erupted out of the snow-covered railing. But Edgy was ready for it, effortlessly rolling off the rail and re-appearing on the other side of the Sansy, rolling back into his former position.

“alright, alright, i'll admit it. i gotta say, i’m surprised that it took ya this long to crack, blue. i figured you woulda cracked once the decorations started appearin’ on the neighbors’ buildings, much less this one!” Edgy chuckled and summoned a tiny bone of his own into his own hand, then lifted it between his teeth and chomping on it, shattering it and causing it to disintegrate in moments. Then he summoned a new one and stuck it back between his teeth, grinning over it like a cigarette. “i gotta assume it was the gifts that got ya. so sad… you were doin’ so _well_ , too! ah, well, nobody’s perfect. but i guess guys like you are supposed to be.”

“if it’s a crime to get a bit emotional during the holidays, i guess you’d better start sendin’ those grandmas seeing their grandchildren away.”

“ooo. it was a nice attempt, there, but i’m afraid it’s still weaker than normal. 4/10. needs improvement.”

“heh. maybe it is. still… if it’s a crime every time a guy’s a bit ‘weaker’ than normal, heh. i’d say that you’re running late for your life sentence.” Blue’s voice was as low as ever, but as per usual, the threat lay just under the surface.

The bone shattered between Edgy’s teeth again as his smirk morphed into a dangerous sneer.

“oh, blue. bold words for a guy with one HP.”

“bold words for a guy who only survived our first fight because i spared you.”

“ha! ‘spared’ me? you know as well as i do that you would be a pile of dust if i fought you seriously. i was in poor condition when i first got here, but now? heh. you’d be lucky if that blue jacket got away from your dust pile unscathed.”

“oh, of course. i’m sure that when your _SOUL_ has a fit mid-fight, you’ll be able to obliterate me as soon as you can see your hand in front of your face again.”

At this, Edgy slammed his hand down and stood up. He could feel his eye flickering viciously, magic searing _just_ under the surface if _only_ he would **_just… LET it_** —

The Sansy shoved his hands in his pockets and stood as well, finally turning to face his darker counterpart. His flat teeth still glinted against the light as he tilted his head, grinning eerily. “you want a fight, huh?”

**_KILL HIM KILL HIM KILL HIM KILL HIM_ **

“ ** _Hell yeah, I want a fight—_** ”

And suddenly, his soul jerked **_violently_** , and Edgy let out a strangled, guttural cry as he collapsed on the railing. He almost fell, but he grasped onto the metal sides just in time to keep from slipping off.

His body was shaking, _hyperventilating_ , magic evaporating off his bones as his eye rapidly flickered—red, gold, blue, red, gold, blue, so quickly that the colors all blended into each other, indistinguishable, just like the torrent of sensations and emotions in his soul. Pain, regret, fear, hate, pain, regret, fear, hate—

As Edgy scrambled to get a grip on his soul again, he was just barely able to look up as the other Sans smiled evenly, eye sockets empty.

“i hardly even did anything to your soul, edge. all it took was a little nudge with some blue magic, and your soul reacted on its own. heh. blue magic shouldn’t even really work on your soul, but i guess it’s sensitive enough right now that it doesn’t know how to handle it. guess it’s my lucky day. boy, your soul’s pretty fucked up.”

A hand on his chest, his body heaved as he looked up from where he lay at his blue counterpart, expression more grimace than glare despite his efforts.

“you should go back to bed and try to recuperate. but, uh… maybe next time, you should make sure your soul’s _actually_ in stable condition before you try to start somethin’. or, well, you could just not pull somethin’ again, if your soul’s that fragile. you could just give up completely like guys like us are supposed to… just a thought.”

The other Sans made a show of pulling his hands out of his pockets to shrug, winking with his powerful eye open. Then he took a step and disappeared.

“oh, by the way,” his voice came, and Edgy looked down to see him below on the ground in front of the glass doors. “i’ll be honest… my mind was wanderin’ to places it shouldn’t’ve been, but your little _antics_ snapped me out of it again. guess i owe that to you, after all.” He chuckled a little, and Edgy tried to come up with a retort in vain. “as thanks…” He winked again, and a soft blue light enveloped the door’s handle as it slid open. “…i’ll leave the door open for you.”

As a scream of rage left Edgy’s mouth, Sansy winked and disappeared.

The human stirred and made a grumbling sound but didn’t wake.

And after the red bitty recovered and returned to his designated ‘tiny house’, he picked up the shot glass and sat on his bed.

Then he slumped back.

Admittedly… while Edgy gave his counterpart a hard time… he, too, was uneasy with the season coming around.

It reminded him of things he wanted to forget, too.

But in the end, they were just another drop in the bucket of memories—a drop that dispersed and merged with the rest, lost in the sea of memories.

Memories that piled up, higher and higher. Memories that only grew heavier, even when in the back of his mind—memories that time only hurt, not healed.

Memories that he sought to ignore as time beat on incessantly, mercilessly, and unflinchingly, crushing the body and soul of a corrupted being.

_Tick, tock._

_Tick, tock._

_Tick, tock._

_Tick._

* * *

“ ** _TIIIIIIIIK TOK, ON THE CLOCK, LET THE PARTY NOT STOP AT ALL, WHOOAHHOAAHOOO! WHOOOAAHOHAHOOOO! DOOOON’T STOP, MAKE IT POP, DJ BLOW MY SPEAKERS UP, TOOONIGHT I’MMA FIGHT TILL WE SEE THE SUUUNNNLIGHT! TIIIIIIIK TOK—_** ”

“god, _shut **up!**_ as if being in this shitty box wasn’t bad enough, i gotta listen to this?!”

You huffed, mildly peeved about being interrupted. “You totally just fucked up my karaoke, man! Look—I was reciting the lyrics _perfectly_! _—Let the party not stop at all, whoooaahooahooo! Whoahoohahooo!~_ ” Hurriedly, you tried to catch up to the lyrics as they came out of the stereo, even though you’d missed a chunk of it.

“i don’t give a _damn_ about your lyrics! this song is goddamn awful, and your screaming is giving me a headache!”

“nah, i don’t think so,” came your bluer companion’s voice from atop your shoulder. “don’t mind him, the song’s great and your memorization is impressive. keep goin’, i’d love to hear more.” You felt his grip on your earlobe tighten ever-so-slightly from where he was carefully balancing as you took a somewhat-sharp turn as he held on to keep from tumbling off.

You gave him the side-eye, but couldn’t keep your eyes on him for long, quickly returning your gaze to the road. _Like I’d miss that tone of voice,_ Sansy. _I know damn well you’re just trying to piss Edge off. …I’d call you out on it if I didn’t wanna keep singing._

The three of you were heading towards a job fair you’d heard about from searching online—however, it was a fair distance away from your place. Normally you’d just leave Red home (with the collar on, when you remembered), or leave Blue home with him to keep things under control, but… urg. With the time it’d take to go there and back, plus the time you’d be staying and asking questions about jobs… Well, it could easily stretch into three or four hours, and you weren’t really sure you felt comfortable leaving the impatient and temperamental bitty _completely_ alone for so long, even _with_ the collar (the panty drawer incident had not been forgotten). On the other hand, if you left Blue and Red at home together… there’s no telling if you’d come home to a fight, for one.

For another… well…

…You sorta wanted Sans here with you. You know… for moral support.

Besides, this concerned him, too—you wanted to make sure he had a say in whether you accepted a job or not. Whether he’d feel comfortable being alone with Red for however many hours a job’s shifts would demand, most importantly… But also if he’d get… well… lonely.

…Haha… okay. You were probably underestimating Sans’s patience, or overestimating how crucial you were to Sans feeling okay on a given day. Or both.

Still, it was important to know his thoughts. You’re sure he’d go along with it if you got a job regardless of if it made it any more difficult for him, but you wanted to at least give him the chance to speak up, if he had something to say.

“for **_fuck’s_** sake, don’t _start_ with me! turn the goddamn music **_off_**!”

Of course, Red would be staying in the car.

“ _Ain’t got a care in the world, but got plenty of beer_ …” you sang-mumbled under your breath. “ _Ain’t got no money in my pocket, but I’m already here…_ ” 

“ _damn bitch, i still don’t like the song! turn it OFF!_ ”

“no no, keep it on, you’re doin’ great.”

As much joy as you were gleaning from singing an already old and mildly irritating song off-key, you probably should stop before you made the miniature murderer flip a gasket. With a small sigh and a soft shake of your head towards Sansy, you carefully reached towards the radio and began flipping through the stations, turning the volume down a bit as you did so.

**“— _and the walls kept, tumbling dooown, on the city that we loooooove._ ” **

“Ohoh Ilikethisone isthisoneokay— _cloouuds roooll over the hiiillls bringing darkness from aboooooove!~_ ”

“ugh… ok, i’ll admit, this one’s better, so long as you stop blaring it like a—”

“ _But if you close your eyes!~_ ” you cut him off as the beat dropped. “ _Does it alllmost feel like nooothing’s changed at all?~ And if you clooose your eeyeees!~ Does it alllmost feel like youuuu’ve been here befoooore?~”_

A guttural groan of resignation rang out from the box in the backseat, whereas a noise of appreciation came from your shoulder.

“wow, actually… your voice isn’t bad this time.”

You shot him a half-serious pointed look, stopping your solo for the time being.

**_“Oh, howww am I gonna be an optimist about this?”_ **

“hey, i’m jus’ bein’ honest.” Sansy gave a shit-eating grin, teeth bared as always, clearly unapologetic as he shrugged. “no reason to get a bone to pick with me.”

Even though you were only looking his way for a moment as you turned and pulled into the correct parking lot, you blinked little at the bitty on your shoulder.

_Whoa, that’s uncanny. That’s just like—_

**_“Howwww am I gonna be an optimist about this?_ **

**_Well, if you close your eeeeyeeees…”_ **

You shook your head a bit to clear the image forming. “Right… well. We’re here, guys.” You continued as you finished easing into a parking spot. “Uh, Edgy—I’ll leave the car on in case you get overheated.”

“what? i’m a goddamn skeleton! not some fuckin’ baby locket in a hot car! temperature doesn’t fucking matter!”

“Ah—oh. Well—whatever! I’ll leave the music on, then, so you won’t get as bored.”

“wha—wai—!”

“We’ll be back!”

_Slam!_

“oh, for fuck’s sake—”

**_“Does it alllmost feel like you’ve beeeen here befoooore?’_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaahhhhh! I wanted to make the reader-centric part at the end at least a few thousand words longer, but... After everything else and this chapter being difficult to churn out in the first place, I figured that it was okay to stop the chapter there. Plus, I reached my self-regulated 4000-word chapter minimum, so I think it's lengthy enough. 
> 
> Don't worry—there'll be a lot more reader-centric + Reader/Sansy content in the next update~
> 
> And... I tried to use songs that were... familiar to a large base. But for the unfamiliar, they are TiK ToK by Kesha and Pompeii by Bastille (Pompeii is significantly newer, for the record). And I assure you, Reader did not sing it because she "enjoyed" TiK ToK—she sang along because it is really, really fucking funny to sing along to, especially trying to match Kesha's voice. ~~and extremely annoying~~
> 
> Moving on~
> 
> Okay, so, I mentioned that there used to be an author's note in this chapter's slot. I'll post it here if anyone's curious (obviously, feel free to skip over it if you've already read it or aren't interested in it): 
> 
> _Hey everybody! I've just had a lot of writer's block and been extremely busy lately, and just came home from college after a stressful year. Thankfully the dizzy spells are basically gone now. I'm working on a new chapter now (after like 10 false starts and hating each one), so hopefully, that'll be up soon._
> 
> _That said, I probably won't update with the same consistency as before; I basically only have interest in the concepts that I'm working with and the Bitty-Bones AU, and don't really have much interest in Undertale itself anymore. I like the characters in this story itself, and I'm fond of some of the fan content surrounding Undertale, but when I don't actually like the source material that much, it makes it hard to write. I have ideas that I like the source media for a lot more, like Homestuck and Legend of Zelda, so I'm thinking that I might write those alongside this thing; so, I hope that some of you readers would also be interested in those, in case this story gets less inspiration._
> 
> _  
> ~~For those interested in nsfw and/or microphilia content, I probably will write original works and fandom content of both... just so ya know...~~_
> 
> _I do, however, intend to keep working on this story! So for those of you who only want to read this and aren't interested in any other fandoms, then I hope you'll still stick around! I need more inspiration for some slice-of-life content to push the day-to-day of the story forward, amidst the overarching story. I have plots that I intend to introduce and ideas that I've fleshed out, but I can only bring those about effectively if I've got some nice day-to-day scenes of our Reader and Bitties to push forward the emotional connections and vulnerabilities. (Red sure ain't talking about his shit without being close to the Reader, and Sansy is secretive too, despite being less, y'know, angry.) If you all could drop some ideas in the comments then I would be very happy to utilize some of them going forward, or at least draw some inspiration from them._
> 
> _Thank you all for your patience, and I hope that the content going forward will be worth the wait. See you soon in the next update! Cheers! <3 _  
> Anyways! Alright! Back to the routine of asking questions at the end of every chapter~ 
> 
> Do you think this chapter blends well with the rest? Does it stick out, or does it flow naturally? (Even after the hiatus?)
> 
> Is there anything you really want to see? Drama-wise? Relationship-wise? 
> 
> How damaged is Edgy, really? ~~Was the Center right to suggest that he shouldn't be free...?~~
> 
> What was the deal with that door thing, anyway? And why did Sans say that blue magic "shouldn't work" on him? I wonder. 
> 
> Last, but certainly not least... what do you think was on Sans's mind? 
> 
> Anywho~ That's all the questions for now! Answer as many or as few as you like, as always, but input is always appreciated.
> 
> (For the record—even though I haven't gotten around to addressing questions I asked in previous chapters, or mentioned off-handedly... I assure you, I haven't forgotten. They will be relevant, in time.) 
> 
> See you all next time!~


End file.
